Alright, so hopefully you've read part I. If you haven't here's the link:
š Click on that and read it. It talks about the first reason as to why men approaching women is a disadvantage for them. This take will bring up another reason.
Of course just like the first take if you have a traditional view (meaning you feel the guy should approach first forever and always and be chivalrous) then this take might step on your toes a little, and if it does.... I didn't care in part I and I still don't care in part II ššš. This again is for women to get a better understanding of why men are disadvantaged when approaching you.
So...
Now I want to talk about one more thing thatās important and a disadvantage for men when it comes to them approaching you. Iām sure you already know what this is. This should be an obvious one.
PROBLEM: Rejection
I know you didnāt see that one coming š š š. Iām sorry but really Iām not sorry because I have to talk about it.
Like I stated earlier typically women want a man to approach them like he wants a new friend (though it denies his sole masculinity to a degree). Lucky for you the guy is the seller and youāre the buyer right? You can see what heās selling and deny it. He canāt deny you since he approached you. This is a big advantage for females and a big disadvantage for men.
Iāve noticed that in my experience some of the biggest female loud mouths Iāve ever met STILL get shy around men when it comes to the approaching process. Sure, the guy walking up to you is a stranger but instead of approaching him you throw signs at him in hopes he approaches you. Itās amazing how women can get shy when it comes to that. Meanwhile men who may or may not be actually shy HAVE to approach you? They HAVE to pursue you? Then he knows that he may get denied.
Itās really sad how many women will just refuse to ask out a guy first. Trust me I know because Iāve purposely let women give me signs for a while and they still refused to ask me out. Maybe you feel you might get rejected. Is the guy supposed to feel thereās no chance heāll get rejected?
I've noticed that in my experience some of the biggest female loud mouths I've ever met STILL get shy around men when it comes to the approaching process.
Okay so now I just want to touch on how to correct this issue. How do we solve this issue?
The truth is Iām not sure you can. Is it nature? Is it nurture? Maybe both, but women will be women and men will be men. All we can do is hope. I will give some tips on making the approach process easier regardless. You might take this advice. You might not take this advice.
In any case here we goā¦.
9 TIPS TO MAKE THE APPROACHING PROCESS EASIER
1. Donāt over assume: Hear the person out. You donāt know them. Donāt assume you know āhow they areā or what theyāll say. You donāt lol.
2. Smiling isnāt easy: When youāre nervous itās hard to smile and often times women say they can see when a guy is faking. So why should he fake smile? It doesnāt mean heās not interested just because he didnāt smile. If heās approaching you then he clearly is into you. It may make you feel uncomfortable, but wouldnāt you feel uncomfortable in his position too? It is also a proven fact that women are better at smiling than men.
3. Respect honesty: There are plenty of guys who try to fake what they want because they feel a womanās intentions are different. Some guys have made it an art at lying to women about their intentions. These are the guys who you should be DENYING. The guy who walks up and asks for your numberā¦.well at least heās honest. Another guy could say he wants to get to know you when really he wants to get in your pants only and maybe thatās not what you want but youāll accept his dishonesty. I just think maybe women should be more considerate of honesty.
4. Tell him your name: If the guy introduces himself why not introduce yourself? And if he doesnāt introduce himself why not tell him your name anyway? Itās not that hard right? You expect the guy to do it then why canāt you? Lol š.
5. Doing too much or too little: Often times when people get nervous they do too much or do too little. It happens. Guys arenāt perfect. Youāre not perfect either. Iām not saying you should like everything a guy does, but I am saying that it should be understandable as to why heās doing too much or too little. Perhaps you can say something to calm him down. Maybe say āRelax I wonāt bite.ā or āYou can sit down if youād like.ā
6. The number game: Damned if he doesnāt. Damned if he does. Should he or should he not ask for your number? Iāve heard from many guys about how they got to talking to a girl and forgot to get her number. Sure you as the female may āfeel goodā, but then how are yāall going to contact each other? How can it grow if he never asks for your number? Lol. Maybe he could come back, but thatās not always the case either. I know there was one woman who Iād go to where she worked at and weād talk but I didnāt ask for her number. One day I went in there looking for her and her former co-workers said she got fired. Never seen her again. So approach (no pun) the number thing like you might not see that person again without it because you may not.
7. Chivalry vs respect: Chivalry can be a lot of things, but respectful isnāt always chivalry. In fact chivalry is sexist in some cases and overly apologetic in others. Men should be respectful when approaching women, but women should too. Please donāt look at your phone. Donāt laugh with your friends. We all know what thatās called when youāre that way lol. Self-explanatory. Look him in the eyes as heās talking to you. If you donāt want to accept his advances then after hearing him out politely decline.
8. Encouragement: This would go a looooong way. Once heās done talking to you if you accept him then kindly say something like āIām looking forward to talking to you later.ā Or if you didnāt accept him then say āI wish you luck.ā or āI really hope you find the right woman.ā Things like that will encourage guys who get rejected to not give up hope. To keep trying.
9. Leading a guy on: Lookā¦rejection hurts. Iāve been rejected. You might have been rejected. It hurts. Uncertainty happens. Iāve been uncertain about things. Youāve been uncertain about things. All that said there are women who lead a guy on. Like I said earlier guys want to be the number one guy. Some guys are overly impatient, but some women arenāt impatient enough either. At the very least you could respect a guy enough not to get his hopes up and then crush them. Girls Iāve talked to have responded rather quickly to what Iāve wanted because Iāve made the effort to let them know. I think the issue is that some men donāt press the issue as to what they want and the female doesnāt either so then you get this situation where the guy thinks itās something itās not. This is going to sound harsh, but climb your ass out of that limbo like, otherworldly, alt. dimension; youāre in and make a decision. I donāt know if Iāll ever understand the indecisiveness of some females. Hear a guy out, but at the end youāve gotta decide. Be realistic. Maybe women are indecisive in hopes that the guy doesnāt get heartbroken, but heās going to hurt more if you build it up.
Alright so thatās it. I hope that youāve understood the position men are in somewhat when they approach you. I acknowledge that women are different than me and will always be different, but Iām very positive that you can at least take SOMETHING from this that can help make the approach process easier for you and the other person.
Take care.
-ED
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