Charm School: Lesson One SHE-VALRY


Charm School: Lesson One


Charm School: Lesson One SHE-VALRY


Chivalry might not be all the way dead, but it sure is making room for SHE-VALRY. Girls today have a problem interacting or (flirting) with boys. These girls are so nervous and unsure of themselves that they might miss their chance to interact with a guy altogether. He's already left by the time they get the nerve built up to approach him. Time to learn the art of SHE-VALRY. Learn how to successfully approach a man without being a nervous wreck.

Charm School: Lesson One SHE-VALRY

Approaching The Guy

Being confident around the opposite sex even charming isn't easy, it takes thought, practice, and effort ladies. Let’s set the scene: You’re out with your girls at a bar. A guy catches your eye, but he’s not making a move towards you or showing interest. What do you do? Well you actually have several options.

Charm School: Lesson One SHE-VALRY

Be Bold

Firstly, you could go the bold route. Walk up to him, say hi, and start a conversation. It could be something simple like, “Hi, my name is ____. I saw you from across the bar and I wanted to come introduce myself.” You can start a conversation from there and see if you are truly interested in getting to know him, or if he's just fun to look from a distance but not really your type.

Charm School: Lesson One SHE-VALRY

Ask For Help

A sure fire way to approach him without being direct is to ask him for help in some way. You can ask him to help you with your drink or borrow a light if you’re smoking, where the bathroom is, I've even asked for directions before. This helps break the ice and you can initiate a conversation from there with him. Ask him anything a man's favorite subject ALWAYS is to talk about himself.

Charm School: Lesson One SHE-VALRY

Just Sit Down

Sit next to the guy you like and strike a conversation with a simple question like, “What are the best drinks to try here?” Ask context appropriate questions if you don’t want to come off as too flirty. Your body language is key too once you have sit beside him. Cross your legs towards him not away and be sure to smile while making eye contact at him. KEEP YOUR PHONE DOWN and try to avoid awkward quiet moments.

Charm School: Lesson One SHE-VALRY

Come With Compliments

Anyone loves being complemented including men. Say something like, " I'm sorry if I was staring at you from over there, but you are so handsome I just couldn't help myself. Even say something like, " Wow what sport do you play? You're in such good shape I assumed you were some type of athlete." Ask where he went to school and then say," Wow you must be really smart."

Charm School: Lesson One SHE-VALRY

Go Hard

This one is for the bold ones. This is more the (wowgirl) confident girl approach. Buy him a drink or even a soda. Be sure to set at the end of the bar or table so you are more accessible to him and so he can see you clearly. Once the bartender tells him you have bought him a drink and he looks up to see you stand-up, smile, look at your body up and down (this shows an offering) and begin walking over to him.

Charm School: Lesson One SHE-VALRY

Dont Wait For Him To Approach You!!!

You might be waiting for ever..! Some women expect the man to approach them all the time. In a perfect world the man would always come to the female. In the real world sorry, but it doesn't always happen that way.

Charm School: Lesson One SHE-VALRY

Some guys are shy and some are just clueless. He might not even notice you at all, or all the signs you're trying to give him that you are interested in him. So be confident, be proud, and please don't be shy. Remember charm, confidence, and technique " SHE-VALRY" is everything when it comes to approaching guys.

Charm School: Lesson One SHE-VALRY

Thanks for Reading Everyone...


Charm School: Lesson One SHE-VALRY
Add Opinion

Most Helpful Girls

  • SydneySentinel
    Great writing, my friend! Clever term, this She-valry.

    This is soooo not me though. Maybe it's that I have negative ideas about possibly meeting someone at a bar... or flirting in general.
    -I don't like the "asking for help" because I feel like it's playing dumb.
    -I don't like giving compliments that unless they are completely genuine. Complimenting someone's looks only seems to make them think you're interested in just the physical.
    -The Wowgirl move is brilliant. Maybe I'm misinterpreting it but the "shows an offering" part makes me think this is for more of a physical connection only?

    I can see this being helpful (for soneone like me) under different situational circumstances. But maybe I've been doing it wrong all along! Lol

    One thing I wonder if you could update is a suggestion about how to approach when someone is with their friends.

    Nice writing!
    Is this still revelant?
    • ChiTown33

      You're right on the first 2 points. Playing dumb and giving compliments that aren't genuine are foolish for women to do because if a guy figures it out the only thing you've showed him is you're decietful.
      However as far as guys go i don't think complimenting a guys looks makes him think you're just interested in the physical (unless you keep doing it).
      When you think about it looks are typically where it starts. Unless maybe it was their karaoke, dancing, loud boisterous laugh or being animated that may have caught your attention.

    • Maybe not as extreme as deceit but just a certain element of "fakeness", which is another reason I don't like flirting or flirty behaviors.

      Oh I'd much rather fall for a boisterous laugh or some karaoke hijinks! But there does has to be some level of attraction, yes.

    • I don't do hijinks when I do karaoke. I take karaoke seriously.

    • Show All
  • SammyGurl
    Some really good points, works anywhere ot just a club or bar! I've heard more than one guy say something to the effect that a confident woman is a sexy woman!!
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Guys

  • loveslongnails
    Am I allowed to express that I'm either waaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy out of touch, or this is waaayyyyy over thought. Guys are NOT difficult. They are the simple, one celled organisms with little more than 2 things on their mind. Women don't have to be "bold" to talk to a guy, or get his attention. All you have to do is say "hello" and smile pretty. That's it.
    Is this still revelant?
    • be nice she has put a lot of work into this

    • @justcurious2019 I'm a big wowgirl fan. I'm always nice to wowgirl, and she appreciates a heartfelt response whether you agree with her take or not. I know she puts her heart into these posts, that's why I like her. As I stated, maybe I'm WAY out of touch. Maybe her experiences are different, but I believe what I said about guys.

    • @justcurious2019 that was very sweet and I appreciate it very much but he is harmless @loveslongnails we are friends his delivery is just very blunt sometimes but he does say good things as well.

    • Show All
  • Those are great tips!

    Would love to hear how many women actually believe that approaching a guy is a NO NO!

    If you want the right man for you it's a YES YES !

    Thanks for sharing!
    Is this still revelant?
    • Thanks for the advice towards it

    • dragrat

      My main problem with approaching a guy is it’s a huge turnoff. I feel if a guy approaches me it means there was something about me specifically that he liked and that makes me feel desired which makes me feel desire whereas if I have to approach the guy and he goes along with it I feel like he could not even be into me but I was just the best option at the time which makes me feel very unspecial and not desirable and that kills my interest in the guy. It’s a problem though bc the guys that hit on me I’m never attracted to 😩

    • dragrat

      Sorry wasn’t trying to contradict myself. If a guy hits on me and I’m not attracted to him it won’t make me want him. I already have to be somewhat into him. This did happen to me twice but one of them took my number and never called and the other one had a girlfriend and was just kind of flirting/teasing

    • Show All

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

  • 1. "A sure fire way to approach him without being direct is to ask him for help in some way." Absolutely! Guys love to be helpful and it distracts the shy guys from the fact that you are expressing an interest in him.

    2. "Ask him anything a man's favorite subject ALWAYS is to talk about himself." Guys DO like to talk about themselves but, most of all, they want to talk about something that demonstrates their competence. (Quite interestingly, today, #CoachTAnthony posted that women's favorite topic is to talk about themselves!) Men love to prove that they are the master of some small part of the universe. Of course, if his topic is deer hunting or fishing, you may not care to have extended discussion on those topics. If he is a motorhead, he would love to talk about cars for hours.

    3. "KEEP YOUR PHONE DOWN and try to avoid awkward quiet moments." Much more than an occasional glance at your phone will be the kiss of death with many guys!

    I very much like that you are giving practical suggestions to implement your pointers!

  • Unit1
    How to successfully NOT be a single woman.
    This stuff is for women with ovaries

    I'm Not sure how to feel about the buying a drink part but i like to not make a big deal out of things. If it's there, it's there. Cool. Next time will be my turn.
    • Buy you any drink you want 😀

    • Unit1

      With or without a drink, a woman making the first move will always be considered by me as a potential dating partner there and then. The only thing, that would make me reject her is if she's very ugly (and by that I mean obese!) or if she's a single mother looking for a provider boyfriend.

      Worry not. I find 80% of women attractive by default, so women have all the chances.

    • Oh darling I'm top tier no worries.

    • Show All
  • FatherJack
    One huge advantage for women , is that they will never receive a harsh " FUCK OFF CREEP !! " type rejection , I have seen plenty of those dished out at men , some deserved it , but most were approaching respectfully. The only downside is that female attention is so rare for the vast majority of men , is that many men may be suspicious of your motives.
    • I'm kinda creepy yeah but I'm not broke so let them wonder

    • dragrat

      This never crossed my mind. What motives do you think guys may assume a girl has if she approaches him?

    • We'll think you're just looking for dick.

    • Show All
  • R4vedave
    Absolutely amazing take. One of the first I've fully read in quite a while. Well thought out, and extremely accurate. I'd be extremely receptive to these approaches, definitely.
  • BlackRoseFairy
    You never fail to amaze me! The "Go Hard" way especially... Wow! Girl you have some guts... I admire that!
    Thanks for sharing the knowledge! 😊
  • Frankiealaplaaja
    "Ask a guy what the best drinks are around here"?
    Even if a guy is interested, he's likely to say: "Whud? Oh I dunno, I drink beer."
    How will you handle that?
    Body language is not a language most (especially the younger ones) speak at all. Chances are he won't even notice.

    Don't mean to poke holes in your 'man-ual', because it's well written and witty.
    But some guys are just too 'tuned out', especially after a beer or two, and really just need their hunters to be blunt. So by no means full proof.

    Maybe it just needs another chapter.
    "Doubling down on dumb defenses" (I don;t know: shooting from the hip here...)
    If he seems interested but you still feel you're not getting anywhere, are starting to feel some frustration with him, you could be dealing with a prey that needs the blunt approach.
    You can turn your own frustration into a source of power you wouldn't otherwise have. Ask him: "do you even like girls?"
    That will get his full attention.
    "Oh so you do, huh? Well I'm right here. What are you gonna do about it?"
    Then there's tree things that can happen:

    -If he retreats, he's not worth your time after all
    -He'll kiss you then and there
    -If he still doesn't make his move, he's too shocked to act, in which case you can kiss him right there and then. And watch yourself go from being shy to as bold as Jeanne 'd Arc in one night (hooray for the power of frustration)

    (feel free to do with it as you please)
  • Hans222
    I like occasional chivalry. Not constant of course, that can be embarrassing :o
  • BluesheepOwl
    This was written about me. Though if I am interested, I won't even bother to approach him. I'll just admire him
    • @BluesheepOwl you should have pick up artist skills above most. And you know why same reason as me😀

    • Yeah 😆 but I think our artist skills are picking up on red flags faster lol

    • Mines just all around picking I guess. 😀 But yes I'd say you're right mostly.

  • DeeDeeDeVour
    Good points but why are most (if not all) of your "scenes" set in a bar or club?
    • Laziness honestly different settings would be a whole new set of guidelines for each

  • Jamie05rhs
    If you ask me to light your cigarette and enable your addiction and help you get cancer, you just blew your chances completely.
    • Also, don't worry about coming across as "too flirty.". "Too flirty" isn't a thing.

    • Slutty

    • That's a thing

    • Show All
    There should be more women like you. I love the confidence. I'm proud to call you my friend. 😎
  • ManOnFire
    Women don't approach/make the first move because they believe they don't have to, that a guy will always come to them. I don't think most women are necessarily nervous about it, they are just arrogant about the fact that they shouldn't ever have to do it. I personally do make the first move, but I'm not as adverse to a woman doing it as I once was. Either or is fine.
  • ThisDudeHere
    This is basically just male flirting advice given to women.
  • It saddens me knowing that there are chicks out there who believe they shouldn't come up to the guy. They miss out on too much lol
  • JackSmy
    A lot of those are really good, and they work well for some guys!
    I like the ones that I meet in places when we share interests, and she approaches me with something she 'noticed' and giving away that she was watching me, and liked what she saw.
    For me, the best intro, maybe in some place, say a cooking class, is: "I noticed that you chose the fresh parsley, and you did something different with the Basil leaves. I'm [name] and I just thought it would be a great combination and was hoping you could show me how you cut the Basil, and why"
    Complex premise, maybe, but it is not at all 'obvious' and opens the door to talk, and shows an interest in cooking, and that she was watching me, and maybe interested in me! I like the subtle, the real-life kind of non-pick-up kinds of ways of meeting!
    I can always come back with something about noticing her too, or offering to show her, in a very personal way, so she won't cut her fingers. . .
  • Dchrls78104
    Interesting take. In my country not many women approach guys they like, and, for personal safety as a man, I seldom if ever approach girls. Maybe the girls here could learn from this.
  • Exorcist_Rampage
    My favorite subject is to talk about the Holy Ghost and sports, not about myself.

    Men or women can conquer chivalry and no guarantee the opposite sex will appreciate the other‘s 1st move.

  • ShadowofRegret
    One thing I like about your takes, you put a lot of thought into it and give it depth.

    Good take.
  • bamesjond0069
    Personally i find it a turn off it a girl did something like this. Id rather she just make herself approachable ie not covered in makeup and not grumpy looking.

    Makeup scares dudes away. Then if she doesn't make eye contact and smile i think she isn't interested. Shit she could even wink or blow a kiss if she wants to be aggressive but if she comes up to me i think she's defective in some way. I just dont understand why a woman would approach a man.
  • humanearth
    When I was younger like very early 20s. I was the clueless, was blinded to girls flirts and top it off shy.

    So when you have both playing the same game. You both get Nothing.

    I would say when I got older. I got bolder and did some of the same things your mentioned here.

    I would be so bold. I would walk on the dance floor and start dancing. And I know girls like dancing. So I see a girl dancing along. I made my move.

    I also did hey can you help me out with sonething bit. Oh yeah it works for men to.

    Buy a girl a drink. That works too. Thats was my buddies play. Me when I was younger I was too poor to buy a drink for someone. Hell I hardly had enough money for myself.

    But all in all. All these tips are classics.

    There is one thing you mentioned that when I was dating. Was the cellphone distraction. Cellphones weren't that popular yet. Only the rich had them or the wanna be somebody had one. Other then that most didn't have one.
  • pooper89
    "stand-up, smile, look at your body up and down"

    I'm confused on this one. How do you look at your own body? You mean look down?
  • Kayla45
    Oh my, how very charming! I actually read the myTake too and not just here for the exper points.
  • justcurious2019
    amazing my take i'm sure this will help out a lot of girls for years to come
  • Juxtapose
    I agree with this. A woman showing initiative can go a really long way.
  • OfDeath
    I knew a girl who used to actually do the book thing
  • smartrider
    Either of you want to approach or be approached give signs of interest!
    I find that many girls that used to like in school didn't give the slightest impression of what they felt.
  • nice post
  • Sevenpointfive
    is this copypasta from seventeen magazine?
  • AustinMan
    Some pretty good advice...
  • WhiteShoulder
    Magnificent ❤️
  • GoodGuyBreakingBad
    Very well done. Thanks for sharing your MyTake :)
  • Arielbubble
    Ah, i got it now. Thank you
  • just_legit1998
    Great take. I agree with this shevalry thing!
  • Joker_
    Interesting myTake
  • NickiB
    This is a great mytake.
  • MensBest
  • 1828avaava1828
    Woot woot Awesome lesson Wowz!! More!!