She says she needs to figure herself out, what does that mean?

[bt8888]

So I've known this girl for 10 years. We have a romantic past and she was dating a friend of mine. her and I hooked up and she then broke up with him. She claimed she was doing it for herself but I feel like that may not have been the truth.

Anyways we basically started dating but in secret. It was great though. We got physical and went on dates and spent great times together. She was very affectionate and told me things that made me believe we had a real future.

Then one night the ex tells her he cheated on her for the whole 5 years they dated. She was crushed. She told me she didn't have the mental stability to handle our relationship and that she needed time to figure herself out. I told her I understood, wanted to be there for her and would help her anyway I could. I also told her I still cared for her and not to let what we had get tossed aside.

Since then we haven't spoke much. I went from getting calls and texts from her every day to absolutely nothing. I feel like I got used as her safety valve for her breakup.

Is she subtly breaking it off or does she really need some "me" time? Do I just let her make the next move?

[Anonymous]

well she did get betrayed by the man she dated for FIVE years...i kinda understand her he if she is a bit ... doubtful of any man now.

aaaaand he was your friend.. and birds of a feather flock together ..

i mean this is what might be going through her head.

and after all she just needs time to be agree and hate him a little in order to forget. it's hard to do that and be in a relationship... because even though she might not love him anymore she can't help feeling like a... rag and you might think she still as feelings for him..it's just too hard to handle such extreme feelings even for different people.

i say just send her some texts everyonce in a while telling her that whenever she needs you you'll be there or something like that. write something that doesn't imply that you are expecting a reply right away.

[safflower]

She could be overwhelmed and not want to deal with men at all right now. If it's been more than a week though, now might be a good time to ask her if she'd like to spend some time together.

It's easy when you're really upset about something to not want to look at people that remind you of the upsetting thing... and then when you don't see them for a while you forget the things about them that made you feel good in the first place.