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Stop Using Introversion or Shyness as an Excuse! (Page 4)
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Touche, man! It's similar to the reason why I always procrastinate.
growing up I was the class clown so I like the attention. so I'll just make a fool out of myself when ever I got in front of the class
Some people are truly paralyzed by anxiety and need professional help.
well then they should get professional help. this take is for those who are just little bitches like myself sometimes :D
completely agree with you
myself im a pssy like that most of the times :(
I just say to myself (what im gonna say, i didn't know her, what the fuck should i say to her?)
and actually i dont lol
@rubymig best thing is go over and say exactly what´s going through your head. like "hey i just saw you and while my brain was trying to make up an excuse not to talk to you, i just went anyway and so hi, my name is..." ^^
Ye im introvert and sometimes i force myself to talk even though I dont want to
It's not an excuse, it's a mental block, you can't fight it because there is no cure for shyness :(
see you exactly do what i said. you use it as an excuse. it´s not a mental block. you don´t "like" doing it so you don´t. i mean there are rare cases of crippeling shyness that makes it impossible for people to have any social interaction but most of us are not that.
It's not that I don't like it, I just can't... I would love to, but I'm blocked by the shyness :(
"Blocked" it is called the "comfort zone" and yeah we don´t feel compelled to leave it as it would be uncomfortable. that´s the point here. you have no "block". i mean unless it´s a weird mental illness but in that case, you should see a therapist about it dude...
Ok, then I'll visit the therapist.
i mean you say "i can´t" but you litterally mean "i don´t want to". because all it takes it go up to them and talk. and if you just stuttered and embarrased yourself, great. you did the first step. next time you´ll do better but the point is that the fear of the embarrasment keeps us from doing it. it´s not a "block" xD
No, I really want to, but I'm afraid, that's why I can't, I'm paralyzed with fear of rejection :(
See were getting closer. You're afraid. This is the whole point. gotta do it anyway.
But how? Would you jump from an airplane? No, you wouldn't... that's what it feels like :(
not so scary jumping from a plane if it´s still on the ground dude. there´s no danger involved. same as with going up to people and speak to them.
That's the main problem, I mean, I can talk to people if I don't care about their reaction, but if it's some attractive girl, I just get paralyzed, nothing helps (I don't drink alcohol, I tried a few times but it didn't help).
Well keep on trying. Work through the awkwardness and embarrassment till you can take it.
You mean until I fall unconscious? Because it could happen under the pressure...
You won't fall unconscious. So yeah I have faith in your ability :P you should also start having faith in yourself.
Thanks, at least someone has faith in me, I guess I should try developing some sort of self-confidence :)
you don´t develop self confidence first. you go out there and embarrass yourself untill you ultimately get better, till you get good and this is how confidence is built.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXsQAXx_ao0
I had lots of embarrassing situations in my life, despite my attempts to avoid them, but I didn't get any better, I guess I should learn to avoid some mistakes from the past too.
it´s not about attemting to avoid them. it´s about learning to take it.
Oh, you mean like this? :P
media.tenor.com/.../tenor.gif
yeah. you know those scenes where the anime figure gets punched in the mouth and you think they´ll be knocked out but they turn back their head, a little blood runs down their lips and they´re like "is this all you got?" that´s who you´re going to be. you don´t get there obviously without getting punched in the face a lot.
How can I get strong enough to endure it, is there some special way? media.giphy.com/media/AZbs1xcOIOHok/giphy.gif
yeah. i already told you. get yourself into situations that make you endure it. the more you do, the more easier you can do it. it´s training.
Ok, I'll try, I hope I can endure it... thanks for the support.
I agree. There are times to turn it off
You can't really turn it off.
Just stop using it as an excuse is what theyre saying i think.
@BaileyisDarcy i guess not turning it off but instead just not bing it for a few minutes. maybe ignoring it would be a more fitting word.
But you can't just "stop being it" thats why people think they can't do things because of it.
If people could just "stop being it" there would be no such thing as shyness at all.
@BaileyisDarcy yes you can. Everybody can. It's called acting.
But acting only works temporarily. If you want to build lasting relationships you need to be congruent. No one likes a faker or a liar. I would rather someone admit that they are shy or a bit nervous to me so that I can empathize and be friendly than they try to act outgoing when they really aren't. Granted, I might not be attracted to shyness, it isn't the end all be all to attraction in general. I would find it braver if the person was willing to be vulnerable to me. It shows that they are trusting me.
It is just too bad that men are expected to be these super-confident rocks without emotion, because realistically, everyone is a bit nervous, especially when they like someone and want to make a good impression.
How about "I hate people"? Is that an excuse?
i implied you want to have contact to people. if you don´t want, then just don´t do it. you don´t need an excuse.
being introvert does't mean being shy
Obviously. But people use both terms as an excuse to stay passive and blame it for being single.
Great take, thanks for sharing!
I wish shy girls would overcome their shyness
well most shy people aren't opposed to being advanced xD so threre's always something "you" can do on your end ^^
If they'd just take it, then yes
I see your points here, very nice
Still going to do it
you must benefit greatly from that.
Not really
difficult but yeah you're right
your saying because you have to face it to improve
New perspective. Nice take
dang, you're right
One word, anxiety
if you have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, listen to your therapist, not me. if you don´t, grow a pair :P that´s basically what i'm saying.
Interesting thoughts
Keep it up
Thank you