What causes emotional attraction for us guys?

[Anonymous]

for girls it seems to be the troubled guy that triggers her emotions, but guys don't operate like that, so what causes emotional attraction for us in a girl?

[PhoenixRisingDK]

Short answer: A girl that 'gets you'.
A woman that understand how you think, and doesn't try mold you into the image that she thinks she wants instead.
Someone you're instantly comfortable with, can connect with, and confide in about your life desires and have deeper conversations about lifes bigger questions.

Most guys have trouble seperating the feeling in their pants, from their feeling in their heart.
To get it, you need to learn the difference between emotional attraction and physical attraction.
You can bang a hundred girls you're physically attracted to, and never get 'that feeling'... but once you're emotionally attracted, you don't want to bang anyone else... and she doesn't even have to be knockout gorgeous.
You'll become psysically attracted anyway, because of the emotional connection.

Guys need to stop thinking with their dicks, and use whatever brains they've got left, to land that prize catch: The girl who doesn't run away screaming, labeling you desperate, for opening up and being honest about your real feelings... not just the feeling you get when you cum.

The shallow chicks will run... and trust me, you're better off without them anyway. The intelligent ones will stick around to listen and explore more of you.
You don't need the macho alpha male bullshit, unless banging useless cumrags is your main thing.

[Anonymous]

I think what attracts us men is if we can trust them and have faith in them. Then the little arguments we have with a woman then she makes you feel bad then punish you for it like flirting with another guy to make us jealous. It brings us closer to them it gives us the idea of we don't know what we have until it's gone so we come and do something amazing to get her back. Which draws us closer. SEX is NOT WHAT BRING GUYS EMOTIONALLY CLOSER! Girls who give us a chase where we so close to getting to them but we can't grab them. During the chase we absorb so much information that we fall in love with the real woman. Going for females who is easy is just like a kid has this video game he plays it and not only did he beat the game fast but it was to easy he wants something tougher so he won't lose interest. It's the same way with guys and out feelings about females. I also think we fall in love when we feel comfortable to show our girl the soft side of us(everyman has that side you don't want your friend to see). Basically when a female learn to adapt to a man way of he doing things and he learn how to adopt to her and they meet 50/50. You end up with a wedding and a family a happy life for the couple.

[tiffanyj]

she has to make you feel safe! you want 2 be able to tlk to her about anything.knowing she wnt judge you. she has to make you open up.tlk about things you never did b4.

[Mesonfielde]

....people always store every bit of information they care about. Especially the ones they can judge you for.

[tiffanyj]

Well then that person dsnt have good intentions for you..and he or she really dsnt care about the real you!!!

[flower1000]

good question

not enough mens answers I would like to know this as well

[ap1100]

I don't agree that it's the troubled guy who girls like. That's club and bar girls.

For me, I scout out girls who share my biggest passions; namely, world travel and wine. If I meet a girl like that and go out with her and she can hold an interesting conversation, I'm sucked in. It's hard to find educated, witty, classy women in their early/mid 20s, so I think I feel an initial connection that way.

[Asker]

Yeah I think just a certain commonality that you feel/sense about someone helps too. Like they're attractive, yet familiar in a way, even if you barely know them.

[Anonymous]

I will have to say its a sex related trigger and does she appeal to us overall. The girl I'm dating (Long Distance) at first didn't appeal to me at all but then after a few sexual instances and a spout of jealousy from both ends we hooked up and have been together for 8 months. We as men want an emotional connection where we feel safe and don't have to perform beyond the normal means. An example would be the stuff that the cast from the show "Jackass" would do, but not the gross stuff, like maybe (riding in a shopping cart in a chicken suit while singing the bird is the word). We all want a girl who can be a whore for us at times but at the same time be someone we can confide in and cry to if we are emotionally overwhelmed. Or a girl who will where sweat pants and a t-shirt and watch a kung-fu movie and do things they absolutely detest for us.. like eat ketchup lolz...

[Anonymous]

For guys it's all sex-related triggers.

[Asker]

So basically if you find her physically attractive enough, you'll develop emotional feelings as well?

[Opinion Owner]

Hasn't that been consistent with your experience?

[Mesonfielde]

Well, isn't physical attraction already an "emotional feeling"?

[PhoenixRisingDK]

You got it backwards.
Banging a hot woman will not make you become emotionally attached.
If that was true... most people would would be in fulfilling relationships.

When emotionally attracted however, that woman will instantly become the most beautiful girl in the world to you. When it happens, you will not have any doubts this is the one.

Emotional attraction is not just a primal instinct to connect compatible body parts.
It requires both intelligence, and awareness of your emotional self.
Unfortunately, lots of guys have their minds clouded by alpha male bullshit and the urge to shoot off a load.