Going slow is killng me...but he is worth it. I need advice!!!! ( Boys & Girls) LONG...sorta

[AngelicEchoes]

So I have my guy that I am finally happy about but there is something I am worried about, and I need advice.

So the other night I tell him that I am falling for him, and I wasn't telling him to freak him out, or scare him, but that's how I was feeling. We have known each other for about a month now, and I feel really sure about him. I explained that I don't fall this fast or soon and he understood. SOOOO in the mist of me confessing my feelings, he grabs me and kisses me. This kiss is so different from his other kisses and it felt amazing. I try to pull away so I can finish what I am saying, but he won't let me go. When I told him I was falling for him and I couldn't help it, he says " I'm trying to help it." What does that mean? He said he was very happy that I told him.

So when I finally said " I love you " he looked at me and smiled, and kissed me again. BUT this time he tells me that he is so afraid to say that to me. WHY? He says he feels the same about me, and sees his lasting a very long time, but he wants to take the time to get to know me. A part of him is telling him to jump in, and the other part is telling him to slow down. He says he is falling in love with me.

So now when we discuss his job and I ask if girls come up to him, he said they do, but if they try to hit on him. He is polite, explains he is spoken for, and walks off. Does that mean he is my boyfriend. ( the spoken for I mean) He said he isn't seeing anyone else, he doesn't want to. That he isn't interested in anyone else, but he wants to go slow and get to know me.

I need advice on going slow. What do we do when we are together. I need advice. Date ideas to help him along on making up his mind ( even though he says he wants me already) Going slow is slowly killing me. Should I tell him I love him again, or should I wait to till he is ready? I don't want to lose him because I told him how I felt.

[Tigerlily]

Here's one way of thinking about it... if you were sitting in your room one day and he just came in the door, pulled up your skirt and pushed your underwear aside, unzipped his jeans and just basically started having sex with you, that'd probably kinda hurt, and it'd sure as hell be weird. What you'd most likely want better is to spend a little time with him, start kissing, touching etc so that the attraction can build and then you'll enjoy it more. Not that you don't want to have sex with him, you know you would want to, but you just need to have a little build-up first.

It's basically the same principle. It sounds like he knows he'll fall in love with you at some point. You just need to give him some time. A month isn't long - yes it happens but usually it'll take some time to actually fall in love. I don't think you'll lose him because you told him how you felt, but you do need to go with the flow a little! Just because he hasn't said he loves you yet, doesn't mean he won't ever. There's nothing you have to do on dates that you haven't already been doing. Enjoy eachother's company, do something fun, do whatever you normally do. If you do tell him you love him again, make sure he knows you're not trying to pressure him to say it back, that you're just expressing how you feel. It's probably also best not to overdo it though, otherwise you may unintentionally be pressuring him.

When you're by yourself, sit back and fantasize a little. Let yourself look forward to what will happen instead of worrying that it won't. Imagine what it'll be like in 6 months' time when he's realised he really does love you and you've been together for a while. Imagine that you're enjoying being with him and you're thinking how glad you were that you didn't pressure him, and imagine him thanking you for being patient with him. Have a little faith. This guy sounds promising. He'll come around, but you do need to give him some time. I'm not saying wait around forever, but bear in mind that a month is a short time so you can afford to wait a little while. Until then, just enjoy the raw feelings instead of trying to put a label on it. Good luck! =]

[overthetop67]

" I'm trying to help it." What does that mean? It means he wants you to fall for him, he likes it.

Does that mean he is my boyfriend? Yes, I think it does. Plus the totally falling for each other thing.

I think you could wait until you feel the relationship has progressed substantially or until he says it first, to say I love you.

Going slow doesn't have to entail endless patience and boring times; It just means exactly that, going slower, letting things build. Maybe try and enjoy it, just breath as you enjoy and experience every second of it. Time is irrelevant, it's what's happening right there, the holding hands, the small kisses, enjoy whatever he's doing to take it slow.

[BOUNTYGUY9]

it does kill thats loving for you

[Nice222]

Slow is good