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Stop Using Introversion or Shyness as an Excuse! (Page 2)
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There's a difference for ultimately being shy and having social anxiety that's just the way it is. I used to be very shy and I overcame it because was put into social situations but someone who suffers from social anxiety will have a very hard time no matter if they are put into those situations or not. It has to do with how their brain works and their emotions towards certain things
I am just waiting for the right moment. A shy person can still try to make an effort to say hello, but it's not easy and it certainly sucks when you come off creepy by leaving your comfort zone. See where I am getting at? It's no so easy to tell a shy person to just not be shy! Other factors are working against a shy person than merely just being shy!
It's a lot easier than done. Shyness isn't an excuse especially for young people. The only things who get this cured is the time.
I used to be very very shy, near to faint when I had to speak in front of people, I even get a lot of F grade because I refused to do the oral test.
Now I'm a lot better but thinking of me back then I never used shyness as an excuse it was truly a real problem.
Some people are shy. Let them be shy. In my opinion, one can be reserved and taciturn, choosing words wisely before he speaks, but one should never, ever be excessively shy.
If a boy likes a girl but is too shy to ask her out, then he can always pass and wait a while. Another way is to have some guy friends around and invite an attractive girl to the guy club. This may help introduce the girl to the guy's friends, let her pick whom she likes, and let the relationship follow.
i went out of my way to explain how being shy is not an excuse XD i didn´t say stop being shy at all. i said try not being shy sometimes.
yeah as if passing and waiting ever got anybody the girl. that´s how she ends up with that douchebag that makes her cry her eyes out on your shoulder while shoving you balls deep into the friendzone. it´s about stepping out of your usual role for short periods of time.
you can be not shy for some time. nobody said that you should stop being who you are,
Remember, there is a difference between shy and introverted.
Shy means you want to talk to people, but can't bring yourself to do so.
Introverted means you would rather spend time doing other things than talking to people, but can talk when you are interested.
I simply prefer my own company , I'm an introvert & being honest , am not that keen on people in general , and my situation as a FT working single dad , means I badly need recharge time , plus my children always come first , therefore do not attempt dating.
this take implies that you´re looking for a partner. if that´s not what you want, this take isn´t for you.
I decide if I can, not someone telling me I need to. Ty
swansquawking.typepad.com/.../6a0112796309eb28a401b8d19fb0ab970c-pi
i hate how it sometimes only integrates the link, not the picture
this is a take to help you. if you don´t want help, then what are you doing here?
Um, so anxiety and depression as well as mood disorders are things to just will away... interesting. Lets look at this scientifically, as most of these "introverts" are one of the people i listed. Telling people to just "say fuck it" and that it's a choice is bullshit. Instead of being shallow and critisicing these millions people, how about you actually accept them and realize that not every guy or girl is this magic stud who can just use confidence to get the guy/girl. Confidence is NOT everything.
you read nothing of what i said. you just assumed i said some bullshit and then you went ahead telling me how stupid i am without even reading what i said. good job dude.
Im not shy (unless there is a girl) but im quiet
And i do have anxiety although i haven't been diagnosed with depression or anything
I disagree with this mytake, this is easier said than done! You can't just stop being shy thats like the popular kid just stop being popular but harder because your struggling with something diffrent
Easier said than done
If you have a diagnosed mental disease, this task is not for you. This take is more for people like me who are stuck in their comfort zone. Real social anxiety is a different beast that you should get professional help with. I know this take won't help you with that. Good luck with overcoming your issue.
It's true that you have to have courage to step out of your comfort zone, but for an introverted person, It's a tough shell to break out of. I know, cause I went through that, and it took years to expand my horizons and gain self-confidence.
Yes it's tough. But as you said that shouldn't keep you from still trying.
I am the diametric opposite of shy.
Nevertheless, it is a genuine issue for many people. I like what you've written here about tackling it. There is no doubt in my mind that it holds a lot of people back, and that most of them can overcome it.
yes the majority is like me and just uses it as an excuse to stay in their comfort zone. they rather do nothing about being attracted to someone than encountering an awkward conversation or a rejection.
One of the most valuable lessons I ever learned was how important (even critical) it is to get yourself outside your comfort zone. I learned this at a training session at a place I worked, and it's something that's always stuck with me.
I try never to let an opportunity pass to go outside mine, and your Take laid out the potential gains for people who suffer from shyness, if they make it their goal to get past it.
i´m still in the phase of carefully stepping outside sometimes xD but i plan to do it more often.
I'm confident you won't regret it.
me too :D
Thank you for posting this. This is something a lot of us "shy" guys are aware of but is still something we need to be reminded of. I have girls smile at me from across the room at parties and stuff but in the moment I typically find an excuse not to approach that falls along these lines. There are plenty of introverted guys I know who have excellent social skills and are killer with the ladies. This shouldn't be an excuse.
exactly. it´s a decision anybody can make. keep blaming it on the introversion or go and do something so you don´t have to make excuses. i´m pretty much just amping myself up to do it, cause i´m the exact person this take speaks to xD
My issue is talking in public, making presentations, be assertive in front of a crowd.
Generally I'm okay with a small group of people, but some people are more intimidating than others. Like some American people.
Yeah same for that issue. You have to keep exposing yourself to it to improve.
Completely agree.
Though this topic can go much deeper.
People use shyness as an excuse because they are afraid of exposing themselves to rejection
That's actually not much deeper xD that's what I mean exactly.
I wasn't trying to make a deeper point. Just agreeing with what you meant and saying it can also be more complicated sometimes.
I don't mind that. Poeple with guys say that. All cowards here use the term social anxiety. Like they have a mental block so they can't work on it.
yeah well finding an excuse to not do it is always easier than to do it xD but it won´t pay off.
So just supress everything, yeah just like school. Be this that's bad, don't be yourself, don't be thus don't be that.
who said stop being yourself? i said improve yourself. if improvement means not being yourself to you, i feel sorry for you.
You can; mprove yourself and forever be I troverted or shy or whatever. Improvement doesn't need to be social
Well you don't need to do anything if you're fine with how things are. But if you have trouble finding new friends or a girlfriend, your introversion and shyness won't help.
Very good take - I have a slightly different route, I don't think I am "shy" or "Introverted" but I feel I am very quiet so that gives the mindset that if I need to, I can do it.
I feel sorry for introverts, and I can honestly say I don't understand what they go through with shyness. I think unless you experience it first hand you don't really know what it's like.
You don't need to feel sorry for introverts. Social anxiety and low self astern are completely different to people who are simply introverts
Shyness, confidence issues and introversion often go hand in hand though. I know you can be only one of those but I feel like shy people often are introverts too. Even though I think I'm just an introvert but not shy.
@genericname85 my point exactly thank you
though social anxiety is of course worse to that as depression is worse than just being in a bad mood. i know "real" social anxiety is a much more difficult problem to tackle.
It's true that shy people are likely to be introverts and often are. But the opinion owner above made it sound as if all these problems come with being introverted which simply isn't the case.
@anniisa it´s a pretty common theme. specially on gag. most of the "problems of talking to the girl" come from "i´m too shy" or "i´m too introverted". all this take says is "so fucking what? grow a pair. you can do it. i know you can".
if you don´t have those problems then why bother reading this take? :P
Because I can read whatever takes my interest? By opinion owner I was talking about the person who originally shared this opinion. Nothing was meant to go against you so I don't understand your comment 'then why bother reading this take?' as if I was talking about you
@anniisa XD yeah sorry i was kind of refering to opinion owner. i messed the reference up.
Alright, no worries 👍🏼
Introversion and shyness are not the same.
If being around other people is exhausting then you're introverted. It's a matter of if you're energized being with people (extroverted) or if you're energized when you're alone (introverted)
Don't you realize that the difference doesn't matter for my take? -.- I feel so ignored by all those people force feeding me the difference in the comments...
I feel like we have created a millennial cult of introverts. It's not that being shy or introverted is BAD - it's that if you don't overcome it to a certain extent, you will often feel very lonely.
Yeah. The millennials strive to find excuses to stop working for something.
First off, why would an introvert be at a party? lol
introvertion and extrovertion are brain chemistries, there is no scientific relation between shyness and how outgoing someone is. very few people seem to know what an introvert and extrovert are
I'm an introvert but I still go to parties. I don't like to do it often but sometimes I try to enjoy it. I often drink some alcohol to get a little bit more outside of my comfort zone but I think never going to a party is unacceptable even as an introvert.