Women often ask questions about their boyfriends, husbands, and prospective love interests: Does he love me? Does he want to marry me? Am I the only woman in his life? Is he serious about our relationship? Should I break up with him? Unfortunately, by the time a girl asks these question to anybody other than herself, the answer is almost always the harder decision to make. If we pay attention, we can notice the signs early on and either avoid even worse heartache with a bad relationship or learn to find better quality men
This is not comprehensive nor does it guarantee a man will treat you right. Men who want to cheat will cheat on women they love, and a man can be serious about marrying you, but also constantly abuse you. It is possible to love someone who isn't right for you, and those are the hardest relationships to end
Does he like you?
Most of the time you won't be able to tell how serious a guy is about you when you first meet because he doesn't know how serious he is about you because he doesn't know you yet. But a man who is serious in general will put more effort into getting to know you than one who only wants a casual relationship. Manipulative men may also come off as genuine to fool you into thinking they're better people, but manipulative behavior should never be tolerated in a healthy relationship
* The way you initially meet someone can affect the rest of your relationship. Most relationships that start through mutual friendships tend to work out the best. Online dating helps shy or busy people find common ground and interests before diving into a relationship. Couples who consume alcohol on their first date are 20% more likely to regret their relationships, so reconsider how well meeting a stranger in a crowded bar will end before jumping into bed with the first attractive stranger you run into. Initial interaction can spell disaster or success in many things
* If a man is interested in you, he will let you know. He will make is presence known to you and he will ask you out. If he is unsure about your interest in him, he will draw things out, but still keep in contact with you. A guy who ignores you for lengths of time or cancels plans to meet up is not serious about starting a relationship with you. If you feel like you're putting in more effort to go out or like he doesn't care, then he most likely doesn't
* Assume that every man who is interested in you wants to have sex with you. Sexual chemistry is extremely important in a romantic relationship as it inspires excitement, physical interaction, and keeps you up at night thinking about your new crush. But if a man focuses only on sexual chemistry, pushes you to sleep with him when you first get together, or highly emphasizes sexual overtones in jokes and conversation, he is probably more interested in sex than anything else. A man who wants to develop a serious relationship with a woman will respect her enough to wait until she is ready for sex
* Watch out for guys who "play the field." Nobody wants to date a cheater, so pay attention to the way he looks at other women, if he flirts in front of you or behind your back with other girls, if you've heard about him involvement with anybody else you go to school or work with. Online dating allows people to continue conversations with others while dating you, so discuss any open accounts. During the initial stages of dating, someone may be interested in more than one person, so it's important to be honest about intentions, and it's okay to set a time limit on when to make a decision. A man needs to make it clear that he only has eyes for you if he is serious about relationships
Does he love you?
Some relationships fall into place and others slowly build over time. Whether you fall head-over-heals or place one foot in front of the other, there is a fine line between a man who really loves you and one who loves being in a relationship...with you. More than one woman has wondered if the love her life is merely using her for his own self-satisfaction. When asking this question, be honest with yourself, don't defend his actions with excuses, and imagine what your future will look like if he never change
* A man who loves you will miss you when you're apart; he will be excited to see you when you reunite. When you embrace, his hug will feel comforting; when you part, his kiss goodbye will feel yearning. On the contrary, if your relationship is no different together than apart, then something is probably missing. Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to garnering your man's attention. If you feel like he is ignoring you, not spending enough time together, or apathetic when you're apart, then there is a high probability he doesn't really love you
* Physical affection is important for a relationship and a man who loves you will let you know with his actions towards you that he cherishes you. Frequent kisses, hugs, hand holding, gazing into your eyes, comforting when you're in distress are all things a man who loves you will do for you. A man who is distant may be distant for any number of reasons, so it's important to understand why. Withholding physical affection, especially after an argument, is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. Outright rejecting your physical affection (unless otherwise preoccupied or in emotional distress himself) is a sign that he doesn't love you or doesn't appreciate your company
*Planning your future at any stage in a relationship depends on many factors, especially when it comes to racial, cultural, societal, and biological factors, but it's important to be on the same page. Wanting to fool around before you settle down, worrying about a pre-nup or divorce, or not wanting to meet your partner's parents is a sign that one of you is more serious about your relationship than the other. A man who loves you will desire the same things out of your relationship that you do, a partner who deliberately denies you the next level in your relationship or resists letting his friends, family, and social media know you're an item isn't a partner you can live the rest of your life with
* Respect is the most important thing in a relationship. Without respect, one or both people will feel offended, unrequited, or like they're putting in more effort than the other. A man who loves you will respect you. A man who respects you will support your goals in life, take your opinions into account, enjoy activities you love, and treat you well--better than well. Abuse takes many forms of name-calling, gaslighting, sexual abuse, physical abuse, mental and emotional abuse, and social isolation, and a man who abuses you in any way does not love you, only the idea of you. Furthermore, someone who repeatedly cancels plans, allows other people to insult you, or thinks poorly of your goals and opinions is someone who does not respect or love you
* A man who loves you will make you feel secure in your relationship. Security looks like the woman and man who separate to hang out with their friends on a Saturday night, but relax and enjoy the night because each one understands the other will not betray their relationship. A man who loves you will not give you any reason to fear he would cheat on you. Insecurity in relationships looks like anxiety, fear, argumentation, abuse, secrecy, and uncontrollable anger. If a man intentionally puts you on edge or makes you feel insecure in your relationship, he does not love you
* Is he serious about the rest of his life? You'd be a fool to think you're the only thing in a man's life that he is serious about; a man who is serious about relationships is serious about work, family, life, religion, or whatever else requires responsibility from him. Men who stay out all night drinking and blowing cocaine up their noses are not serious about life and will not be serious about you. Marriage, children, and property ownership require a steady income, so a serious man will either maintain work or set up a plan, create goals, and attend higher education to secure a serious career. When a man does not take his own family seriously, he will not take your future family seriously either
Many an "I love you" has been said in vain. Men are more content in bad relationships than women (that's a scientific fact for anyone who was wondering if that's merely my uneducated opinion), so they will be more hesitant to break things off when things turn sour or they fall out of the honeymoon stage. When a romance dwindles or the honeymoon stage wears off, it takes strength to come to terms with a dead-end relationship. At this point, you both need to be honest with each other on whether you want to continue or if you've fallen out of love
Does he want to marry you?
Ten years into a relationship is a little late to decide whether you want to marry someone or not, but four months is alarmingly early; many women wonder if now is the right time to get married, but even more wonder if he is the right one to get married to. After years and professions of love, partners have to wonder what the next step is or whether they don't want to take the next step with each other. Throwing out years of your life and starting over is a terrifying idea, but sometimes the fear of staying in an unfulfilling relationship is worse. Marriage is the goal for many men and women, especially those who want children, so it is important to address whether your partner is as serious about marriage as you are before taking the leap of full commitment
* As outlined above, a man who loves you will be on the same page as you, so a man you are considering marrying should also be considering marrying you. At this point you should feel free to discuss all matter of ideas, fears, and desires with each other. A man who seems hesitant to agree with your desires or wants to wait longer than you is on a different page than you. As years pass and you share more experiences together, a man committed to you will desire to experience further stages of your relationship with you
* Discuss how you desire to live a daily routine, how to raise your children--if you even want children--and options of child care or someone staying at home, who takes care of the house such as cooking and cleaning, any trips you want to take, and any expectations or contentions. Someone who loves you will hear out your concerns and address any issues before blindly jumping into a marriage contract. But there are men who will dismiss your concerns against theirs, ignore your desires in pursuit of their own, or pressure you into doing something their way even after years of professing love for you, and those men do not take their relationships seriously. Address your compatibility and consider what compromises you can or will not concede to
* Is he content with your relationship? If your man would be content with your relationship not changing over the course of the next 5, 10, 30 years that can be a warning sign. If he would be content because your life together is fantastic, enthusiastic, and fulfilling, then he won't have a reason to avoid taking the next step with you. Chances are that if he is content with your relationship the way it is, he is not serious about a future with you. A lot of men are "happy" with cohabitation: somewhat reliable sex with someone you care at least somewhat about, but that, more often than not, leads to dissatisfaction down the line. A man who is serious about you will not be content with you--he will want further mutual commitment
* A man who is ready for marriage with prepare the rest of his life for you similarly to how a serious man in general would prepare his life for a serious relationship. People who love each other inspire each other to be their better selves and reach their fullest potential, so a man who loves you will provide for you in the best way he can. If you feel like your love stalled in your honeymoon stage and your man never grew up, he may not grow up to meet our expectations. A woman should marry a man who meets or succeeds her expectations, but she should never marry a man expecting him to change
Are you happy?
Lastly, and most importantly, ask yourself if you are happy. If a man loves you and is serious about you, no matter what stage your relationship is in, he will strive to achieve happiness--for you and himself. Pay attention to the way a man makes you feel to decide where your future lies. Regardless of disagreements and fights, if a man regularly or intentionally causes you unhappiness, stress, hate, or self-doubt, he does not love you and is not serious about you; if a man leaves you wondering where he stands about you, then you need to wonder about where you stand about him
If at all you wonder where your man stands, bring it up to him. In a serious, caring, loving relationship, you both should feel free to discuss your concerns. At times a simple clarification can mend a misunderstanding. Many men suck at sharing their feelings and would feel horrible if they thought you felt unloved when they in fact love you very deeply. Open communication will only help your relationship or understand better clarity on why it is failing