Is He Serious About You?


Women often ask questions about their boyfriends, husbands, and prospective love interests: Does he love me? Does he want to marry me? Am I the only woman in his life? Is he serious about our relationship? Should I break up with him? Unfortunately, by the time a girl asks these question to anybody other than herself, the answer is almost always the harder decision to make. If we pay attention, we can notice the signs early on and either avoid even worse heartache with a bad relationship or learn to find better quality men

Is He Serious About You?

This is not comprehensive nor does it guarantee a man will treat you right. Men who want to cheat will cheat on women they love, and a man can be serious about marrying you, but also constantly abuse you. It is possible to love someone who isn't right for you, and those are the hardest relationships to end

Does he like you?

Most of the time you won't be able to tell how serious a guy is about you when you first meet because he doesn't know how serious he is about you because he doesn't know you yet. But a man who is serious in general will put more effort into getting to know you than one who only wants a casual relationship. Manipulative men may also come off as genuine to fool you into thinking they're better people, but manipulative behavior should never be tolerated in a healthy relationship

Is He Serious About You?

* The way you initially meet someone can affect the rest of your relationship. Most relationships that start through mutual friendships tend to work out the best. Online dating helps shy or busy people find common ground and interests before diving into a relationship. Couples who consume alcohol on their first date are 20% more likely to regret their relationships, so reconsider how well meeting a stranger in a crowded bar will end before jumping into bed with the first attractive stranger you run into. Initial interaction can spell disaster or success in many things

* If a man is interested in you, he will let you know. He will make is presence known to you and he will ask you out. If he is unsure about your interest in him, he will draw things out, but still keep in contact with you. A guy who ignores you for lengths of time or cancels plans to meet up is not serious about starting a relationship with you. If you feel like you're putting in more effort to go out or like he doesn't care, then he most likely doesn't

* Assume that every man who is interested in you wants to have sex with you. Sexual chemistry is extremely important in a romantic relationship as it inspires excitement, physical interaction, and keeps you up at night thinking about your new crush. But if a man focuses only on sexual chemistry, pushes you to sleep with him when you first get together, or highly emphasizes sexual overtones in jokes and conversation, he is probably more interested in sex than anything else. A man who wants to develop a serious relationship with a woman will respect her enough to wait until she is ready for sex

Is He Serious About You?

* Watch out for guys who "play the field." Nobody wants to date a cheater, so pay attention to the way he looks at other women, if he flirts in front of you or behind your back with other girls, if you've heard about him involvement with anybody else you go to school or work with. Online dating allows people to continue conversations with others while dating you, so discuss any open accounts. During the initial stages of dating, someone may be interested in more than one person, so it's important to be honest about intentions, and it's okay to set a time limit on when to make a decision. A man needs to make it clear that he only has eyes for you if he is serious about relationships

Is He Serious About You?

Does he love you?

Some relationships fall into place and others slowly build over time. Whether you fall head-over-heals or place one foot in front of the other, there is a fine line between a man who really loves you and one who loves being in a relationship...with you. More than one woman has wondered if the love her life is merely using her for his own self-satisfaction. When asking this question, be honest with yourself, don't defend his actions with excuses, and imagine what your future will look like if he never change

* A man who loves you will miss you when you're apart; he will be excited to see you when you reunite. When you embrace, his hug will feel comforting; when you part, his kiss goodbye will feel yearning. On the contrary, if your relationship is no different together than apart, then something is probably missing. Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to garnering your man's attention. If you feel like he is ignoring you, not spending enough time together, or apathetic when you're apart, then there is a high probability he doesn't really love you

This is why women don't like men who play video games
This is why women don't like men who play video games

* Physical affection is important for a relationship and a man who loves you will let you know with his actions towards you that he cherishes you. Frequent kisses, hugs, hand holding, gazing into your eyes, comforting when you're in distress are all things a man who loves you will do for you. A man who is distant may be distant for any number of reasons, so it's important to understand why. Withholding physical affection, especially after an argument, is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. Outright rejecting your physical affection (unless otherwise preoccupied or in emotional distress himself) is a sign that he doesn't love you or doesn't appreciate your company

Is He Serious About You?

*Planning your future at any stage in a relationship depends on many factors, especially when it comes to racial, cultural, societal, and biological factors, but it's important to be on the same page. Wanting to fool around before you settle down, worrying about a pre-nup or divorce, or not wanting to meet your partner's parents is a sign that one of you is more serious about your relationship than the other. A man who loves you will desire the same things out of your relationship that you do, a partner who deliberately denies you the next level in your relationship or resists letting his friends, family, and social media know you're an item isn't a partner you can live the rest of your life with

* Respect is the most important thing in a relationship. Without respect, one or both people will feel offended, unrequited, or like they're putting in more effort than the other. A man who loves you will respect you. A man who respects you will support your goals in life, take your opinions into account, enjoy activities you love, and treat you well--better than well. Abuse takes many forms of name-calling, gaslighting, sexual abuse, physical abuse, mental and emotional abuse, and social isolation, and a man who abuses you in any way does not love you, only the idea of you. Furthermore, someone who repeatedly cancels plans, allows other people to insult you, or thinks poorly of your goals and opinions is someone who does not respect or love you

Is He Serious About You?

* A man who loves you will make you feel secure in your relationship. Security looks like the woman and man who separate to hang out with their friends on a Saturday night, but relax and enjoy the night because each one understands the other will not betray their relationship. A man who loves you will not give you any reason to fear he would cheat on you. Insecurity in relationships looks like anxiety, fear, argumentation, abuse, secrecy, and uncontrollable anger. If a man intentionally puts you on edge or makes you feel insecure in your relationship, he does not love you

* Is he serious about the rest of his life? You'd be a fool to think you're the only thing in a man's life that he is serious about; a man who is serious about relationships is serious about work, family, life, religion, or whatever else requires responsibility from him. Men who stay out all night drinking and blowing cocaine up their noses are not serious about life and will not be serious about you. Marriage, children, and property ownership require a steady income, so a serious man will either maintain work or set up a plan, create goals, and attend higher education to secure a serious career. When a man does not take his own family seriously, he will not take your future family seriously either

Don't let it be a pattern
Don't let it be a pattern

Many an "I love you" has been said in vain. Men are more content in bad relationships than women (that's a scientific fact for anyone who was wondering if that's merely my uneducated opinion), so they will be more hesitant to break things off when things turn sour or they fall out of the honeymoon stage. When a romance dwindles or the honeymoon stage wears off, it takes strength to come to terms with a dead-end relationship. At this point, you both need to be honest with each other on whether you want to continue or if you've fallen out of love

Does he want to marry you?

Ten years into a relationship is a little late to decide whether you want to marry someone or not, but four months is alarmingly early; many women wonder if now is the right time to get married, but even more wonder if he is the right one to get married to. After years and professions of love, partners have to wonder what the next step is or whether they don't want to take the next step with each other. Throwing out years of your life and starting over is a terrifying idea, but sometimes the fear of staying in an unfulfilling relationship is worse. Marriage is the goal for many men and women, especially those who want children, so it is important to address whether your partner is as serious about marriage as you are before taking the leap of full commitment

Can you hear the wedding bells ringing?
Can you hear the wedding bells ringing?

* As outlined above, a man who loves you will be on the same page as you, so a man you are considering marrying should also be considering marrying you. At this point you should feel free to discuss all matter of ideas, fears, and desires with each other. A man who seems hesitant to agree with your desires or wants to wait longer than you is on a different page than you. As years pass and you share more experiences together, a man committed to you will desire to experience further stages of your relationship with you

* Discuss how you desire to live a daily routine, how to raise your children--if you even want children--and options of child care or someone staying at home, who takes care of the house such as cooking and cleaning, any trips you want to take, and any expectations or contentions. Someone who loves you will hear out your concerns and address any issues before blindly jumping into a marriage contract. But there are men who will dismiss your concerns against theirs, ignore your desires in pursuit of their own, or pressure you into doing something their way even after years of professing love for you, and those men do not take their relationships seriously. Address your compatibility and consider what compromises you can or will not concede to

Is He Serious About You?

* Is he content with your relationship? If your man would be content with your relationship not changing over the course of the next 5, 10, 30 years that can be a warning sign. If he would be content because your life together is fantastic, enthusiastic, and fulfilling, then he won't have a reason to avoid taking the next step with you. Chances are that if he is content with your relationship the way it is, he is not serious about a future with you. A lot of men are "happy" with cohabitation: somewhat reliable sex with someone you care at least somewhat about, but that, more often than not, leads to dissatisfaction down the line. A man who is serious about you will not be content with you--he will want further mutual commitment

* A man who is ready for marriage with prepare the rest of his life for you similarly to how a serious man in general would prepare his life for a serious relationship. People who love each other inspire each other to be their better selves and reach their fullest potential, so a man who loves you will provide for you in the best way he can. If you feel like your love stalled in your honeymoon stage and your man never grew up, he may not grow up to meet our expectations. A woman should marry a man who meets or succeeds her expectations, but she should never marry a man expecting him to change

Is He Serious About You?

Are you happy?

Lastly, and most importantly, ask yourself if you are happy. If a man loves you and is serious about you, no matter what stage your relationship is in, he will strive to achieve happiness--for you and himself. Pay attention to the way a man makes you feel to decide where your future lies. Regardless of disagreements and fights, if a man regularly or intentionally causes you unhappiness, stress, hate, or self-doubt, he does not love you and is not serious about you; if a man leaves you wondering where he stands about you, then you need to wonder about where you stand about him

Is He Serious About You?

If at all you wonder where your man stands, bring it up to him. In a serious, caring, loving relationship, you both should feel free to discuss your concerns. At times a simple clarification can mend a misunderstanding. Many men suck at sharing their feelings and would feel horrible if they thought you felt unloved when they in fact love you very deeply. Open communication will only help your relationship or understand better clarity on why it is failing

Is He Serious About You?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • LeoElias
    You only know a guy truly cares about you if you go through the worst moment of your life and he's there every step of the way trying to help you and going extremely out of his way to make you feel happy/better. Going above and beyond for you and even after the time has passed he is still checking in on you so if you need a shoulder to cry on he's there without a doubt. If he isn't there, he doesn't care.
    Is this still revelant?
  • Reggieray
    Great take - as long as these concepts apply to both parties, simultaneously. Love is something that you both share, it's not just something someone else does for you. I hope you all get what you give... and I hope what you give is true love.
    Is this still revelant?
    • I agree 😊👍 can't be one sided!

    • I totally agree. But I wrote this specifically about men for women because a girl here requested it after my last MyTake. Love is mutual respect, effort, and admiration. Unrequited love or effort leaves one partner unhappy or hurt

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • Logorithim
    Love & respect are absolutely crucial and are the best indicators someone is serious about you.
  • LoneMan96
    Beginning to wonder if women even want this anymore
    I have been in 3 failed relationships in a row since becoming an adult.
    All of them I treated with respect, and wanted to form something long lasting

    I just can't seem to get it right.

    Just want the ladies to know. There are guys who really want to be in love, and get married.
    • You're young, so you have plenty of time to get it right. As long as you've learned something from each of your failed relationships, you'll be a better man for the one right woman who comes along

      Most people our age are only into casual sex and hate relationships, but Millennials who do care enough to get married have lower rate of divorce than our parents. So Make sure you find a woman who wants to be in love with and married to you as much as you do

    • LoneMan96

      Thanks for the kind words, it means a lot. Yeah each relationship taught me what I shouldn't do, or should for the future.

      The hard part is finding someone I can connect with for more than a year.
      Thank you, and I hope you find a great partner, or if you already have one, its prosperous

    l love your take its fantastic l am more than serious about only one girl in my life that l more than love and respect its very hard having to be apart we both know that we both want each other l am a 100% loyal it won't be long till we see each other its just the waiting it does hurt but in the end it will be well worth it for the two of us
    • Oh thank you so much! You sound very enthusiastic about her. Just remember that you will appreciate being together even more for every second you wait longer

    • Thank you very true 🍰

  • annaflorez838
    Maybe if I had a boyfriend... I could be asking myself this question
    • You're so young you don't have to worry about finding a boyfriend yet. Focus on what you want to do and be, and you'll find a guy who wants to be with that version of you

    • @Idonthaveausername
      I was just kidding lol... but thanks for the advice.

  • msg812
    Wow twenty two thousand one hundred people are following you and you are only following gag and gagtake. How cool.
    • Lol. I'm an influencer, so G@G automatically signs people up to follow me when they create an account... but some of then do choose to follow me as well :)

    • msg812

      Oh yeah I forgot gag automatically signs people up to follow some influencers but probably you have also many people following you voluntarily and I am one of them. Following you is an honour, young lady:))

  • Lance1965
    Sadly sometimes you have to wait till something really bad happens to see if your partner is still there for you before you know for sure and this goes for women as well as men. The hard times are the real test.
  • BraveHeart97
    Women these days are just batshit insane. These ways are a good way to get you friend zoned and risk having her sleep with another guy. Don’t listen to what a woman says about keeping them fellas. You don’t ask a fish how to catch it, you ask a fisherman. Women are emotional creatures and they respond highly to drama and manipulation. Not sure why but it is what it is.
  • crazy8000
    It's little funny how some females still believe that happiness is something you make from the outside and comes up with all kind of hilarious theories and grasps for fucked up science that isn't even true when it comes to it even within science.

    Happiness is something you chose to be!
    Not something we lay on on some other person to make us!

    (Then you have some other funny thing's that's one sided I'm not even gonna address because they are common sense)
  • anonymous010101
    I treat the women I like but she just doesn’t see it !
  • Joves
    That's accurate for a girl
  • RedRobin
    Nice take
  • clare25
    interesting perspective. i like this
  • PetrovaFire92
    Interesting 😋😊🤔🤗🙂☺️
  • VixenRach
    Great take 😊
  • Secretgardenblood
    Good take
  • Iron_Man
    Maybe he is serious about you
  • harryrai4
    Just relax
  • Anonymous
    I agree with a lot here! However, I hate the stereotype that men just want sex. We have self control aswell.
    • The problem is that so many guys these days only want sex that the few and far between who actually care about relationships get overshadowed. Due to society's misguided expectations, many men who do want relationships also focus heavily on sex and are not willing to wait for it since they think they have other options. My ex really wanted a relationship with me, but he wasn't willing to wait, so he cheated on me. So while I wish I could agree with you, my personal experiences make that difficult

  • Anonymous
  • Anonymous
    If he doesn't spend every waking moment thinking about you, posting about you, texting you, calling you, talking about you, catering to your every whim, and meeting every detail of your expectations, then he doesn't love you. He's not worth your time

    If he does, then he's not a real man. He's not exciting and he doesn't focus on his goals enough. He's not worth your time.

    Disappointment takes careful planning.
    • That's why it's important for a man to be serious about relationships when he isn't in one. If he focuses on his career and house and education and everything important when he us single, then he will be prepared to take care of a woman once he finds the right one. If he gas everything else figured out beforehand, he won't be forced to split his attention between the two

  • Anonymous
    Strangely, I felt disappointed to find out the author was a female. It's a good take but I think I'd rather here about topics like this from a male. Like who better to share some insight on this than a man himself?

    Kinda like a woman writing a "What Men Want," article. It's so broad for one and if anyone should write it how about a man? Anyhow, amazing take. Good job.
    • Haha thank you anyway. I wrote this because a girl on here suggested it after my last Take. I wish guys would write serious stuff like this, but most of them write about crap or are jerks

  • Anonymous
    Good mytake!
  • Anonymous
    Good stuff!
  • Anonymous
    In general I agree with you, but there are some things that I think you're wrong about.
    Firstly, the sex. Some people have a high libido, and they simply don't want to wait a long time to finally have sex. I am one of those people - I might be genuinely and seriously interested in someone, but I would still want to sleep with them in the very beginning of the relationship. That wouldn't make me disrespectful, but rather impatient.
    The second thing I disagree with is taking worrying about prenups and divorce as a bad sign. It is only natural to take precautions and worry before deciding to share your life and all of your belonging with another person. This i especially true for people whose parents went through a difficult divorce. If anything, having a prenup is a failsafe, you never know what's gonna happen 20 years from now.
    Also, not wanting to get married at the same time is okay. For example, a girl who just finished her bachelor's degree is dating a medical student. She can start her career and settle down now, but he wants to wait to finish his studies before he starts a family. The fact that he doesn't want to marry her right now doesn't mean he isn't serious about her.
    • Wanting to sleep with someone isn't a problem, but being impatient is. If you can't wait for someone, then you need to break things off and not lead them on thinking you have more self-control than you do. Pressuring someone to sleep with you is wrong

      I get that some relationships work with a prenup, but worrying about divorce before you even get married is setting yourself up for failure. If you can imagine divorcing someone, you shouldn't marry them in the first place

      That last part is kind of true. Yes a guy can be serious even if he's not on the same page, but that's probably not going to work out in the long-run. Part of being serious is being serious enough at the desired point in time. Someone who is a medical student will probably not going to have enough time for a serious relationship, and will be busy at work afterwards. There are more factors at play with that scenario

  • Anonymous
    not bad. not bad at all.
  • Anonymous
    Well written
  • Anonymous
    I understand the part about videos games when it can be overdone. However we have our things we enjoy so I think that can be worked out.
    • Haha I just threw that in there because I thought the picture was funny. Not every woman hates video games, especially if you play them in moderation. Women just don't like when they feel ignored or neglected over video games

      My best friend dated a guy who ignored her for video games. She stripped completely naked in front of him, begged him to sleep with her, and he still ignored her for his game. That's not healthy for a relationship

  • Anonymous
    Good one. I agree with most of it, especially the fact that if you start asking yourself if he is serious or not, he probably isn't.

    I have been making this pattern... It has been a rough one. The guys I choose have been manipulative and quite self centered. I don't like how I always tend to get to know those guys. One was a friends friend, who adored me openly and made it seem like he was serious with me. There was really just one red flag (and that too only after a while of dating) which was that he slipped a truth out of his mouth by mistake. He didn't mean to tell me, because he wanted me to believe he was serious. He maybe tried to convince himself too. But he revealed the truth by a simple line: I didn't come here for you. Then he tried to cover it, introduced me to his parents and planned some future together, but I started to notice his other mistakes. His answeres were colder and replies delayed. He made almost no effort in meeting. He was just playing.

    Another guy was already planning to marry me. But in reality he was actually really not wanting a monogamous relationship. He wanted an open relationship, but he never used that word or described it before after all that future planning etc. He then told me he wanted me to understand he wants to share love in his own little community and be loved.

    • Thank you

      That's some pretty unfortunate luck you've have with some guys. The ones who pull off pretending to be serious are the worst. My ex was like that, but I caught him cheating early on. My view is these men honestly do love the women they're with, but they're too fucked up in the head to treat us properly. They can't accept satisfaction with only one woman, but they want to look like they can because it makes them look better

    • Anonymous

      Yeah, that's very true! They're really the worst. The one who were talking about marriage is actually in a quite serious relationship with an older lady who has two children. Still he keeps texting me.

  • Anonymous
    Take your time getting to know each other. That is key.
  • Anonymous
    True but why is there so many divorces if people marry in their early 20s? The romance of love and a big dream wedding I guess along with peer pressure. Do not marry until you are sure the guy has all of these qualities over a long period. No rush to marry anyway. :)
    • There's a lot if study into divorce, and it looks like premarital sex is the biggest risk factor for an unhappy marriage. Women feel like men aren't putting in enough effort. Social media leads to marital infidelity as well

      People are getting married later, and Millennials have a much lower divorce rate than our parents because we're less likely to get married unless we're really committed to someone

  • Anonymous
    I wouldn't
    most of you women are whores
  • Anonymous
    Interesting take...