How does an introvert guy flirt with introvert girl?

[Anonymous]

So there's this girl in my work who I really like. The real issue though is that she is really quiet - the kind of girl who only speaks when spoken too.

I've started quite a few conversations with her, and once I open the conversation she does seem quite interested to talk more, and it usually turns into quite a cool conversation. But I'm also an introvert, so for me to actually even manage to start a conversation with her is a real task in itself. I'm the kind of guy who thinks about absolutely everything I'm going to say before speaking to her, and only talk to her if the time is right.

Like we will say hi to each other, although I feel like we will never really talk to each other unless I'm the one who has the guts to start the conversation.

I'm always super polite around her, and she's always really polite to me as well, but I just don't know how I can really show her that I like her, or even tell whether she likes me. It seems impossible.

Does the fact that she never really opens conversations with me mean that she doesn't like me? I know that's a totally introvert kind of trait, but as an introvert as well I've at least had the courage to go up and speak to her a few times.

Sure, on my last shift when I eventually leave the place, I will probably be like 'fuck it', and ask her out, but there's no way I could have the guts to ask her out before then due to possibly being rejected and it being super awkward after then.

But how do I flirt with her more than I'm already doing? I feel like I'm already putting myself out there in regards to talking to girls (this girl) that I NEVER normally would.

[Anonymous]

Aww, I think this is totally cute! :) I'm definitely an introvert as well & I totally get what you mean about being nervous about asking her out/talking to her in general. The trick is to find a common interest that will open up future conversations. For example, I knew this guy really liked art so I made a few sketches and put it where I knew he'd see them :P We immediately started talking about an upcoming art show & HE asked me out! Maybe you can ask for her cell phone number if you don't have it already because sometimes texting makes it easier to communicate :) Or if you talk about something really interesting via text you can bring it up again in person :) Good luck & remember there are worse things in the world than being rejected :)

[simplyadorable]

Your story is very familiar with me, funny some of what you said has been said to me before. Anyway, maybe you aren't clear where your relationship is going. Sometimes even if the hints, shy girls doesn't take them seriously, by seriously i dont mean she is playing with your feelings, she could be indifferent or just can't tell or her feelings for you aren't clear despite all the signs you've mentioned.

[soootired_]

if she has Facebook or something message her on their outside of work not seeing each other face to face will give you both a good opportunity to talk without being super uncomfortable or maybe after work ask for her number she will definitely know your interested then.

[Asker]

I already have her on facebook, I added her a few weeks ago. It's weird because I'm pretty much the only guy in my work that even has her on facebook, so I'm not sure whether that even means anything. I even wished her a happy birthday on facebook the other day where she gave the standard "Thank you *blush face*' response, so that probably doesn't mean much.

About asking for her number, that's way outside my comfort zone, for the reason being if she wasn't in fact into me, it would be super awkward. Sure, on my last ever shift if be like fuck it and ask her, but no way I could ask her before then without getting some serious courage.

[soootired_]

I'd say try messaging her on like the personal messenger it seems like she may be interested you can always ask for her number over that don't over think it but only do what your comfortable with !

[Asker]

But messaging her over facebook asking for her number is basically the same as asking her in person. It comes with the same potential consequences if she isn't into me. Also messaging her out of the blue when we have never spoke over facebook would probably seem kinda weird in my opinion.

[soootired_]

oh okay ! my boyfriend is kinda shy and thats how he first started talking to me just thought i'd share but if your not comfortable no ones forcing you to (:

[dwright9224]

Approaching an introvert as another introvert yourself is a lot easier if you just simply start off with a "hi" or "hello". Especially since you BOTH seem to have a lot in common. And if you're a nice guy, a introverted girl is LESS LIKELY to reject you.

[Asker]

That's actually exactly what I've been doing already. Always make sure I say Hi to her with a smile, although I'm not sure where to go from there.

[dwright9224]

Well what I normally do is say something like, "Heyy, I like your ummm... shoes?" Or compliment or smile or something.

[dwright9224]

*her smile

[MikeyTheRebel]

I have experience with this, it didn't work out. We just cancelled each other out, I'm introverted to an extent so I can't really compare my case to yours exactly. Once I get to know someone I can really open up, but when I don't know you it's really hard for me to find things to talk about. With that introverted girl we got nowhere, never had any insightful convos or memorable moments. I wish you the best of luck though.

[wegetalittletipsy]

gigihadid stated that she comes out of her shell when she feels comfortable around someone. I 100% AGREE WITH THIS, so many shy girls come out of their shell once they are comfortable around someone - I saw it all the time in my physics class (most of the girls were very quiet, and also very pretty lol).

What I think you need to do is make friends with her and make her feel comfortable around you, then try flirting.

[gigihadid]

I'm a shy, introverted girl but I always come out of my shell after I feel comfortable around someone. I think you've alreasdy made it blatantly obvious that you are into her. Do you think the initial spark or instant chemistry was there?

[Asker]

But the thing is, she does seem comfortable speaking to me, after I start the conversation. She doesn't back off or anything like that, and she seems genuinely interested in me (she will ask me questions about what I study etc). I'll ask her questions about things like that too.

When speaking to her there is chemistry. She already knows that we are into the same kind of things, for example she wants to study engineering at university, and I'm already in first year studying engineering.

I just don't know whether that's just her being nice though, or whether it actually means anything in regards to liking me.

[gigihadid]

that's a very good sign. Now it's time to take the plunge and ask her if she wants to hang out. Does she make eye contact, smile or fix her hair when she is around you?

[Asker]

She always makes eye contact when we speak, and she will smile/giggle at a few things when we speak.

But that's the thing that's driving me crazy, all the signs point towards she does in fact like me, based on conversations we have. But surely if she did like me she would actually approach me more for her to actually start conversations. Like I've said I'm the only one who ever initiates the conversations.

The only times she will ever come over and speak to me first is when it's work related stuff. Obviously, she's pretty introverted like me though, and maybe thats the reason why?

[gigihadid]

She could be very shy or for the worst case scenario not interested. You will never know the answer until you ask. Does she know that you are interested in her? The next time you see her give her a compliment but still keep things professional since you are co-workers.

[lollipopsicle]

Just make a low key compliment about her physical appearance. If she changes her hair or makeup, say you like it. You can compliment her eyes if the other options don't arise. If you blush, it isn't a bad thing. It shows that you're sincere

[Prof_Don]

The only thing u can do is to get her contact info, and start talking to her more outside the workplace, until she eventually opens up.

If u don't have the patience to go through this process, I would just move on.

[serious]

I really doubt that an introvert guy can even flirt!!. That too with an introvert girl!!, that's even more weird.

I mean it might happen but it's highly unlikely, at least according to me.

[Walls_and_Doors]

Watching two quiet introverts flirt is probably more dull than watching paint dry. Just grab a blanket and stare at one another submitting silent half-queues.

[PartialisticMan]

By being straightforward or talking about her interests

[SunnyCaliGirl]

Ask what type of books do you like to read my sweet dear? lol

[iFarted]

The same way non-introverted guys flirt.

[fiodor99]

they stare each other to death lol