Anonymous(36-45)+1 yI get what you mean brethren, get this quite a bit on the likes of Tinder and POF, like most of the female responses have said, harsh but true, they've usually found someone better or have just gotten bored. I get you completely about the frustration with not even having the decency to say no, sorry not interested, but then it makes you think: are they really worth your time?/ would you date someone who can't even perform the simplest task? Blessings in disguise. The best thing I can suggest, is work on meeting girls IRL and work on your approach/conversational skills, no doubt rejection will happen, but it will help you build your confidence. Wishing you all the best! A fellow introvert/shy guy.
30 Reply
Most Helpful Opinions
+1 yDon't think about it, man, trust me. It'll only make you jaded and insecure. One way or another, she's just not really into it. Plus, girls have a higher match rate with comparatively more popularly swiped upon partners.
Try to have some flavour in your conversations. Make a tame but relevant joke, or ask about something you noticed from her bio or pictures. Utilize your punctuation, and be direct but friendly, and lightly inquisitive.
Be yourself, but be your best self. If she's still not into it, she's just not right for you.
No biggie.
Nearly 8 billion people on this rock, and more than half of them are women.
Don't sweat it.60 Reply
Anonymous(36-45)+1 yMost of the time it’s because they’ve caught me in the wrong mood.
There would be periods of a month when im bored and want to go out/horny/feel open minded and ready to meet a guy. When guys message me during that period, I’ll reply sincerely and actually try to be funny/interesting and plan to meet up.
Other months I might be focused on work, family, friendship stuff, other guys, hobbies, life, etc and I’ll use the apps only if I’m bored at work or waiting for a train or something. So if a guy msgs me, I might reply a couple of times, but I’m not interested no matter who he is. He’s just a filler at that point30 Reply
I’ve had guys message me with really clever openers but then as the conversation would progress and I’d try to get to know them, they would respond with generic answers that made the conversation really hard to continue.
020 Reply- +1 y
So you are telling me you stopped messaging them because they couldn't put upna standup comedy routine for you?
Damn, girl, you're like a Formula 1 race car: really high maintenance, but you'd get me to finish in seconds.
But seriously, you can't expect them to always be witty and funny if you are boring and not putting. inI any effort. Takes two to tango. - +1 y
No. I didn’t stop talking to them because they weren’t witty or funny. I stopped talking to them because as I was trying to get to know them, they didn’t leave much in the way of conversation. If I ask you what kind of movies you like and you reply ‘all kinds’, that’s not giving me anything to work with. I’m trying to find common interests and if the guy is being extremely vague and broad with his answers, it’s hard to find something interesting to talk about. I don’t care if you’re the funniest person on the planet, if you don’t have anything interesting to talk about, what’s the point in having a conversation? I’m not high maintenance, I just don’t see the point in trying to get to know someone who doesn’t seem as invested in the conversation.
- +1 y
Honestly, the greeting isn’t really that important. I like it when a guy has a witty opener, but it’s not necessary. ‘Hey there’ works just fine. Just not ‘hey sexy’ or anything like that. I don’t base much off the greeting, it’s the conversation that follows that’s most important.
- +1 y
I agree.
But let me ask you: would you agree that you can't really be witty and charming without knowing anything about the other person? Because I quite often find myself conversing with girls on dating sites whose bios... leaves a bit to desire. Some contain useless information, some are entirely empty.
With these conditions, can the guy really be blamed for being formulaic? - +1 y
Exactly. I had an online profile with a tag line once. And a lot of the guys just assumed it was a meaningful quote from a book or a literal question. But I had one guy that apparently looked it up and was confused by what he found, because it was from an Asian reality show with a boy group dressed in animal costumes. 😂😂😂 To me that showed that he was actually interested and wanted to get to know me.
- +1 y
Hm... looks like we've found the exception boys.
Call Mulder, and bring a lot of guns. We'll have toto examine this one in a safe environment. The future of humankind can depens on this, so don't screw this up!
And you, missy, sit tight, and wait for extraction. There might just be hope for women yet!
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
22Opinion
There is only one reason why i stop and that reason is I have no interest in that person what so ever. Yeah I'm going to respond back to the person but I only respond out of kindness. Its kind of rude you know so once that conversation is over with that person, I will not answer back if he texted me back again. AT ALL. See me if they keep bugging and bugging then my bitch side comes out and takes over. I really don't like when that happens. Some of us can and will be a bitch. If you can't get it the first time when I ignored you and I only do that just so I won't be rude to the guy. But if he didn't get it the first time then I have to be a bitch to actually have him leave me alone.
05 Reply- +1 y
I mean if you’re not interested.. why reply in the first place? I know you’re trying to be nice but that leads them on and you’re just wasting their time. Next time just unmatch or don’t reply at all because you’re just that bitch that stops replying or gets all mad when they asked why you stopped replying.
It truthfully depends on the girl but some girls may just like the attention or are bored and looking for conversation. Personally I won’t reply if I’m not interested or I’ll unmatch, no need to waste the other guys time ya know? But let’s say midway through a convo I stopped replying it could be because I found out the guys shorter than me, lives too far or just isn’t a very driven or successful guys. Those are like my top three things. But usually id unmatch not just stop replying.
31 Reply- +1 y
What happens if you're 6,2 and they stop talking? 😂
Anonymous(30-35)+1 yNo girls don't and they won't. They just want attention 90 percebt of the time. After they get it usually they ghost you before the guy asks them out.
Also why message some loser who is worshiping you. He is not worth the goddesses time.
I gave up on online dating after hearing even my fat female friends admit they only use it for free attention and when they want a guy interested.
All but 2 of my female friends freeze when approached by a guy in person. After they just send the guy away insulting him and calling him a creep just cause they could not handle being approached.30 Reply
Anonymous(36-45)+1 yI agree for the most part. Even if you're incompatible with a person, doesn't mean you can't be friends or at least civil to for half an hour. There's no need graceless to someone you don't know and most guys are alright when your honest about why you don't think pursuing the relationship would be a good idea... That being said. There are times when "ghosting" is in a girl's best interest. The only guys I've ever ghosted have been those whom I genuinely felt were toxic or ones who've made me feel unsafe to be around them. There's no reasoning with some people; and safety has to come before politeness.
10 ReplyDating online is mostly hopeless at this point if you actually want a relationship.
42 Reply
+1 yPersonally it might be because she's talking to other guys.. that's a possibility and she might find him or them more interesting (not to say you're not) but that's def one option.
She could be bored and passing some time.
He could have been too flirty/ or started talking about inappropriate things that made her comfy.
Maybe he came across as too needy - like I personally don't like it when I guy continually messages after I've paused a taken a moment too long to reply.
Either way, I think it'd be nice to let them know rather than ignore them10 Reply
+1 yFor me it would be because they said something about me that upset me. I’d tell them though that I was upset. I do t just ghost. It’s not nice!
12 Reply- +1 y
What about those people who ghosted themselves in situations?
- +1 y
@alimusharfx111 How does one ghost themself?
+1 yIf the msgs are going back and forth quickly (a sign she likes you, hence not boring) and you haven't asked her out after like 3-5 days she thinks you're too much of a pussy to ask her out. In that time at least 5 guys probably will have asked her out. So why would she waste time idly talking to a guy that doesn't make moves?
04 Reply- +1 y
Have you asked the girl out yet?
- +1 y
Then you need to be more fun so they actually do want to meet up. If you organise to meet up a week in advance you need to text them again a few days later to keep them interested in seeing you so they remember you amongst all the other guys texting her.
Yeah bro I'm kinda in the exact same position as you right now. Often it goes really well for a while, and then they just stop responding. It's obviously super frustrating cuz girls often don't even contribute to the conversation (i. e., won't ask questions back or will give short answers) but then want you to make the conversation super interesting at the same time. I feel your pain bro lol
33 Reply- +1 y
I totally agree you either have to somehow make a perfect conversation which is subjective as f$$$k or be super good looking. Girls are ridiculous try to respect them but their actions and thoughts are less then admirable.
1. if things got boring
2. if she found someone more interesting or even more attractive (no offense I don't know what u look like)
3. If she had some deep reflection and realised she no longer wants a relationship/hookup
4. If she smells something fishy (its just like a feeling that the other person is not being real/honest20 Reply
+1 yFor me when I was single it just could be cuz I got busy in my life but would come back to the conversation. But I would explain that. I don't know. I know women have a different experience on dating apps as it seems they have more options. But if I was no longer interested I would tell them. That's pretty rude not too. Sorry if that's been your experience.
00 Reply
Anonymous(30-35)+1 yUsually it’s just lack of interest. Maybe it was fun talking to them but the attraction wasn’t there, and you know how guys on apps like tinder are. You say you’re not interested and they pop off at you calling you a slut or saying you lead them on, blah, blah, blah. Or, even more likely, They found a better match.
14 Reply- +1 y
Is this ever happen that he showed his interest and u didn't reciprocate but instead of abusing u , he apologized to make uncomfortableness? If u find guy like him what would u do?
Opinion Owner+1 y@alimusharfx111 No never
- +1 y
But if u find guy like this? What would u think about him after he 👻 u?
+1 yI dont really delete them they delete me because im straight up honest, which is fine plenty of guys or girls out there 😏
16 Reply- +1 y
I tell them I'm happy with friends with benefits aslong as they don't go flaky and weird on me or I wouldn't mind finding potential one day... I just don't really care. Just had someone unmatch me because they said you're 20 surely you're not looking for a husband and I kinda said not right now not on here anyway lol..
- +1 y
I know what I'm on the apps for I just don't put it in my bio as guys have used my interests against me before and then left and dissapeared with no good reason..
- +1 y
Yupp sure have
+1 yYeah that's girls for me. Hopeless for me when texting online like Facebook and stuff. They'd never be interested. They'd try so hard to avoid me. Haha I might freak them out I guess. Let them go, I'd consider that's a hit-and-miss. Don't wanna waste those time on those girls anymore.
00 Reply
Anonymous(36-45)+1 yI'd stop replying if I got overwhelmed by the whole thing. I'm getting ready to do that now except I'm ready to delete my profile. I panic after a few days and feel so insecure afterwards that even if I was attracted to someone and matched them I'd still go without any explanation because at least they didn't get a chance to get hooked or anything so me disappearing after a few days is no biggy.
09 Reply
Opinion Owner+1 y1. Guys wanting to meet me within the same week we start talking.
2. Not feeling mentally and emotionally prepared to start dating. I always change my mind after thinking I'll give it a shot sometimes
3. Because there's the constant battle between let it happen naturally with someone in person vs taking charge and finding someone in a pool of eligible bachelors.
4. Even with matches, not feeling attractive enough even though I know I shouldn't look to a dating site to feel attractive.
5. No connection with my matches no matter how attractive they are to me and I have too much going on, it never feels like the right time.
Opinion Owner+1 yetc. As others said focusing on someone I do have a better connection with might be more beneficial and better my chances at a real life connection. In any case it's not typically anything to do with the guy I stop talking to. If it is, it's because he stops replying as quickly, doesn't ask me questions in return, or he stops responding to me. Men do this to me all the time.
- +1 y
I totally understand that, but trust me, disappearing on someone even if only after a few days is a big deal.
It sounds like you like to take things really slow, so yeah apps are probably even less viable for you, but I kinda prefer the same thing and that's why it's impossible nowadays to make those connections, because people flake out and ghost on a whim.
Opinion Owner+1 yOn bumble, I sent a guy a joke and decided to tell him I was kidding after he replied. But he never replied, just unmatched me ;_; it wasn't even a bad joke
Opinion Owner+1 yGuys do it to me after a day or two and really it is not a big deal. It's better to get the people like that out of the way so I can focus on someone I'm better suited for
- +1 y
Props for at least sending a message, back when I used bumble none of my matches ever sent a message and it was infuriating, like why are you here and matching with me if not to at least talk. But apparently some girls just use these apps for an ego boost so that's good to know.
Opinion Owner+1 yLike yea it hurts your pride a little and if they were the one you were really hoping to meet it might even sting a little but they don't owe me anything. I'd rather they disappear before we meet
+1 ysometimes we’re just not interested. i know it doesn’t make sense that someone would be on a dating app but not really be interested in anyone, sometimes we just get bored/want attention even if it’s from random guys. depends on the mood, she probably just wasn’t into you
02 Reply- +1 y
sorry dude, best of luck
Anonymous(45 Plus)+1 yOnline dating is messed up. Attractive woman don't need to go online to get a date, they might be online for an ego boost or for fun but why? Women only find the top %20 of men attractive at all the other %80 are invisible. Dating sites leave old profiles up to make it look like there are women on the site further adding to the problems. Add in scams, prostitutes etc it's simply not worth it.
00 Reply
Anonymous(30-35)+1 yHonestly, I talk to people online when I’m bored. I don’t actually plan on hanging out with them, well if they were super chill, not too pushy and not a creep I might hang out with them. But most are creeps
36 Reply
Opinion Owner+1 yWhy don’t you get out and meet some ladies in person? Going to the grocery store and making conversation or go to some concerts and meet new people
- +1 y
That's a long story but summed up by: I'm a socially anxious introvert. I occasionally meet a girl through mutual friends but the most recent one is emotionally unavailable atm due to an ex. But yeah there's no way I could just start a conversation with a stranger, and I really never want to be that guy who randomly hits on women when they're not looking to be approached
Opinion Owner+1 yYou have a point there. But tbh when I’m at the grocery store and an attractive guy makes conversation with me, I like it. I usually giggle and converse back. But whatever makes you comfortable is important
Opinion Owner+1 yI can’t remember. It was awhile ago.. I think just a simple, hi how are you doing? Then I take it from there and see if he’s interesting or not
he got boring or theyre already talking to someone or multiple people
- have a new opener again maybe with some interesting topics if you're really interested..11 Reply- +1 y
Why don’t girls try to get to know a guy. How can say he no good because a text conversation got boring. That’s madness. Maybe he’s not good at text or just can’t think of anything else at the moment
10 moHonestly it depends here are some of the more common ones: we are just not that into you, technical difficulties the notifications aren't workings properly, life happened and a guy we have never met isn't much of a priority at the moment, we were chatting with someone else who asked us out and we are seeing where it goes, while we may enjoy talking with you there is just no momentum and whatever spark we had initially fizzled, or she is taking a break from the apps for her own mental health.
00 ReplyIt is your perception. And it may not be the truth or your ethereal body is expressing through the flesh that this is your ideal forum, for you have validity. Don't get hung up on the wishywashy mind of people. Focus on your spirit and keep asking, seeking, having faith, and praying for Grace for you. Your sincerity will bring all of this to pass.
00 Reply
Anonymous(36-45)+1 y*Acting clingy is a huge turn off to me
*The conversation was boring
*He said something that I hugely disagree with which makes us incompatible12 Reply- +1 y
I mean what sort of clingyness? What make u think that ohter peron is needy?
Opinion Owner+1 yKeeping track of time for me.
For ex asking where were you , u didn't reply for so long , wanting to spend or chat all the time. Asking once is ok thou
I need time alone for my hobbies, friend's, salon, shopping
+1 yMostly because
1. Too many options
2. You weren’t as impressive as you thought you’d be
3. Or I uninstalled the app (most common one)12 Reply- +1 y
Well, it doesn’t mean all the other women weren’t. They just behave differently in a similar situation.
+1 yFound someone who I'm more interested in and going on a date or about to or the conversation got stuck and boring. Also if he start getting too serious to fast and pushy. Oh and if he ask for my number after a few texts seems desperate to me
00 Reply
+1 yHmm. Maybe the opposite party does not have the same interest in the conversation? Switch up another topic?
11 Reply- +1 y
To me, it's the guy that stopped responding to my msgs. I think it's difficult for both genders to find someone for similar topics.
+1 yMate look at all the females here. No point doing online dating.. once they get bored they just jump to another guy. What do they offer besides looks... nothing look at the Shollow replys
31 Reply- +1 y
lmao no wonder you're so bitter when you call women females. I assure you you're the problem not the women. what's wrong w moving on because someone's boring if you can't hold a conversation there's nowhere to go from that. how's it shallow when it's based on personality lol. You'll have better luck when you see women as more than vending machines you put nice coins into and get the kind of attraction you want in return.
+1 yIf the conversation was going great on your side, she might not of had the same impression? Is that a possibility?
02 Reply- +1 y
If she's flirting back then I honestly don't know, she probably likes the attention
+1 yBoredom sure, but also if someone sends repetitive messages with nasty fetishes. That happens more than you'd think.
03 Reply- +1 y
Oh damn, that's a thing? How often?
- +1 y
@fuzzyllama There's some who open accounts just for that reason and keep spamming others with that stuff. I would see there's at least two or three on every site I've been.
- +1 y
Wow, that's crazy!
Just don't send nudes or say stupod pickup lines XD
10 ReplyEither because I lost interest or because he started acting inappropriately in some way.
02 Reply- +1 y
What are the inappropriates , please. Mention some , telling samething again?
- +1 y
@alimusharfx111 What do you mean telling something again?
2.4K opinions shared on Flirting topic. I smell a rat.
I lost Interest
He is too Controlling xx02 Reply- +1 y
@peterpsak Good question.
Not only does it make no sense it can also contribute to emotional difficulties and misogynistic thoughts.
I'd say online dating is a farse for most men. Had six years experience, very little luck.30 Reply537 opinions shared on Flirting topic. It's because they go for the "best" guy they can get on their out of the hundreds of other guys that message them. It's all a big waste of time if you're not one of those guys
12 ReplyOne word messages or answers, one letter, just emojis or abbreviations, being asked for nudes and sex and being sent nudes
04 Reply- +1 y
Yeah same here, I've had to deal with girls who'd have really cool things going for them (one girl was 18, but already had a really cool car, she was into bikes, and ran a foodtruck at festivals) but then whenever I was asking her about this stuff, like for instance about what kind of festivals she'd go to with that foodtruck, she'd just go with a generic "whatever is available". Like sure I get that thats what might be tbe case but then give me one that you really liked being at or whatever. Make it sound interesting even when its not.
- +1 y
I had one gut where I explained this game I came up with in my head (can't remember now ) but this message I sent was huge and all he said was "ok" , I'm trying to make friends and a possible partner but the guys who talk to me either just want sex which I don't want or they ignore me or their way to old , I need someone close to age and in Australia
I usually stop when I notice that the conversation isn't really flowing smoothly. I like asking a lot of questions but I also wish they'd ask more about me. Smth like that.
10 ReplyI try to comment in points of interest that we have in common. Thought I was doing it right, maybe I should've asked for nudes. haha
01 Reply
Anonymous(30-35)+1 yIf he's interested in only hooking up
If he starts talking dirty
If he's boring
If he takes over 1 day to respond03 Reply- +1 y
What’s wrong with hookups
Opinion Owner+1 yIm not into that
Im not gonna waste my time on douchebags- +1 y
You may not be into that but doesn’t make the guy a douchebag or bad person. Vice versa if a woman likes sleeping around it doesn’t make her a bad person. It’s just a choice they make. Lying to get it does however makes you bad
+1 y- they're boring
- ask for nudes or start sexting me out if nowhere
- if they're abit cringy to talk to
- double texting01 Reply- +1 y
Of*..
If they're asking for nudes immediately, if their conversational skills suck, if they're acting creepy
11 Reply
Anonymous(25-29)+1 yFound someone better, guy got boring and i was just being kind before, guy said something too forward or sexual, etc
111 Reply- +1 y
What do you consider exciting through text. I mean it’s text. Convo is eventually going to have a lull.
Opinion Owner+1 y@CuriousGuyP1 Thats not true though. If your conversations get dull, you gotta change something up. Or maybe it's not just you, but rather you two have nothing in common. Talk about something you both like, dont do boring interview questions, you know? Haha
- +1 y
Yeah I’m tracking and you do have a point. But I mean it takes time to figure out if you have stuff in common. Again eventually you have convos with yours friends is every conversation you have exciting. Thats like manic behavior. I think that’s being way too ideal I think people should take time to get to know people. Just because something was great at the beginning doesn’t mean it is all throughout. That’s superficial to think that way and to honest just really immature and stupid. But hey what do I know.
Opinion Owner+1 y@CuriousGuyP1 it's not superficial, it's enjoyong being in the company of the person in question. Whe not all my conversations with friends are exciting, they certainly aren't boring.
- +1 y
Superficial
Opinion Owner+1 y@Luke123456 ? Knowing how to socialise? 😂
Opinion Owner+1 y@Luke123456 here you go:
"superficial
ˌsuːpəˈfɪʃ (ə) l/
adjective
1.
existing or occurring at or on the surface."
You can't talk to someone and get the real deal underneath if theyre asking you dumb questions that a robot would ask.- +1 y
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️ well done you can look up the dictionary 🙌🙌🙌 look up between shit and syphilis and that's where you will find my sympathy.
Also you must be so lovely jumping from one guy to another 😅😅 - +1 y
Opinion Owner+1 y@Luke123456 Nice job stealing someone else's joke to pass it off as your own, originality/10.
Also your prior kindergarten level comeback only shows your lack of understanding of implications.
Jumping from one guy to another? Babe, I'm in a long term relationship with a guy I met in person, not on a dating app😂 But hey, now I know how attached and entitled you feel to chicks online who you barely know and talk to👌
Opinion Owner+1 y@CuriousGuyP1 No, the real contradiction is in this sentence of yours: "whether interesting to you or not to gauge your interest." If it's NOT interesting, it won't gauge interest😂
Now listen, if you want to get to know someone, asking a question every 5 seconds isn't the best way. If all you're doing is asking and all they're doing is answering, it will get dull, trust me. I'm trying to help you~ Try talking about what interests you or what you do or like and build a convo from that, for instance, dont act like you're an employer and they're here for a job offer.
+1 yI'd say she found a more interesting option and decided to not play games with multiple guys. Good on her. Cause they could easily play as many as they want at any given time
00 Reply
+1 yThey send a dick pic, say something absolutly absurd, 100% bored of them after 5 sentences..
01 Reply- +1 y
WEL do you make an effort to talk to them? What do you offer besides being 39 and on tinder
When they keep talking about themselves for hours uhh , selfish
10 Reply
Anonymous(30-35)+1 ywell maybe we just need to make improvements to ourselves?
10 ReplyBeing weird or bitch
Start the conversation asking personal questions00 ReplyUr afraid of what's going to happen next like is there going to be a face to face thing, that leads to more than that
00 Reply
+1 yI'd he's unattractive she'll stop talking to him since he cares about looks mostly
00 ReplyGood for ego, I guess. Seeing that people are interested in them
10 ReplyDating apps are only feasable for hookups if you ask me.
10 ReplyBecause you spend too much time texting instead of being a man and actually meeting in person
48 Reply- +1 y
Funny thing I've found with that is, they're keen to give their number and exchange messages, then when it gets to organizing a meet up or date they say yes and then just vanish.
- +1 y
And @fuzzyllama yeah that seems to be a common theme. They're in it just for the thrill of being won over but as soon as it gets real, they back out
+1 yIf I understand that I do not like him
00 Reply
+1 yIf they're like super creepy and ask for nudes
10 ReplyIf the conversation is boring
00 Reply
Anonymous(25-29)+1 ySometimes I just get too busy with other things
00 Reply
+1 yGet to creepy and want to meet right now
02 Reply- +1 y
What else
There are many reasons 4 this... i guess!!!
00 Reply
+1 yI wish to know too 😂😂😂
00 ReplyBecause I sometimes swipe them right accidentaly
00 Replythose pity pick up lines
00 Reply
+1 yshe loves me and I love her
00 Reply- Show More (4)
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