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Stop Using Introversion or Shyness as an Excuse! (Page 3)
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I love this post. Thanks for sharing this.
I'm still trying to get this girl at work. That's pretty much the only thing I talk about on here for the past maybe few weeks.
just internalize: a botched try or rejection are better than no try at all xD that´s what sometimes helps me get out of the comfort zone.
Would you date a co-worker?
hell no XD i mean you can´t choose who to fall for but just think about having to work around someone you still love but they broke up with you. this is the reason why everybody will dissuade you from pursuing a co-worker. this is not a "introvert/shy" issue. this is common sense. don´t shit where you eat.
That's what people are telling me but they are putting in a nicer way. I need someone to be blunt with me, like you.
Out of a week, I see her maybe twice. Does that change anything?
Out of those two times, I talk to her maybe five minutes each barely.
Also, I already have her number and we are supposedly trying to make plans to eat somewhere.
Honestly, I think I am getting the "runaround" situation. She might be too nice to say no and end it before I go too far.
can you arrange your work place in a way such that you can avoid her completely and never see her again?
Yeah. I have some control over other peoples schedules.
So either way. If I stop trying or if we have a bad breakup, I can avoid her.
well that´s good then. i think in that case you can make an exception to the rule. how about making the "supposed to be making plans" a "making plans" for a start? like text her and ask her if she wants to go eat something together or grab a coffee or something.
Somehow she got in control of scheduling it. She has a busier schedule than I do, so that's fair I guess.
I'm just taking it day by day. I see her tomorrow but I will text her tonight but try not to sound like I'm hinting about going somewhere. I don't want to be pushy and/or annoying about it.
you don´t need to be pushy. just be nice here and there. drop some hints. make compliments.
if you feel the mood is right, ask her for a coffe or whatever. if she says no, move on.
Yeah. It should work out. Just drop slow hints.
Agreed and so true.. still some who doesn't have much of social will still be shy
yeah see then they should get that started, cause not doing anything won´t change anything.
True dat
Introversion/shyness doesn't mean here. If you are not hot, you won't get this person. At least as a guy.
i didn´t say anything about guarantee of getting the person you´re after but sure as hell doing anything won´t even get you a chance.
Introversion or shyness need no excuse.
Not wishing contact with some persons needs no excue either
the premise of this take is that you want to be with someone but you don´t go and talk to them cause you´re "shy" or "introverted".
Many want to be with someone but hate clingy people.
What's your point in relation to my take? I don't get it.
Being "shy" or "introverted" is a way to avoid those clingy people.
XD maybe. But I refer to those people who never approach anybody even though they want to, claiming they "can't" cause they're introverted or shy.
I'm shy/introverted/whatever you want to call it because i've only been rejected and I just expect it at this point.
Yes I understand it. Just gotta keep trying. I mean not everyone will like you. Everybody goes through a lot of rejections not only is why people.
I don't see how it would work out for me. I mean I don't know what to say or do. I also am not the best looking guy in the world. I'm exhausted because of this feeling.
Here's something that comes to mind. "Stop being shy & confidently approach the person you are attracted to & talk to the person vs you are not that person's type & you get friendzoned anyways".
Well that's a possibility. Shit happens. Move on and get her out of your life if your just a friend to her
That's okay, I've done that a few times & have them blocked on facebook. Me personally, I'm not shy when it comes to women, but it does get depressingly tiring if one guy keeps on getting the same results over & overy & over & over again from other women. That's why I look at it as,"What's the point of going up to them if I'm going to get the same stupid results anyways?& even if she does accepts me as a new boyfriend, she's just going to break it off from me within a short period of time anyways, so I'm just wasting my time".
I never was Shy. But don't see any problem in someone being.
I do not see any problem in anyone being. People are different, each with its charm and its way of being.
Being shy is only a problem if used as an excuse that's keeping you inside your comfort zone.
I agree!
no Im actually introverted my family is extroverted they have to be social and going out , Im usually at home , I get tired faster being around people and socializing
no what? your statement doesn´t negate anything of what i said. read first before you comment.
it obviusly did , im not making an excuse for anything prick
you obviously only read the headline and not at all what i said to elaborate what i mean. no reason to be overly offensive if you´re the one not reading and hence not even understanding what i mean.
success is a process, and to overcome shyness is a process too.
i legit had a panic attack when i was put to talk to someone
If it's a legit panic attack and not just you being a huge chicken, you should really see a therapist about it.
True, I'm shy but when I want that ass, I'm coming for it :P
Easier said than done. Especially those of us that have social anxiety and are not jsut shy.
Yes social anxiety is a real issue. I was implying most people that throw this word around don't actually have it. If you have it, see a professional xD
I don't disagree. I think very often it is misused. But it's not that easy to push yourself to be 'extroverted'. I think for myself, what worked is taking baby steps and getting a little braver each time. I don't know, this is definitely something I've struggled with over the years.
Lol this is exactly what I said you should do I'm my take :P
Never said it's easy xD
I was diagnosed with GAD (General Anxiety Disorder). So I have a bit of everything. I don't have panic attacks, but I used to constantly be on edge. Not very attractive to others. It used to make people feel uncomfortable to just be around me. Now I don't take any meds, feel a lot better, but I am still shy around people that I want to get to know and be friends with or have a relationship with. I am thinking it is trust issues, and probably poor social confidence and a feeling of inexperience compared to my age level.
Things like these improve after improving your life and whatever hang ups you have. For me it is my weight (working on it) and my career (I am making decent money, but it is still entry level).
I'm shy but my dick ain't so I just let him lead me.
How to get the girl you like 101.
xD more like how you get rejected 101 :D
Hey man I never got rejected in my life meaning it definitely works XD
well i'm just saying. if you let your dick take over you either end up rejected or with a slut xD at least that´s my experience with this.
People are the way they are.. Some are outgoing and others are not. If a shy person doesn't want to interact with you to leave them be and go on.
I say this as an introvert who has no issues interacting with people.
this take wasn´t meant for introverts and shy people who want to be left alone. this is for those who have trouble getting to know people. if you don´t have problems with it, then this take doesn´t speak to you.
Nice piece, just not sure it can apply to every shy / self conscious person. Some people are so shy / self conscious it's crippling and I would think it's a bit insensitive to simply tell them to 'stop making it an excuse'.
If it's so crippling you can't even begin to start trying, then you should get professional help. But the vast majority is just a pussy like myself sometimes xD
I say let yourself be shy, but don't identify with it. You aren't shy, you act shy, but you certainly aren't a shy person. Labeling yourself is restrictive. You are so much more than just "shy". You have so many other qualities to offer people in social situations or in any other situation.
I always say, babysteps. Go to that party even though you are super shy and will probably end up not talking to anyone. Just enjoy the scene and maybe just talk to the host a few times. Introduce yourself, but don't force yourself to make a conversation if you don't want to. Just be positive. You'd might be surprised how many people actually come up to you.
So what if you are a wallflower? You gathered the courage to come along didn't you? That is a success in and of itself. Next time you might feel more comfortable and actually take things a bit further.
It takes success upon success upon success to build up confidence. It takes practice to get good at any skill.
The greatest rewards lie in the tightest grips of chaos.
ya this article is pretty much only meant to be geared towards guys
nonsense. girls too. girls also often use their gender role as a third excuse to not do shit about their attraction to a guy. cause "women are not supposed to do it". that´s bullshit in my opinion.
ya I was being sarcasatic
XD i intentionally made the take gender neutral ^^
I was speaking on my resentment on how men always have to be the hunters, I've always hated it
yeah i hate it too but hating it won´t help you. accepting it and adapting to it is the only way.
ya i assume you know what i mean about hunter, ya because what bothers me the most is that when i do hunt, apparently i'm not allowed to be filled with anger and resentment over it because women can sense it and it turns them off
yup it sucks. cause i hate the way how men treat single women like vultures treat a corpse in the desert. but what can you do xD that´s how things are.
you can't meet anybody if you stay in your mother's basement reading books and playing video games all day.
it doesn´t take living in your mothers basemend to end up with those issues.
There's nothing wrong with being introversion. If they don't wanna talk, they don't
Yeah the problem I'm talking about is when they'd like to talk to the person they are attracted to but don't cause they are convinced they can't do it cause they are oh so introverted.
Oh i see. Well in that case I say "you must not want them that bad" and i get annoyed if they complain about it later like do something or don't even talk about it. Move on to someone more of your speed.
See I no longer go for extroverts as much as I want to, I'm more at ease going up to an introvert guy. It's like i become the extrovert
yeah "you must have not wanted them that bad" but how can you want anybody "that bad" i mean at the point of not knowing them, there is not a lot of motivation to talk to them to begin with. that´s why we keep telling ourselfs it´s not worth it.
Oh i mean based off looks. That's what makes attraction in the beginning
Yeah but many people look attractive. From a shy persons point of view it doesn't make sense to talk to them first cause you think you can't attract them anyway.
Not me, I realize staring from a distance will never get them to notice i even exist
This only applies to guys, girls are entitled to sit and wait for opportunities to present themselves to them while guys have to go and get them otherwise they're faggot loser cucks.
You need to learn a lot about emancipation xD