So I approached a man at a club. Lol I’ve NEVER done this. He caught my eye as I was on my way out and he was in a deep convo with his friend. So I straight up approached him and asked him if he was single (HE WAS) and got his number. He was shocked lol & said he couldn’t wait to take me out to dinner. He has my number as well but it took him exactly a week to finally text me. A WEEK? my friend say he probably has a girlfriend. Thoughts?
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+1 y
Also I want to add.. I’m a sold 9 on an off day lol I’m attractive. Obviously beauty is in the eye of the beholder but I just want to add in the facts. 😂
Isn’t it night to feel desired? Women have benefitted from the privilege of feeling desired forever. Even when tribes warred the men were killed but the women were taken because they were desired. Undesirable circumstances aside being chased was a privilege for women. I think it’s good for men to have women approaching.
As for the week to respond… you picked him. You saw him, thought he was hot, wanted to fuck and date him, and now you don’t like he’s different then how you expect him to be… I don’t see the issue here. If I message a woman and she responds immediately every time Ide think she’s got nothing going in her life. Sure it’s irritating to not get a message back immediately when your texting but stop being needy.
He’s got his own shit going on and apparently it’s working out for him if YOU approaches HIM.
Honestly, I like to choose... Why only men have the right to choose?
I approach men I like and that's totally fine by me. I get to choose the man, get to know him, know his intentions and see if he's interested. If it's all good, that's a jackpot.
If I get rejected that's totally fine too. Nothing special, I go forward.
By the way, the typical "guy" of today is so unattractive that I pass almost all the time.
There were times where a handsome man approached and we had stuff but their character revealed some downs so...
I get to choose. Of course I won't do what men are supposed to do by default but choosing a person you like should be the choice of everyone.
Also, concerning your story : you choose someone but that doesn't mean he's the one... "The one" doesn't seem to even exist, but if he does, that's a hell of a hard job to find him...
So don't waste your time and go on to the next one.
Not to be a simp but you’re right. I respect a woman that has the courage to come up and say hi. Means they know they have nothing to lose when talking to me. I’m just a guy and if it doesn’t workout they can move on. We both can.
Do you babe. If you want something, you go for it right? So why not someone u fancy. Just go for it. I know people will say it's embarrassing for a lady to ask a guy out but we are in the modern era. Time is money. That person you are crushing might be into you too but is afraid to approach or tell you. Some guys are very shy when asking a girl out. The only thing you should know is your crush's personality. Some guys are annoyingly silly and would tease you or even tell you out. So you should know who you are crushing on first before you make the move. He or she might not like you but wasn't it worth it? At least it might help in overcoming the feelings you have for him or her. So just go for it. Period!
I'm totally fine with women approaching men. One thing that came to my mind reading your description that might have played a role in the situation that he was insecure about how to proceed like when a guy asks out a woman it's kind of clear that he also arranges the first date but now he was in a situation where he wasn't sure if it's still his job to message first so he might have waited to give you time. Plus as everyone has also a life around of dating there might have come things in that kept him from messaging.
You could ask him about it but I don't think he has a girlfriend it just happens to guys rarely they get approached so he might have spent some time wondering if you actually were serious about your approach and it wasn't some truth or dare thing.
I'd say this is probably what I would prefer on a larger scale.
And guys wish this stuff would happen more. I feel like if any girl tells you that you're doing it wrong, they probably just feel it threatened their option to passively wait for relationships to come rather than taking initiative.
But I appreciate a girl with initiative. Also I'm generally cautious about flirting until she shows she's receptive, and this does it right away.
But yeah, there's a lot of stuff this reversal balances out. Lots of double standards it could help disssolve. Lots of understanding we could have for each other.
Many years ago I moved to California, Long beach. There was a club that I went to that played 50's 60's music, yes I am that old, so I went to listen to the music and have a couple of beers. I would sit at the bar getting into the music and a women came up and asked me to dance! I was stunned, but said yes. I asked her why she asked me out of all of the native talent that were there, and she said that I looked like I would be fun. The other guys were just sitting there in their poses, looking cool, and there I was just bopping to the music. I told her that never happened back home. I had others come up to me as well, it was great not having to make the first move, but I was not used to it. So at least foe me it is great when a women approaches me to ask me out. At least I know she might be interested in me.
Him waiting that long is unacceptable especially when you approached him. He’s either trying to play the game or he’s flattered but not attracted to you. Either way, this guy isn’t going to give you what a million other men WILL and without making you initiate.
Probably misplaced your number and he only found it a week later. You go, girl! I truly support women approaching men first to give guys a break… They too deserve the royal treatment. So when are you guys going out for dinner?
More than likely he's got several women in the rotation. If he's tall and good looking (and high paying job), I call them the 5 percenters. They know they can get any woman they want and they're in no hurry to settle down because every woman from a 5 (who thinks she is a 10) to 10 is going after this group of guys. Therefore, he knows he doesn't have to try hard and can wait patiently to take a swing at the ones that come his way.
@plumfairymen You think still like a 1950s woman... You approached but aren't willy to contact him first... If it was reversed would you still expect him to contact first? Do you see what im saying?
@butimrighttho I feel like that’s giving desperate vibes. I’m not. I thought he was attractive he caught my eye, and from there I will give him the opportunity to let me know if he’s interested by reaching out first. I also want to add I’m attractive. Like really attractive. I already made a bold and out of character move for myself. I’m used to men asking me for my number constantly…so maybe that’s why I was surprised he didn’t reach out sooner? I’m just trying to understand what he could have possibly been thinking within that week before he finally reached out. Me
Also since the post …. he invited me to dinner but I couldn’t go so we ended up meeting in a group setting later and he was extremely DRUNKK. Like I was totally disappointed. So there’s that.
i’d assume he’s dating other girls but you can’t assume he has a serious girlfriend. Also he took a week to hit u up so he doesn’t seem too thirsty. I've had girls flirt with me or ask for my number. in public settings and it’s usually easy to tell if they’re sincere or not. If a girl that’s an 8 or hotter hits on me in a bar or club i assume she’s a hooker and i’m usually right 😂
I've been approached by several women and we dated. I don't see anything wrong with it. We talk about equality, so why are women still expected to be demure or meek.
First bravo! More women should step up and risk rejection like we do. Second stop worrying about if he has a girl or not. If he contacted, you a day or a month doesn't matter, if he's got a chic on the side, you won't find out that way.
I suggest you do it only with a guy who really stands out because most guys would take it for granted... Kinda like the guy you've met.. even me who's telling you that did that a few times lol
It's what society shows people. Even on many movies, they say if you contact too soon you're too desperate. So his friends probably told him to wait to not look too eager and scare you away.
To me... women approaching men is like when I guy has a comment that the girl he likes has no flaws... she may not see it the same way and wonder why that's being said or why he feels like that.
We are confused as to why someone would come flirt with us cause that's not the norm like as if a woman was told she is flawless she may feel like he is lying and not honest and wonder why he says what he did... its not the norm and we aren't comfortable... it should be the norm cause I think more honest things would happen.
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