The Other Side Of The Dating Scene (Page 2)

[Jonny_]

I'd still prefer the female side of it, mainly because I'm very blunt and I don't care if people see me as a jerk, I'm not a jerk and if I ever had to explain why the other person is wrong it's easy to do... They think I'm a jerk because I wouldn't go out with them?! That's a guy who's butt hurt. I find the hardest thing for me is having confidence to talk to a girl first and especially to ask a girl out, dealing with awkward moment and being seen as a jerk wouldn't bother me in comparison.

[Confucius16]

If you (in general) like someone, and that someone feels that he/she will hurt your feelings, and doesn't automatically say "no", then that will make you feel like you have a chance. That will give hope, and the higher the hope, the greater the disappointment and sadness when everything fails.

[shadowscapes]

I agree with these points. I don't know why guys find the friend zone quite reviling. It's necessary becuase women aren't obligated to date you. It's a sign that says "talk to other women" or "get your act together". I've gotten friend zoned before, but I'm not angry or bitter about it. I just decide if we actually want to be friends or whether we should just both move on.

[lavalamp87]

" And I would say I am at least average. So when us girls get up early so we don't look horrific, everyday for years and get nothing from it, girls start to feel like crap. Kinda like the guys. (Wait what?! Guys and girls have similar feelings?! BS!" This right here made me LOL

[Anonymous]

1. That's all in your mind. 2. This doesn't tend to happen beyond the teen years. And no we don't view all female friends as potential girlfriends. 3. I think you're really exaggerating the effect you have on guys! The conversation typically goes like this: "What did she say?" "No." "OK better luck next time." 4. That insight is fair enough. 5. Well, then, you're getting approached five times more than almost every guy. I don't see how that's a negative.

Overall, one good point out of five!

[ChristopherLosRivera]

#1 is so damn true, I have friends who will try to hit on a girl or ask her out and when they get rejected they act like she is stuck up and that her standards must be sky-high or something. I don't really approach girls but I can understand if a girl says no, everyone has different tastes.

As for #5 I do try to compliment girls who may not seem like a traditional beauty even if I'm not really attracted to her. It just gets awkward when they think it means I want to f*** them or something.

[GymStatus]

Women still have it easier in the dating department lol. Free admission to clubs and stuff. Free food and drinks etc... There was a funny vid I saw about a woman who left home without her purse and got everything for free from guys and lived it up on a Saturday. From my experience, it is better for the woman to approach me. I see some that want me to chase them and I am like nope sorry only to leave some disappointed. If a woman has a right to be choosy then so should guys.

[serp777]

Wow these are such minor complaints. The guy who liked you was reasonably not super comfortable. It would be like if the guy you loved didn't want to be with you, but still wanted to be friends; you'd be uncomfortable too.

[harveykinkle]

#3 x a million!

This drives me crazy! If we don't like someone and say no people call us bitches and other mean things. Just because someone likes us doesn't mean we should give them a chance no matter how we feel!

[Confucius16]

I won't date until I finish college. I'm definitely not that kind of guy, although I do agree many guys are uncaring/unempathic.

I agree. I think it is better to say "no" than to be afraid of breaking a person's heart. Here is why.

[Taviguy]

I am actually in the initial stages of feeling indifferent and annoyed by women these days. It's a real dilemna...on the one hand I'm so captivated by lovely looking women, but on the flip side, they generally just seem to want the attention or acknowledgement. It's as if they "need" a guy's attention to bolster their image or "ego", and once they feel they've got it, they simply walk away, with a smug look on their face...no intetion or desire to really meet, just a selfish ego trip.

[loda1994]

this article is fun and somewhat realistic. normally I do it greek meaning each pays for his/her part of the date. about the approaching it actually depends on the physical appearance of the girl and guys don't get approached 5 times a year.

[6Paul11]

This might be your experience, but I have never once seen this happen ever in reality. Example: I have never seen a girl turn down a guy and truly appreciate the work that he put into the date.

[chuck101]

Another thing to consider in terms of gender inequality. At most, a guy might be worried about a girl telling him to f*** off while a girl might be worried if he's a psycho/ rapist/ creep.

[why_not_anonymous]

At most? How about false sexual harassment accusations (prove you didn't do it), getting her BF to beat you up, etc.

[Lone3Wolf]

How old are you? 5?!? I've seen/ met quite a few immature girls like you, but also kind, mature females. Girls like guys who don't care how much money he has to spend. True, that, but that doesn't mean you have to spread false rumors. It takes confidence for a male to approach a female and ask her for a date.

[mimon79]

Thats quite incisive Deathcabforcutie. Nobody can really tell what makes women tick, guess that's the unqiue quality about them. I do share your sentiments on your outlined points. It just depends on the individual involved. For some,the frienship approach works, while for others you may need to be direct...funny world

[ghost94]

You forget something that's really important to shy guys - girls almost NEVER make the first step. And some guys can't just "suck it up" and invite you, some people have social anxiety and such and other (like me) are just too damn shy to go for the direct "wanna hang out/date approach". I use the friend approach to see if we have common interests beforehand and whether she likes me, if not I get a good friend.

[Electric_Dreams]

Well written. Seemingly effortless, like it rolled off the tongue quite naturally. Insightful, a little eye opening and a little reassuring I suppose. Well said. I dig it.

[why-makoto-kun]

Bravo! This is exactly what I try to tell the dudes on here, but this is said so much better. Love it. Because of the reasons you stated above, I have often given guys a chance when I shouldn't have.

[diegoD]

Are you serious? boys just don't have to initiate things, they have to hold a good conversation, be funny, have good looks, be fit, have money, have a good social status. the girl has to to do nothings