Approach Anxiety: The Eternal Struggle and Why You Need to Break Through It

JSmuve

It's the end of April and you're waiting at the bus stop like you've been doing every day for the last 4 months. And just like every day she's there with the same friend. Only today's a little different. Today she's sitting down across from you, stealing glances just like she's done every other day. She's your typical cute girl-next-door type. She won't turn a room full of heads but she's got a quiet, yet pleasant, demeanour about her. You notice her looking at you more frequently and you decide to wave. She waves back and starts up a nice, albeit a little awkward, conversation. She's probably been waiting weeks for that to happen. The bus comes and you sit in your regular spot and she and her friend sit in theirs. She gets off the bus many stops before you, and as she does she turns to you and waves. You wave back knowing that you won't see her again. This is your last day riding the bus. What are the odds, right?


Flash forward 16 months. You're on a different bus route waiting for the bus to leave. Your headphones are on and you're just chilling, watching the people move around the parking lot and get on the bus. Then she gets on board. It takes you a second or two to remember but there she is. What are the odds? She walks right past you and sits down right behind you. She doesn't say a word or waves acknowledging that she remembers you. She just sits down, right behind you. At this point you're thinking to yourself, "shit, should I say something? Does she remember me? I mean, I remember her so she has to remember me. She's not sitting behind me out of pure coincidence, right? Ok, what do you I say that won't come off as creepy? What happens if I say something and she doesn't remember me? That could get awfully awkward awfully quickly." All these "what if" scenarios race through your mind that it essentially paralyzes you. By now it's dawned on you that you've taken so long that she probably has her headphones on, which adds another wrinkle into this clusterfuck of a situation. Long story short, you two get off the bus at the same stop but she goes one way and you go the other way, and you never said a word.


Approach Anxiety: The Eternal Struggle and Why You Need to Break Through It


I'm sure you're all familiar with stories like this and have plenty of your own. This one happened to me a couple hours ago and I'm kicking myself in the ass for not saying something. The point I want to make here to you guys is to not be like me in this situation. Approach anxiety is like air; it's inescapable, but that doesn't mean it has to dictate your decisions. You might say that you'll approach the next time, but that's just denial. The fact is, if you make a habit out of pussyfooting away from approaching then you'll wake up one morning in your late 20s and realize you have nothing but a decade of missed opportunities and regret; a lot of "what could have beens". I know approach anxiety's an incredibly difficult thing to break through but it's not something you can just put off until later. Life doesn't work like that. You never know when/if you're going to get another shot, so shoot while you can. Don't be like me.


Don't die wondering.

Approach Anxiety: The Eternal Struggle and Why You Need to Break Through It
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