College Life: Flirting is exhausting- so is it worth it?

[Anonymous]

I'm not a normally flirtatious girl. When I do flirt, I'm okay at it, but I find myself mentally exhausted afterwards because it just doesn't come naturally to me. Flirting is all okay and good (and necessary) but I just hate the stress and work that I have to put into it! This is serious, by the way, although I know some of you are rolling around laughing just reading this. So onto the situation:

There's a guy in one of my classes (a junior, and I'm a sophomore) who I think is completely attractive. I've been getting subtle signs that he could be interested in me, so I've been flirting with him a bit. Ordinarily with a guy, I'd become friends with him first and then let things happen more "naturally" (subtle, barely there flirting and then gauging interest levels), but I really think this guy is hot. He's also a nice guy, interested in the same things I am (even to having the same major). I would hate to play it slow, becoming friends and all, and have him think I'm not interested. Then he might "accept" that I don't like him and start looking more at other girls.

Yet flirting is just so troublesome. Lots of people can do it naturally, but for me it's like formulating a battle plan or something for the army. It takes too much time and effort to be worth it for some guy I just met. Should I befriend him, put on the moves, or am I way over-thinking it all?

[sassygal4]

You're way over thinking this. Firstly, you probably don't realize it, but you're probably flirting with him a bit. It's hard not to when you like someone. It doesn't have to be the most obvious things, but your body language alone speaks volumes. A smile, a subtle touch or glance, says it all. That's flirting. And those things you usually do naturally. Sure, you can do heavier flirting, but both of you have to be into it for that to work well.

That being said, I think I'm a huge flirt, but I take my cues from guys. If they flirt, I respond. If they're not really flirty, then I don't do it as much. Showing interest doesn't have to mean you're going to flirt. Some people are just not good at the heavy flirting stuff.