How to Reject a Guy Without Hurting His Feelings

So, you're walking through campus, waiting for your next class, chilling at the mall, wherever. You make eye contact with a male who's fast approaching. You immediately know what he's looking for. The illusive phone number. Maybe he's not your type, or maybe you're just not in a place in life where you can handle a relationship. So, you already know in your head that you're going to turn him down. But you also know that guys are actually pretty sensitive beings and you don't want to crush his ego or hurt his feelings by saying "Nope." Well girlfriend, here's a few things to say (and a few bonus of what NOT to say) in this situation where no one gets hurt and you don't have to give him your number. Read on. (These have been approved by my guy friends)

How to Reject a Guy Without Hurting His Feelings

1. Tell him "I'm really sorry, but my mom says I'm not allowed to give boys my number" or "I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to date."

These work every time because in his mind he's like "hm yeah I don't want to get involved with something like this anyway" "She must be underage" and it also doesn't make him feel rejected because there's the possibility in his mind that you "would've if you could've"

How to Reject a Guy Without Hurting His Feelings

2. "I don't give out my number to people but you can have my email and we can chat there."

Guys will immediately cringe and be like nah.

How to Reject a Guy Without Hurting His Feelings

3. Put on a really annoying fake voice and yes, talk valley girl.

He will back off faster than a speeding bullet. The whole point is to make him think it was his idea not to pursue you, so you don't have to deal with him and he doesn't feel rejected. You've gotta do whatchu gotta do...

How to Reject a Guy Without Hurting His Feelings

4. Use a guy friend to lean on.

If you see that interested fellow on his way, lean on/playfully touch/hold hands with your platonic guy friend. He will swing a U-turn and be on his way. WARNING (Make sure u ok it with your guy friend before hand or things could get weird)

How to Reject a Guy Without Hurting His Feelings

5. Bathroom break!

You see him coming, it's time for you to GET OUT. Run stand in the ladies room for a few mins till he moves on his way. Unless he waits for you, in that case enlist the help of a friend to divert attention from the bathroom door so you can escape.

How to Reject a Guy Without Hurting His Feelings

6. Phone call!!!

Your phone is buzzing, right? No? Doesn't matter. Pick it up and start having a one way conversation with your phone. If he waits, OH NO! The call is important. Time to go find some privacy...

Now here's what you shouldn't do...

1. Don't give him a fake number.

That's just mean. He will figure out you played him when he texts the number and some random dude responds. That hurts.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • 7. I only date women.

    8. I'm engaged.

    9. "I really appreciate your interest and I wish I could but I have some physical problems and I could never satisfy a guy."

    10. "I'm waiting for my dad. You'll need to ask him before I can give you my number."

    11. "I'm sorry. It's not your fault, but you look just like a guy that molested me at a party last year after he slipped me a roofie."

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Most Helpful Girl

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What Guys Said 58

  • As a guy, I think some of these are terrible ideas. I've also had girls reject me in terrible ways.

    If you want to reject me without hurting my feelings, this is what you must do:

    1) Be clear. Don't hide, don't run away, don't ignore me. I will keep approaching you until I do get the opportunity to ask you out, so hiding just prolongs the inevitable; you'll be wasting his time, and you'll be wasting your time. What you should do, is walk right up to me when I approach, and tell me that you're not interested in dating me.

    2) Reaffirm me. Find something you appreciate about me, and let me know that I still have value in your eyes, even if it's not as a romantic partner. Some of my best friends are girls who rejected me in a kind way, which then turned into a platonic friendship.

    3) Don't lie. If I asked you out, I probably already asked your friends if you're dating. If you are dating someone already, I won't ask you out. If you are not dating and say that you are, I'm going to be offended that you couldn't tell me the truth.

    If you're clear enough, the guy won't ever ask you out again; and if you're kind enough, you'll have done it without him hating you.

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  • The effort you should put into rejecting a guy should reflect the effort he put into getting to know you.

    A guy just walks up and asks for your number? Just say, no thanks.
    He didn't put any effort in, why should you?

    A guy that's been chatting with you for weeks finally decides to ask you out, well, time to let him down gently.

    A guy is being a jerk and doesn't respect you saying no, then time to break out the snarky gun and let him have it.

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  • Being a man means facing and coping with relentless rejection. Don't worry about him. The courteous thing to do is to save everybody's time and to be quick to the point:

    "Sorry not interested"
    "I'll never want a relationship with you"
    "I do not find you attractive"
    "I'll never sleep with you"

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  • That was pathetic, even dogs reject better than that.
    p.fod4.com/.../1ttafrdSV6wt6jjIuRzw_k12.gif

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  • So pretty much lie and avoid the situation so that you don't have to be assertive?

    Not great advice, sorry.

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  • I find this kinda sad. Like yeah, you don't have to be rude, but guys should just respect a simple "Sorry, I'm not interested". Women shouldn't have to come up with these elaborate ways to get out of giving you their number. You approached someone asking for personal contact info, you need to be ready to hear the word "No" without taking it as a blow to your ego.

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  • Or you can just say you aren't interested. These guys aren't children, they are adults and you might as well treat them like adults. A few words isn't going to scar them for life.

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    • Well said... its a darn shame they want us to be men, yet treat us like children.

  • How old are you, 12 ... ?

    It can't be THAT difficult to say "No sorry".

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  • This mytake is written for girls who dont want to feel bad about rejecting a guy, it was never about the guys feelings.

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  • When girls said to me 'fuck off, you freak' that usually worked pretty well.
    Australian females tend to be more direct than most.
    Now that I am in an age demographic in which males have the upper hand, I am much kinder toward the women whom I reject.

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    • You shouldn't be. You should twist the knife as hard as you can.

      I've got buddies from Australia, and I've gotten along well with every Aussie bloke I've met. You guys got a bum deal every which way. American women are horrible, but Aussie twats are so much worse, and the laws suck worse for men too.

  • I would go with mail. Actually, it would be preferred. Mail is better than SMS.
    During that fake phone call, what if your phone actually start ringing? :-D Seriously.
    OK. I would like to add something on this list. It would be, of course, the illusive number 0: just tell him, that you are not interested of anything. Plain, honest, simple. Don’t explain anything else, if you don’t want. Be direct, don’t play this…game, don’t give hints.

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    • Yeah, I'd prefer e-mail also.
      Gives me the chance to craft it correctly instead of stumbling through asking someone out over a phone call.

    • @Vyxzuw Yeah, exactly. It's better.

  • More like "How to Reject a Guy With Bullshit Lies He'll See Right Through And Let Him Know You Don't Respect Him As A Person Enough To Tell Him The Truth".

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  • this is actually good a few could backfire though like 3 and 5 if he sees you run as he aproaches he will either think that your scared of him or he will know its a rejection method with option 3 he could be weird like he either thinks your really into him in which case you have just sped up the advancement of him aproaching you to stage 2 or he could be into that in which cases he likes you even more so it will be confusing if you make up an excuse as he thinks he's making progress.

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  • or you can just say

    'If you like and respect me! then understand this that currently its a no,
    but give me your number if scenario changes i will let you know'

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  • Sarah-You're very wrong. He doesn't owe her friendship. She doesn't have to date him. I know that it's proper to walk away and not have contact when you've been rejected. Your remark is what I'd expect out little smart ass twerps like you. The Humane Society has plenty of cats. You're going to need them.

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  • You can't. So just end it quickly and move on. In the old days, men liked certainty. The men in of this generation, if they don't appreciate it, they must be learn to.

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  • It's best to be honest with him than lying to him and he needs to be a man to accept that and move on with his life

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  • Every time I think maybe women ARE capable of honesty, all it takes is a quick visit to this site to remind me of the truth.

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  • Just give me the honest truth. Women do soft rejections for themselves and themselves only. So that they dont have to feel bad about it. All i want is the truth.

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  • I'd rather she gave me oral after to soften the blow.

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  • You can do whatever you want. If you reject someone he or she will be hurt. No matter what you say, what's he or she is gonna hear is "I don't like you" and that's it.
    The only important part is to be honest without being mean.

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  • I think there are always some hurt feelings when someone rejects you, so i would like the girl to be straight up and told me rather than using some these "non hurtful" advices..

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  • No. Just say the truth. It's better a hurtful truth than a smooth lie.

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  • Wow you must be a pretty good liar. Lol

    How about telling him you're not interested in a nice way? If he gets his little feelings hurt then to bad.

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  • Actually, you don't spare his feelings, you spare yourself seeing him being hurt. But good try, you show potential for a child, but when you get older you will see things a bit differently.

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  • Even it hurts him, be CLEAR. You can still be nice but above all, don't let him hope. Eventually tell him you have personal reasons , not to date.

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  • Ide rather just here the blunt truth instead. I can relate to the tryth instesd of a fake line or story , because that tells me you lie.

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  • Tell ME the truth please. Yes, it might sting (for both) at first, but it's easier than getting a "technical rejection."

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  • She gives you her number but then she gives you the "run around" and keeps saying she will let you know that she is too busy every time.
    Is she actually busy or what?
    LOL.

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  • You can say no and still be friends, honesty is the key word.

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    • Why be friends with a girl who rejects him? He owes her nothing. Not a GODDAMN thing !

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What Girls Said 24

  • "These work every time because in his mind he's like "hm yeah I don't want to get involved with something like this anyway" "She must be underage" and it also doesn't make him feel rejected because there's the possibility in his mind that you "would've if you could've". Not true at all. They will get pissed and claim why are you listening to your parents, blah, blah. I had this done to me multiple times. They don't care. It is the special few who would respect you. But not because you're underage, but because you're listening to somebody who that person doesn't respect as the authority figure of your life. Especially mainly if you live with them and you're under 18.

    No. I'm sorry, everything that you're saying is very immature, and that is enough to make any guy not want to date you while they rumor about you to the guys you are interested in. You are still going to hurt them regardless if they really like you. If they act like jerkwads then you don't owe them an answer. The answer is still a no. Be real and honest with them, even if brutally honest if must. But if you want to be friends with them, be real and honest about it. If they don't, then you know the real reason why they want to be with you.

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  • Rejection is going to hurt no matter what, it's best to just tell him the truth. If you lie, some guys will keep coming back and annoying you. Just get it over the first time.

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  • Just tell him you're not interested. Doing all that shit and not telling him the truth will hurt his feelings.

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  • I read this because I thought it may be an interesting article but instead it turned out to be something that sounds like a 14 year old wrote it.

    The only good point you made was to not give out a fake number, other than that the others are ridiculous. This is so immature, just be upfront and tell him you're not interested in him or in dating.

    Just tell the truth!!!

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  • Yeah I said once My dad does not approve me messing with guys" I was like 43 at that time. It hepled tho. He froze on spot unableto comprehand

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  • Or, in one simple step, explain exactly why you are breaking up with him and never date him again. I've met these guys before and emotion is inexistent to them.

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  • This is why I tell guys to not do cold approaches. It's annoying, awkward, and I have to muster up the energy to get out of the situation.

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  • Hand him one of the pamphlets those Christians hand out randomly. See how fast he runs.

    Tbh tho, you don't need to worry about hurting a dudes feelings because you said no. If the guy had two brain cells to rub together, he'd understand. He took a risk asking you, you said no, welp gg dude, time to move on. If he gets upset - that's not your problem. Who tf gets upset when a girl says no to giving a stranger her phone number. Shit, if i asked a random dude for his number and he said no, i wouldn't be upset. It would make sense.

    Actually, i think if a girl gives a random stranger in a mall her personal number, no questions asked... that would be weirder.

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  • why sugar coat it though? he's putting himself out there.. why do his feelings matter?

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  • I feel like these were all kind of weird. If a guy hits on me I'll either act irritated or annoyed (which I probably will be) or just say 'no thanks'.

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  • or "That's really sweet/flattering/nice but I have a boyfriend"

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    • I'd say, "Fine, I'm not surprised, Call me if things change". Then turn, walk
      away and never, ever acknowledge her presence, Ghost her ass ! I've done
      this and most women can't take being ghosted or ignored. A guy is risking
      his ego and feelings to ask you out. You're not interested, Cool, no need to
      say yes when you're not interested. That said, don't get upset if he never speaks
      to you or acknowledges your presence, Guys are hurt when rejected. And you
      want him to be friends? My ass ! Dream on. If he's a good, strong man, he'll
      walk away and never look back. Or at some point you might become interested in him,
      Then he has every right to blow you off. And you can't blame him. I've seen this happen.

    • @Marinepilot possibly the most immature thing I've ever heard a 65yo man say. Sad.

  • I always just say that i am not ready to date yet...

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  • I prefer being honest and upfront

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  • Sorry, I like girls...

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  • Just say you're not looking to be in a relationship right now.

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  • I guess you didn't write this for people to take it seriously, but the point remains that, no matter what you do, more or less rejection always hurts.

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  • I just usually say I'm not ready for a relationship but that's a horrible idea.. they usually wait..

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    • Expect men to pry as to why that is. I'd say fine, walk away and completely ignore you.
      Fair is fair.

    • @Marinepilot that's what I'd want..

    • Ok. And I never ever spoke to girls who rejected me, Some changed their minds.
      And I'd say, "Why am I good enough and I wasn't when I first asked you out? " Which
      I know can be awkward for the girl. Sometimes I'd say, "You make me feel like Plan B.
      And I'm not Plan B". Or I found that after dating them, they weren't as special as I'd thought.

  • Those are avoidant tactics, be straightup and kill any false hope

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  • Lol I'm too old to pull the "not allow to date" in college.
    Tried it and the guy suggested i run off with him since apparently my mother is controlling... no thanks, I'll just keep saying "No sorry, I'm not looking to date. I wanna get closer to Jesus and focus on school. "

    Works like a charm and guys respect it. Some say "we could be friends" I tell em "I don't want any distractions"

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  • This is not applicable to me at all. A guy has never asked for my number before ever. )) ):

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    • But I do get looks sometimes but just not one guy has ever come up to me to ask for my number. lol so I can say I haven't ever really rejected a guy or guys before.

  • I agree with the rest of the gag-ers. He will see right through your lying and feel worse that you couldnt be straight up and tell him you're just not interested. I've done a few of these before and it didn't ward off the guy until I told him no. They'd tell me you should've just said that the first time rather than come up with some excuse or lie. Rejection is always going to hurt, no matter what. He'll live through it.

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  • Just tell him that you have a boyfriend. It's not that difficult.

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  • i will tell the truth

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  • You reject a guy, it'll hurt. Period

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