I will preface by saying this is not my work, thanks to another GAGer, I just adjusted a few things.
This won’t be a very long take, just a GaG short lol. Just something I wanted to quickly share with a lot of women out there from what I’ve learned out of my own experiences. As the title says, be careful what you text a male. And it doesn’t matter who it is. Whether it’s a male friend, someone you’re flirting with or interested in, even a family member. Be careful what you text them.
And why should you be careful?
Because they will show it to other people. Yes, you must beware of that. And it honestly doesn’t matter what nature you sent the message, they will still show it. I have been the girl on both sides of the spectrum, with both male friends and ones I’ve flirted with: I’ve been the girl who’s had his texts screenshot by a male and shared with others, and I’ve also been the girl who’s had male friends show me texts they got from other girls. And, yes, I have also been the one to show or read aloud to someone a text message I got from a male or someone else, but that is not common for me, and when I’ve done that it’s usually been because it was some kind of good news I got from the other person and wanted to share it with others. If it was a bad or weird text, I will just talk about it casually with someone but not really show them.
Yes, I’m sure some girls do this as well, but men do this much, much more. I actually have rarely had any of my female buddies, co-workers, associations, or even my sister show me texts that they got from guys or anyone else. Occasionally a female buddy will show me screenshots of some debate he was having with someone else, but that’s really about it. Male friends of mine and exes, however, have shown me screenshots or shown me in person something that someone texted them many times. And as I said, it doesn’t matter in what nature you wrote it, if it is directly sexual, flirtatious, or even angry, emotional, etc. a male will still show that to his girlfriends, boyfriends, or beta simps that he keeps on hand just as a substitute girlfriends.
So why do men do this?
1. Simply because it’s their gossipy nature and they want to show people what you said especially if there are some juicy bits in your message.
2. Because they didn’t take you seriously on something you texted her, especially if you were emotional about it, so they thought it was funny and they want you to laugh at it too.
3. You said something very sexual, dirty, or flirtatious in your own way that she thought was “weird” or made hi, uncomfortable, so he shares it with others to privately humiliate you.
4. Something you said actually was very sweet and heartwarming to him and he felt like he wanted to show the world, but this is much rarer because men ever mostly want to show other people’s text messages to you if it puts the other person in a weird or negative light. Which is the biggest reason. Because it isn’t just other guys' messages they show to you or anyone else, but they will also show you messages they get from other females as well, especially if it’s some kind of drama or an argument.
Sometimes a man will show you someone’s texts claiming they don’t understand what they meant by such and such and want your advice/input - which sometimes they are being legit about - but in most cases they are not doing it for this reason, rather they’re trying to make you think ill, lesser, or weirded out by someone in their inbox so that the male can feel vindicated, validated, or like they have an ally (if it was a text argument), supported and comforted, and to humiliate the other person (if it was a “creepy” sexual text), or want you to eat popcorn with them (if it’s a gossipy message). They are basically looking for your agreement and support.
So, girls, that’s why I’m advising you to be careful about what you send a man in DMs. They are still reading it even if they don’t respond. And they are often sharing it. So don’t let something you say become any kind of joke he can laugh at or a tool to use. Don’t say everything in DM, but wait to say some things to her in person. I do this a lot with certain details of a discussion I have with a man. People need to remember that not everything is important to say in a text message, rather it is better to be said in person.
As I said, men are also showing you DMs they get from other men, but my focus here is on how you as a woman need to be hip and careful with what you text.
So from all of us here at the DHARMA Initiative, namaste, and good luck
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