Is it wrong or weird to ask a female shop assistant out?

[Applefan1]

Please explain your answer?

Yes

No

Depends on the situation

Other please explain

Updates

+1 y

Am I putting her in an awkward situation where she has to say no as if she said yes she would look unprofessional to her boss but at the same time she has to try not to hurt me to.

[iNeedAUsernameNow]

Yes and no?

It depends on where she works and how often you go there and if you make smalltalk or just straight up ask her.

I personally think for it to be cool you'd have to be a regular. Say you get coffee from Books a Million every Tuesday and Thursday and you talk to the girl about whatever book you're reading then yeah I think that's fine, but like... if you go to a gas station and buy a pack of gum and an energy drink and you're like "wanna go out with me sometime?" that's straight up creepy.

You gotta establish ground and have a reason to be interested in her besides just her looks otherwise you look lame/creepy. Talk to her for 3-4 weeks here and there first about various random topics, PAY ATTENTION <--- and see if she actually seems interested, and if she does ask her out.

[Applefan1]

Well I am not a regular and it was the first time I have seen her but it also was not like just the pack of gum situation either. It was a clothing shop, she was helping me out with jeans, I was probably there for half an hour at least and our conversation was very friendly. She laughed a few times but I think she does that with everyone. I went to another shop to look at jeans as the shop she worked at did not have what I wanted. I then came back to the shop she worked at, I had told her I might be back to get the shirt and she helped me again. I then tried the shirt on and ended up buying it.

[Applefan1]

She did a reasonable amount of laughing while she was serving me but then I did hear her laughing with others to but she laughed probably a bit more.

[Applefan1]

I do PAY ATTENTION but I am often not quite sure if I should ask a girl out or not.

[iNeedAUsernameNow]

hmm.. you should check to see if she works on commission first (trust me I used to flirt so much when my paycheck counted on it).

but I'd go back and ask about getting a "gift for a female friend that has a birthday coming up" and see what she thinks.. that way you've got an excuse to talk to her. At the end of the conversation ask when her shift ends and if she wants to grab something to eat nearby after work (if she works in the mall suggest the food court).

Don't try to get a real date because she's pretty likely to say no because she probably gets asked out all the time (I know I did when I was an appliance saleswoman at least) but just try to get her out of the store with you so you can actually get to know her better without any pressure for her to make a sale or anything.

[iNeedAUsernameNow]

I didn't mean it as offensive to you personally when I said pay attention, but a lot of guys ignore obvious signs of distaste when they're interested in a woman (ex. crossed arms, turning her head away from you, making excuses to "check on things" so she doesn't have to spend much time with you, steering the conversation back to the main topic if you try to flirt with her, etc) which women give off as "do not disturb" signs

[Applefan1]

how do I find out if she works on commission. Wouldn't it be rude to ask her or is it not? I guess if I ask her if she wants to get something to eat she will just say either yes or no. Should I have asked her that today?

[Applefan1]

I think there are two types of women to be honest those that have guys not accept no for an answer and then those that are just strait out rude and nasty about it from the start which is not ok.

[iNeedAUsernameNow]

Yeah that is a pretty rude question to ask, but you can ask somebody that's not her and it won't affect the relationship you're trying to build. Or you could Google the store and see if they get commissioned benefits (I know stores like Rue21 get commission if they sell perfume and Nordstrom and Bloomingdales are commissioned as well)

but yes it would have been fine if you would have asked her today, but it's ok if you ask next time you go in too. Most retail employees are hungry after work anyways though and even if she has prior obligations eating only takes like 30 minutes or so (plus it's a free meal for them!) if you choose a spot near her job so that's always a safe date idea. That way you have the opportunity to get to know her and see if she likes you or not.

[Applefan1]

Oh ok like ask another shop assistant. I often wonder when your buying clothes if like shop assistants Espically of the other other gender to you, in my case females tell you you look better in what you have on than you really do or if you do get honest opinions.

[iNeedAUsernameNow]

I would lie if I worked on commission tbh... when I sold TVs I always told the guys they needed a 70" or 80" because it was "sexy" because they paid more money than the 40-60" TVs did.

Never trust commissioned salespeople. They aren't you're friends. They're there to make money and pay their bills. Not to get what's best for you.

[Applefan1]

Yeah I think with this particular girl I'll just let her go as I am not in my home city and will be returning to my home city again on Tuesday. Your info is not wasted though because you have helped me for the next girl I meet. 😀

[Applefan1]

And yes this is what I feel about commissioned sale people and have pretty much felt like this about them for a while. I wish I had a female friend that I could take shopping with me so I can have an honest females opinion. I mean I think I pick good clothes but I would also like a unbiased females opinion

[BellePepper]

It's very rude. Part of her job is to be polite and attentive. In some situations she may even be working on commission so it's even more important that she's kind to you. To take advantage of that in any way is very, very rude and puts her in a difficult position.

[Applefan1]

Hmmm... What if you say go to the shop often and you know each other and know each other by name sort of thing.

[Applefan1]

Or if she flirts

[BellePepper]

Still rude. Sorry.

[BellePepper]

It's part of her *job*. It's like if a waitress flirts with you. She's doing it because it's part of her job and good tips could mean the difference between two meals a day and three.

[Applefan1]

Mmm... Right you are the first one to think it is so rude. I guess I was always going to get a wide range of views on this. Mind due she also should not flirt with customers either. I was not rude to her in any way

[Applefan1]

Flirting with customers is also unprofessional

[BellePepper]

I know it's not what you want to hear, but it's part of her job to be nice. If flirting with customers makes them come back then it's totally part of her job.

[Applefan1]

Yes and no I don't entirely agree with you. There is a point where a waiter or shop assistant can be too flirty about it.

[Applefan1]

I see that as her also taking advantage to some extent.

[BellePepper]

It's not her fault that you have chosen to take her efforts at job security as anything more. Don't get upset with her for trying to make rent.

[Applefan1]

Like I said to some extent but she also should not over do it either that is all I am saying.

[Applefan1]

O my gosh when did I ever say it is her fault

[Applefan1]

It is not my fault either I have done nothing wrong just because I don't agree entirely with you

[Applefan1]

I also don't agree it is very very rude to ask her out in all cases either. Sounds like you are just playing a blame game blame me and she can do whatever she wants. Well she can't do what ever she wants her flirting has limits to o my gosh.

[Applefan1]

You are also accusing me of things I did not say or ever imply which is not cool.

[Klaatu51]

personally i'd rather avoid askin her during work coz i might be disturbin her if i do... so as a client it'd be a big "no"

if i was a co-worker... maybe suggestin her go for a dinner in a friendly way.. wouldn't be a bad idea probably

[Applefan1]

So as a customer I should aviod asking.

[Klaatu51]

It might pass as awkward in my opinion... unless if she gave any signs she likes u back

[Applefan1]

She was laughing a lot

[Applefan1]

But then she was laughing with other customers to

[Klaatu51]

so nothing special as it seems

[Applefan1]

Well she did laugh with me more but maybe that was because I was longer.

[Applefan1]

I was longer with her as aposed to actually laughing more

[Klaatu51]

so i guess she's laughin at anyone... in wot kind of shop does she work if u don't mind sharin?

[Applefan1]

Clothing shop

[Klaatu51]

i know they r smilin if they work on such shops so they'd pass as nice... but laughin? nope

[Applefan1]

Yeah she was laughing

[Klaatu51]

strange... either she's "high" (doubt it, since she's workin).. or she's just havin a nervous laughter

[Applefan1]

I don't think it was either, she just naturally laughs a lot. It was a light heated conversation I was having with her.

[Klaatu51]

so seems like she's friendly around u... u can ask her out for a dinner but in a friendly way i guess

[Applefan1]

While being friendly there was something else I noticed about her but of course I did not tell her

[Gladia]

We are doing our job, not flirting with you. You are sexually harrassing women in their place of work, wake up to yourself. You will get banned from the shop.