Playing VS Being Hard-To-Get

Idonthaveausername

Men hate it when women play hard-to-get...but they also dislike women with standards, who are picky, or simply don't like them. Playing any sort of game is childish, immature, and likely to end in drama and hurt feelings on both sides. Women have many options of flirting or showing interest in a man even if they are unsure or shy, so resorting to manipulation and mind games should be avoided and not intentional. Men should avoid women who play games but put the effort in when it comes to women who are honest with their intentions, because those women will put more effort into a fulfilling relationship in the long run. Men who put no effort into courting should be avoided because they will put no further effort into a relationship, so women should not feel bad or humiliated by men for being hard-to-get

Is she interested?
Is she interested?

Playing hard-to-get

Some women really do play hard-to-get. These women are often insecure, have poor self-esteem, and poorly manage relationships they enter into, so these women should be avoided. If you are a man interested in a woman who is playing manipulative mind games with you, then beware of impending doom within your future relationship if you wish to woo her. Otherwise it may be helpful to spot these early signs of manipulation and nip her ego in the bud by moving on. Calling a girl on playing hard-to-get will probably cause her to lose interest in you and move onto another willing victim

Signs to watch for

* Mixed signals - A girl who engages you heatedly, but then ignores you for a week is probably playing games. Once you venture into flirting, a girl shouldn't backtrack on her intentions. A girl who flirts or teases with you and then acts like just friends is unsure of what she wants or trying to use you. Girls who play often initiate a lot of physical contact early on, but draw back once they hook you. If she sends you hot and cold signals, she is either not that interested in you or is interested in someone else and keeping her options open

Playing VS Being Hard-To-Get

* Humiliation - A girl who intentionally demeans, humiliates, or otherwise puts down a guy she is interested in is immature and not ready for a relationship. She is interested in you because you stroke her fragile ego and make her feel better about yourself

* Shallowness and vanity - Girls who play hard-to-get are usually quite shallow and focus heavily on vanity. Heavy makeup and designer clothes hint towards her vanity, but the most obvious red flag is excessive Facebook and Instagram pictures. A shallow girl will flirt with you about your looks or bank account and not seem that interested in your personality

Playing VS Being Hard-To-Get

* Social media use - You can tell a lot by looking at someone's Facebook page. If a girl shares a lot of pictures online of her with other guys and you're not one of them, then she's probably playing with you. If a guy or girl you're interested in or dating pays a significant amount of attention to the opposite sex online, then they're more likely to cheat on you

* Friends and family - Someone who is playing you may act more interested in you one-on-one but cut you down or ignore you in front of their friends. Women have a more complex social hierarchy than men when it comes to approval of significant others; a girl who fears her friends or family may not approve of you dating her may act differently towards you in front of her friends or in public. While this situation is confusing and you could potentially win over her friends and family, you should not date someone who feels embarrassed to bring you around her friends or date you in the first place. This will become apparent if her family or friends treat you poorly or laugh about you behind your back

* Communication - If a girl gives you her number, she is interested in you either as a friend or boyfriend, so flirt with her to see what her intentions are. If she flirts with you or gets physical, then she is interested. A woman who is interested in you should give you a clear message and intention, so if she is wishy-washy, inconsistent, or cancels plans on short notice, she is not interested in a serious relationship. A girl who only messages you once-in-a-while to flit is probably playing you

Playing VS Being Hard-To-Get

* Uncertainty - Key phrases such as "I don't know what I want from this," "I'm not sure about you," and "This isn't a good time for me to be in a relationship" usually mean "I think I can do better than you" or "I'm emotionally not ready for a relationship," or "I'm not over my ex." If a girl flirts with you and seems interested, but pushes back on a relationship, she is only playing that she's interested

* Promiscuity - If a girl mentions how many ex boyfriends she's had or her friends comment about things with her old boyfriends she hasn't done with you, then she is probably only using you for attention. Some girls like to think they're not that easy, but they are. When a girl acts like she hasn't slept around a lot or had a lot of boyfriends, but you find out she has been lying, that is a sign of a girl who is playing mind games to get you to like her

Being hard-to-get

Most women have certain standards and desire certain traits in a man--this is a good thing because they are thinking about long-term potential. Some women have more standards than others, are pickier, or find it harder to connect to men--these women are looking for someone specific and want to make sure you match what they desire in a man and for a relationship before getting in too deep. A woman who knows what she wants and isn't sure if you are compatible is not playing--she is cautious and genuinely hard-to-get. Whether a man chooses to pursue a woman who demands effort in pursuing her is his own choice, but no woman should settle for less than what she needs for a fulfilling relationship. A woman who is genuinely hard-to-get will open up to you over time, but build a stronger connection when you she does

Playing VS Being Hard-To-Get

Signs to watch for

* Subtle flirting - A woman who flirts with you subtly or only when you initiate may be shy or slow to start relationships. She may flirt childishly rather than with sexual overtones. When you make a sexual joke, she will giggle and blush. The more you get to know each other, the more mature her flirting will become

* Physical contact - Women who are harder to get are often uncomfortable with physical contact from strangers. If a girl lets you hug her around the shoulders, but moves your hand away when you grab her butt, that does not mean she is uninterested in your advances. When a girl who you're interested in slows down your physical advances, but maintains a small level of contact such as hugs or a kiss on the cheek, she wants to be able to trust you before you go any further

This is a friendly hug, but she may have feelings for him too
This is a friendly hug, but she may have feelings for him too

* Shyness - Shy girls seem to send mixed signals because they are terrified of rejection. The hallmark of a shy girl is watching you from a distance...often. Shy girl behavior is similar to stalking except they would be too scared of you catching them if they actually stalked you. Shy girls seem like they play hard-to-get because they shut down, run off, or diminish their feelings for you when you confront them. Despite her distant behavior, she will still want to be in your presence, watch you, or ask your friends about you

* Uncertainty - The difference between playing and being hard-to-get is apparent in the uncertainty. A girl who is genuine will be uncertain about you, or specifically, trusting you. Upon first meeting you, she is unsure about your compatibility, so she needs time to communicate with and trust you before making her decision. When a girl is uncertain about you, it is best to be consistent, clear, and honest

* Minimal experience - Women who are genuinely hard-to-get will have had less experience with less partners. A woman who is under 30 and dated less than 5 guys is hard-to-get because not that many guys have "gotten" her. So if a girl you're interested in mentions she only dated a few guys or experienced a bad relationship with one she thought she loved, then she is holding out for someone she truly connects with and will treat her right. She will most likely be nervous the first couple times you interact

She likes him but is nervous
She likes him but is nervous

* Personality - Probably the highest indicator of telling whether a girl is playing hard-to-get or really is lies in her personality. If a girl exhibits a great personality, treats other people right, has a decent sense of humor, takes care of herself, and looks attractive, chances are she knows her worth. But a woman who is worth it will be humble, and her personality will show it. An attractive girl will not flaunt it; a nice girl will not try to convince others she is kind; if she is independent, she will prove it; she will talk about her goals rather than her successes. A girl who is genuinely hard-to-get will have a lot going for her

* Friends and family - A girl who is slow to relationships will probably tell all her friends about you and what degree of feelings she has for you. In this case her friends will probably encourage you to get together, hint that she likes you, or mention that you two have a lot in common. When a girl who rarely meets a guys she is interested in finds a guy she is interested in, her friends may be overly supportive of you two getting together. Her friends may also ask a lot about you to figure out for themselves what she sees in you that makes you so interesting to her. On the contrary, her few close friends may also be overprotective of her and not want you to hurt her, especially if she has been hurt in the past

Playing VS Being Hard-To-Get

* Business - Some women cancel plans or seem wishy-washy because they are busy. In this case, it is best to understand why she is busy or decide if she is blowing you off. If she works too many hours for you to handle or spends too much time taking care of others, then that is your choice whether her time is too hard to get or not

Not interested

Sometimes when guys think a girl is playing hard-to-get, she is really just nice and trying to let him down easy because she has no interest in him whatsoever. She may think her actions come across clearly, but unfortunately most people suck at reading body language with women edging men out slightly. Men experience much difficulty with this one when they think a woman is being especially nice to him, but she is just nice like that to everyone. Confusion arises when the woman smiles and talks sweetly while rejecting the man. Probably the worst ones are women who want to be friends with a man, but not date him, and these women need to be clear about their intentions. Many men assume women are playing hard-to-get when there is no real romantic interest involved and men are reading too far into things

Playing VS Being Hard-To-Get

Signs to watch for

* Fear - A girl who is scared of you may make eye contact...in fear...like a dear in the headlights...watching you because she feels threatened. Whether you feel that you look intimidating or not, a woman may be scared of you. Generally this becomes more of a problem with complete strangers on public transportation or at night or in sketchy areas, but a girl who catches your eye everyday in class may be sketched out by you always staring at her in class. In this situation, she will make an active effort to avoid you, so try not to confuse her with the shy girl. She may also smile a forced, unnatural smile in nervousness

This woman is uncomfortable, not attracted to you
This woman is uncomfortable, not attracted to you

* Communication - A woman who is not interested in you will not initiate conversation. At first she may attempt to squash attempts at conversation. She may give you her number or "friend" you on Facebook, but she will drop conversations at awkward intervals and rarely or never initiate it. Avoiding flirtatious comments is common if she is not interested in you even if she maintains a friendly relationship. She may agree to hang out with you or grab drinks, but the "date" will seem more casual and friendly than romantic. If a girl is only interested in being friends, she will most likely say so

* Mixed signal - Sometimes women feel an obligation to be nice to men; sometimes treat everyone nicely, are working, feel badly about rejecting people, or want to avoid looking bad by straight rejection. One of the biggest scenarios where mixed signals appear is between co-worker or classmates because nice women often try to appease others in order to prevent confrontation or difficulty running about their daily business. In order to tell what kind of mixed signals a girl is sending, look at the situation to see why she may be sending you mixed signals

She is nice because she wants your tips
She is nice because she wants your tips

* Serial flirters - Some women (like men) are serial flirters. These people confuse many people and they need to elaborate upon their intentions to avoid sending mixed or hot and cold signals. Spending any amount of time with a serial flirter tends to expose their ways, so it should be obvious her laugh and hand on your shoulder is not different than her laugh and hand on the shoulder of another guy/girl who iterates a funny joke. Often it can be difficult to tell if serial flirters are interested in you, so it is better to assume they are not unless they explicitly bring it up

Conclusion

Some women like to play games for attention, some want to hookup for one night, and others want a serious relationship, but want a little bit of proof of compatibility before agreeing to date or go out with men. If you are unsure about a woman's intentions, then ask for clarity, and ask yourself if you want to continue pursuing her from there. If she makes you feel negative, then she is probably playing with you; if you make her uncertain, then a little effort may go a long way. Trust is the biggest factor here, so being dependable and trustworthy will expose the truth sooner or later. A girl who is playing will continue to play even after you prove that you're dependable and trustworthy, but a girl who is genuinely hard-to-get will slowly open up

Playing VS Being Hard-To-Get

The first time you meet a girl, you will not be able to tell her intentions, so give it time

Playing VS Being Hard-To-Get
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