On my last myTake "How to approach Girls" I got a lot of crap on how eye contact actually makes you seem like a creep or a pervert.
So can looking at a girl in the eyes make you seem like a creep?
If you're doing what this guy is doing then yeah definitely.
Before I get into the reasons on why eye contact is important, I simply want people to use a little common sense and think for a moment on where is the best place to look when you're meeting a girl for the first time. First of all when you're talking to people, you don't do it from the side or the back, you do it face to face.
So you have a choice on looking at either
- Her Face
- Her Breasts (Pervert)
- Her Abdomen (ಠ_ಠ)
- Her Legs (Might as well stare at the ground)
- Her Feet (Foot Fetish??)
Other than that you have a choice of either keeping your eyes closed or stare at the sky which regardless to say would only end up making you look like a weirdo.
The only place that's left then is her face. A face, for those who don't know, (usually) consists of a forehead, a pair of eyes, a nose, lips and a chin.
So lets start with the forehead, nose and chin. The most common thought that would occur to a girl or at least to me when someone's staring at either of these is "Why is he looking at my forehead? Is it too wide?" "Why is he staring at my nose? Is it too big? Is there something sticking out?" "Is there something wrong with my chin?"
Now one could say that if a girl is actually thinking like that then she must have a lot of insecurities but if you think about it, in reality almost anyone would have the same reaction. I mean why would a stranger you just met be staring at your forehead or nose, it just seems weird.
Then we have the lips. Honestly if you think about it the lips are actually a pretty good place to look at. It doesn't really seem weird or brings out any particular thoughts out of the person being looked at since lips usually tend to be best feature of most women what with lipsticks and all used by almost everyone. There is however a catch, lips are usually considered sexual in nature. If someone of the opposite sex is looking at your lips frequently, they might be unconciously assessing the pleasure they would get if they were kissing you. Believe it or not but a lot of women can actually catch that whether it be from experience or instinct. So in essence that could put off a lot of women since they barely know you.
The only thing we end up with is the eyes.
So why exactly is eye contact important? These are the main reasons
Eyes can reveal your thoughts and feelings
There is a saying that "The eyes are the window to the soul" now whether you believe in the existence of souls or not, this saying still holds a lot of merit.
Throughout our lives we make a lot of expressions with our eyes to convey our emotions. We are wary of shifty eyes and afraid of getting the evil eye.
We're attracted to people who have kind eyes and eyes that sparkle, glow or twinkle, while we are repelled by those who are dead behind the eyes.
Ever wonder why poker players often wear sunglasses?
Even if we hide what we're really thinking and feeling in our body language and facial expressions, it's often still revealed in our eyes.
The fact that eye contact reveals information is also known to babies even if they're not aware of it. From the moment we are born we tend to look at our parents eyes to figure out what they're trying to convey when their face is otherwise ambiguous. And we continue to do this for the rest of our lives. Now it makes a lot more sense on why babies often stare at people who have rather expressionless faces.
It creates an Intimate Bond
Our brains transmit messages to the other parts of our body using cells called neurons. There are specific types of these cells called mirror neurons that are present in our cranium. This basically means that if a person is performing a task and another person is observing them doing that task, the same neurons that are lit up in the performers brain is also being lit up in the observers brain.
And the activation of these mirror neurons is especially sensitive to facial expressions and you guessed it, eye contact. Have you ever been hit hard with an emotion Eye contact creates moments when are able to really feel what someone else is feeling. A good example is when two people find each other attractive, so basically when you look at someone and find them attractive there is always a good chance that they'll do the same. It links together your emotional states and creates empathy and an intimate bond.
Have you ever wondered why it's so easy to be angry and hateful to people on the internet but when you're face to face with them it's quite the contrary?
Well know you know, when you look into their eyes you often can get a sense of their humanity and your anger greatly dissipates.
Our Eyes Beg for Attention
Out of the other 220 species of primates known to man, humans are the only one with white part or sclerae on their eyes. This is one of the reasons why our eyes are so unique and attention grabbing.
The whites of our eyes make it very easy for others to see exactly what we're looking at and notice when our focus changes direction.
The whites of our eyes make it very easy for others to see exactly what we’re looking at and notice when our focus changes direction. While primates will typically turn their gaze in the direction a person points his whole head towards, a human infant is more likely to follow the person’s eyes, regardless of which way the person’s head is tilted. Anthropologists think our uniquely human eyes evolved to help us achieve a greater level of cooperation with others, which is helpful in survival and building a civilization. All of which is to say: your eyes were made to communicate with the eyes of other people.
Most Helpful Opinions