2 mo

How Do you Turn Down a Boy?

How Do you Turn Down a Boy?

"There's a boy at school, and he's really weird. Nobody really likes him. He makes weird snorting noises. I always have to sit next to him. Today he asked me out. I don't want to hurt his feelings, What do I do? - Scared to Say No!

Unless you've got a heart like a turnip, turning somebody down isn't easy to do. But you don't want to get stuck in a relationship that makes you unhappy just because you didn't have the nerve to speak up for yourself either. It's got to be said. So say it right.

Use your manners:

You can turn down a boy's invitation the way you'd turn down any other invitation. Give him your attention and use polite words: "I'm sorry, but I'm busy after school."

Be honest, direct, and firm:

"No, I'm sorry. You're nice guy, but I don't want to be your girlfriend" is better than "Uh, I don't know, I don't think so right now, you know, maybe. Sorry" You don't want to leave him confused. Don't say you want to be friends unless you do.

You owe a boy respect- you don't owe him yes:

If a boy keeps hanging around when you wish he wouldn't, talk to him with stronger language: "I've said no, and you should accept that. You are embarrassing me and bullying me. I don't like it. You have to stop.

How Do you Turn Down a Boy?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • kwb85
    Not just boys. ANYONE. Men, Women, we all have feelings and they all will get hurt if someone turns you down. Turning down a guy has the same aftertaste like vice-versa.

    But I ask myself, is there not a possibility to learn a lot of valueable lessons in these situations? I have received and given my share of turn-downs. When I got turned down, I felt terrible. When I had to turn someone down, I felt terrible.

    What I learned out of these experiences:

    If I get turned down:
    "Damn, hurts like hell! But I will get over it. It's not the end of the world. Live life and let go of that person." (easier said than done, but it IS possible). Wounds heel - end of story.

    If I have to turn someone down:
    I would acknowledge the persons guts to tell me honestly how she felt towards me. I would express my appreciation by thanking the person for her kind words. I then would tell the person, since she was honest with me, that I will be honest with her and that I do not feel the same way and that I hope she can accept that. I would also point out, that I have no intention what so ever to hurt her feelings (witch will be hurt a little, but that's just how it is). After that I would slowly but surely end the conversation in a polite manner, so that she can digest my decision.
    Is this still revelant?
  • MonkeyGM
    Be direct and straightforward. It will definitely hurt him but better than not giving him and him thinking you might change your mind. I went through something like that when she didn't give me an answer. It was really painful and an honest and direct answer would have been better
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Most Helpful Girls

  • NurseStacy
    Being direct and firm may hurt, but trust me you are helping him more than you think.
    You are helping him deal with the fact that he won’t always hear the answers he wants from girls.
    Learning to accept rejection helps to grow and develop in life.
    Is this still revelant?
  • KristaGrym
    Poor guy... he is suffering bullying and you are more worried to say no to his date...
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • ConnorH
    I recommend just saying "I appreciate the courage it took to ask me out, but I'm sorry to tell you that I don't think of you the same way"
  • KaraMcNulty
    There are plenty of ways to be compassionate, kind and save a person from being hurt.
    You only have to explain that you're not attracted to them, but you wish them the very best and hope they find someone who is right for them.

    They can't force you to be with them and if you are nice enough, they usually handle it well.
    Of course, being rude, aggressive or telling the person there's something wrong with them. Or even saying why you don't like them isn't very nice and it only makes you look bad in the end. If you want them to feel bad about you, as well as being hurt, then this would surely guarantee it.

    So be nice, respectful and don't ever be afraid to say how you are feeling.
    Then more you linger, the more you give off the impression there is a chance with you, and you don't want to be the person leading someone on.
  • ThorJunior19287
    Just tell him thank you, your so nice I appreciate it. I already have a guy I like though. I'm really falling for him!
    • That didn't happen to me it was just an example, but thank you for your input.

    • So, lie, basically?
      Not something I'd do, but then we all have our ways of doing things.
      I much prefer to be upfront, honest and polite about it.

  • 24PaR906
    well i am in the same position i like this boy as a friend and he wants to be more than that so i just told him we needed to just be friends and you should try it it might help
    • It is just an example, but if that does happen to me I will use your advice.

  • comicstudio
    Don't drag it on for months, it's gonna be painful for you and it's gonna be messy for him. Rip the bandaid 😅 it's gonna feel better in the long run