How To Clearly and Confidently Reject a Guy

Do you have a guy that you are not interested in that won't get the hint? It can be awkward if someone likes you and you don't like him back. You can take steps to show that you aren't interested, including being direct and telling him you don't reciprocate his feelings and using body language and other signals. Keep in mind that you can't change someone's feelings. He has a right to feel what he does — but he doesn't have a right to keep bothering you when you tell him to stop.

1. Tell him in person

One way to try to get him to stop liking you is to simply tell him that you're not interested in person. You don't need to be mean about it, just direct and straightforward. The next time you see him, bring it up with him to help ease his attentions. You could say, "John, you seem to be interested in me as a girlfriend. I wanted to let you know that I don't feel the same way."

2. By Text

How To Clearly and Confidently Reject a Guy

If you can't bring yourself to do it in person, you can always try a text or message. In some ways, it can be better, because it can help save his ego; however, he also might think you don't have enough respect for him to tell him in person. Think about whether he's more of a digital person or a person who likes to deal with things face-to-face to help make your decision about how to tell him. Once again, be direct but not mean. You could write, "John, please stop sending me texts. I'm not interested in you in the way you're interested in me."

3. Don't point out what's wrong with him

It can be tempting to explain why you don't like him. He may even ask why you don't like him; however, that can get nasty very quickly. It's best to just say that you're not interested in him romantically, and then leave it alone. For example, saying, "I don't like you because you're ugly," is not going to help the situation at all. Instead, say, "I just don't feel that way about you."

4. Be Confident

How To Clearly and Confidently Reject a Guy

If you're timid in your assertion that you're not interested, some guys may take that as an indication to work harder to get you to like them; however, if you are confident when you're telling him that you're not interested, that usually will work better to get a guy to back off. Speak in a clear, confident tone. Make sure you're standing tall or sitting up straight. Look him in the eye as you say it. Also, try not to make it into a question. That is, some people put an upward inflection on the end of a sentence, making it seem like a question rather than a statement. Keep your tone steady.

5. Don't Leave The Door Open

If you leave it open-ended, you're giving him a chance to hope for a relationship in the future. You don't want him to hold on to that possibility when you don't ever plan to date him in the future. Even as you're trying to not be mean, make sure you're closing the door firmly. For example, saying "You're a nice guy, and you have a lot of great qualities. You just need to be around me a little less," isn't very definitive. You can still start out similarly, but make sure you end on a strong note: "You're a nice guy, but I don't see us being together. I'm not interested in you in that way."

6. Don't Wait To Tell Him

The longer you wait, the harder the conversation is going to be. He'll have had more time to think about how much he likes you and wants to be with you, which means he may feel even more rejected than he would have if you'd told him earlier. Be kind and do it as soon as you can.

7. It Is Okay To Feel Nervous

Nobody likes rejecting other people, even if it's someone who's bothering you. You'll probably have a few butterflies in your stomach beforehand, and that's okay. Just acknowledging that you're nervous and that it is normal can help. Also, take a few deep breaths ahead of time to try to calm yourself down.

8. Be Prepared For Some Unhappiness

No matter how nice you are, he may get angry. Even if he doesn't get angry, he will likely still be sad. Try not to make it worse by getting defensive or arguing with him. If he feels like he needs to say something, let him say it. Then just smile and move on. Of course, you don't have to stand there and take it if he's cussing you out or saying mean things to you. Walk away if he does. If he starts getting violent, walk away, and call the police. Try to find a safe place to be.

9. Don't Engage

Once you've told him, try not to engage with him anymore, especially if he turns mean. If he's trying to send you texts and messages to figure out why you don't like him, just ignore him. Engaging with him won't change anything.

10. Use Your Body Language

How To Clearly and Confidently Reject a Guy

Body language says a lot about how you feel about someone. Showing the guy you don't like him through your body language can sometimes get him to back off, even if it takes him a while to get the hint. It may not make him stop liking you instantly, but he'll learn that he's not going to get anywhere with you. Turn your body away from him, as that's a physical indicator that you don't like him.
Also, cross your arms around him. You could also frown at him, as that will indicate you're not interested.

11. Avoid Being Overly Talkative

When you're attracted to someone, you tend to want to talk to him and tell stories about yourself; therefore, when you talk a lot to someone you don't like much, it may give him the wrong impression. If you're too talkative, it can seem like you have an interest in him. Keep any conversations you need to have with him short and to the point. If you see this person at school or work, make sure to only talk to him when necessary.

12. Skip The Giggles

Laughing at someone's jokes is a way to show him that you like him. If you're trying to get him to understand that he shouldn't be interested in you, skip laughing at his jokes. If you laugh and smile at him, he may take that as encouragement.

13. Make Yourself Scarce

In the same vein as avoiding being too talkative, making sure you're around him as little as possible can also get the message across. If you try to avoid seeing him or reject any plans he tries to make with you, he should eventually get the idea that you're not interested and he shouldn't stay interested in you.

14. Travel In Groups

How To Clearly and Confidently Reject a Guy

Sometimes, a way to avoid interacting with someone is to make sure you're not alone very often. Keep your friends close, or try to find a way to strike up a conversation with someone else if you see him coming. He should get the message you don't want to talk to him.

15. Block Him

If he's sending you too many messages or invading your digital space (after you've told him not to), block him. You have a right to not be harassed. Block his number on your phone, and block him on the social media platforms that you use. It should send a clear message that he needs to back out of your life.

16. Be Clear And Consistent About Your Boundaries

Push him away if he gets close, and firmly tell him "no." If you keep letting him back in and then pushing him away again, it's only going to muddy the waters. If you don't want him to be interested, make sure you are consistent in telling him "no."

No means no.

Hope this helps, thank you for reading! 😇


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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is pretty interesting, but I'd still much rather a girl tell me flat out why she's rejecting me. Forexample if she says I dont want to date you because you're too short and ugly, it will be a lot easier for me to get over it since I'll just think she's a shallow bitch and therefore not worth my time.
    Whereas if she lies and say, you're a really nice guy but I dont feel that way and all that, I'll think of her as a nice person who didn't want me, which would make it harder for me to get over it since the anger won't be there.

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    • This is a very interesting view.

    • Never thought it that way! Thanks for pointing it out! :)

    • But many women do not want this image of them being ugly on the inside. As society, we kind of burden women with these impossible types of standards. They can only be attracted to men for their personality or something silly like that. When obviously they are just as shallow as men are.

      A man can reject a woman because she doesn't turn him on. But a woman rejecting a man on the same basis is shunned.

      That's why I think many may make up a reason rather than just saying the truth like, "you are too short", "you are too ugly", "too dark", "too light", etc., etc.

      It is funny. I was shallow too when choosing my ex. I choose her because of her voice.

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What Guys Said 16

  • Where were you when my crush rejected me last week? LOL so I wouldn't have been mislead by her friendliness with me and laughing at my jokes.
    I think I handled the rejection pretty well I didn't show any emotion when she said no to me. And seconds later when we got into our classroom I just acted as it was nothing interacting with the other students laughing and joking with them like I usually do. I dressed as best as I could ironed my clothes and everything. Then sat outside the hall way outside the classroom then she always comes it little after after me and sits in the chairs beside me. I just blatantly asked her out I said "Will you go out with me on a date"? She looked down nervous looking red in the face for a few seconds then looked up at me and said "No I am sorry in a apologetic sound. Then she said "but hey at least you asked you know"? And I just nodded my head yes. Then she said "I mean I didn't even say anything you know" I didn't know what that part meant though when she said I didn't even say anything lol.
    "She said one more time "I am so sorry" And I just nodded my head up and down saying "It's okay don't worry about it."

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    • 25 and still in college or are you a grad student?

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    • Pretty sure she did lol

    • @Williamdhie I always come before her. She acted shocked when I asked her though.

  • my problem is not being rejected it happened in the past (sure iw as less attractive and not the same as today) and these women never knew me well and i never saw them giving me signs... however when a girl stares me often, looks deep into my eyes, smiles when she sees me, flat out acts or confesses that she likes me and they she rejects me thats when any normal sane man starts hating women and their ways, if you never gave signs of attraction its fine reject me but if you act like you have a crush on me and then say no to my advnaces iam sorry but you're a bitch and its not gonna end well.

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    • You are correct, it surely won't end up well if she shows interest even if she doesn't like the guy. Usually, that kind of girls like to play with guy's feelings for a while then they leave him. Because, they be like 'Let's see where it goes!'

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    • Divorced. But I hope to get married again. All I can do is wish you good luck.

      But honestly, if you make the right changes, you will meet women who are attractive, nice, and willing to date you.

    • @RolandCuthbert it happens
      thank you i do hope to meet such women
      my problem is that such women are always taken so there is no point in trying anyways

  • WOW... I can only imagine how much of a stuck up prude little thing you are... you rattled off SO many ways to reject a guy i started feeling for whomever ever approaches you even though i dont know if this is you speaking or some shit you read somewhere.
    This shit is dark. like, speaking as a guy, this is depressing shit. Probably worse because i know it all happens. but thanks for the info.
    I've already conquered at least half of this. This only works when being approached and the guy is nice enough to see it coming and the Bitch, yea i said it, just shoots him out without much of a chance.
    I have a counter for a lot of these... only works when the guy is forward, not when he decides to use other methods.
    Thanks for giving me the remainder of the list :)

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  • its good advice. the problem with a lot of girls is that they go from zero to 100. at first they will leave it open ended, or leave some hope, and that leads the guy on, he keeps trying, and once she has had it, she totally cusses him out. seems unnecessary. go 50 or 60 in the beginning, it will have a better result

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    • There's no good in keeping the doors open if you're not interested, but even if you close the doors, all the doors, some people still won't take no as the answer. XD

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    • sure , and yeah you are a very sweet person.

    • Thank you! ^_^

  • Mostly makes sense. Only one I disagree with is the text one.

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  • In other words guys what she's basically saying is if your not good looking and rich don't waste anytime.

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  • yeah, guys appreciate when you're not subtle. i get it because i'm pretty subtle too but it sucks cuz you're left with a million reasons why

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  • Makes sense. However, some people, women too won't take no for an answer.
    I've seen some ugly things happen after a simple rejection.

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  • No means yes.

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  • Just tell'im to FO. :)

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  • Kicking him in the crotch also helps

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  • yawn

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  • You sound like a pro at this.

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  • ok sounds fine

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  • I'm so glad i stopped asking women and decided to focus on my career. I feel free

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  • Want to go out with me?

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What Girls Said 3

  • I usually like to string them along for a little. They are usually good enough to get a few more dinners out of or a nice dress. Meh.

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  • i just tell it with the reason

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  • I agree with these points and hopefully it will help women who aren't sure how to turn down someone or how to handle it if a guy won't take no for an answer. I think people should be kind when they reject someone but at the same time, they need to be firm and confident enough to stand by that decision.

    You aren't obligated to date anyone and while it's understandable for a guy to be upset if he gets rejected, it's not okay for him to continue to pressure a girl because he thinks it will "change her mind." He should respect her decision and move on.

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