Should I treat him the way he treats me?

[paula32987]

So me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost six months now, and we really care about each other til the point that we both asked each other how we felt about one another. He tells me he loves me and I love him too and he has made me so happy. I know all about the men are from mars and women are from Venus crap but that should only go to a certain extent. I give a lot of care to this relationship but I am not getting those things back in return in the past couple months. To put it short and sweet, everything I do in this relationship I do it out of love. I cook for my boyfriend, bake sweets, send him once in a while sweet little text messages during the day to tell him I'm thinking about him, I drive 45 minutes out of my way to see him because he means that much to me. I even sent him a little teddy bear to his office to say, I'm thinking of you. But the part that hurts the most is that when we are together at times like when were watching a movie, he does not cuddle with me that much. Keep in mind we only really see each other once or twice a week because of work and distance. .He even made a list a while back on the things that make a perfect relationship, but yet he hasn't done any of those things. We have talked about this stuff directly to one another and he had agreed in trying to improve returning the favor. I only see a slight improvement, but it has only been a week. I told him the the things I do for you most of the time I'd like to get back. I am not asking for much, just a little affection. I want to know is my partner going to be there for me when I am sick in bed etc etc. I am giving this relationship a fair chance and time, but I want to know should I treat him the way he has been treating me for the past couple months, to show him how hurtful it is for me?

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Update: Or should I just say to him, "if you can't give me these, you need to tell me so that I can find someone who will." in a polite manner.

[Anonymous]

Ok, first off start small.

Try writing 1 love poem and ask him to write one in return.

Try to cuddle up next to him during a movie, and see if next time he does it.

Compliment him a lot when he shows you a bit of attention, that will make him want to do it more.

If he gives you a small present, remind him a LOT about it and how grateful and happy you are that he did that. Hopefully he will get the hint and give you more things.

If he hasn't even thought of giving you things, hint to him that you want a rose because you are going to make him a nice dinner next time you guys see each other. When he does bring the rose, then compliment him for being such a GREAT boyfriend. Hopefully he'll get the hint and bring you a rose next time also.

You should never treat a person badly on purpose because it makes you a BAD person and you will feel like the BAD guy. I treat others how I want to be treated, so I always treat them nicely.

Anyways, I think you should just compliment him so much on something, even if he didn't do it. I read that in a magazine, I've never done it before but I might do it. I'm not sure my technique works but this is what I read in a magazine.

As for my guy, he's not really romantic at all and he just want to play his video game all day and all night. And he doesn't get what I mean when I say I just want you spend 20 min a day with me uninterrupted and MAKE that time for me so I know you will focus entirely on me. some times I get you, you don't feel loved and it'snot right especially when you give your all. But you know what? I think some guys just need to learn to be more loving. Try to see if your guy will learn. There are mean guys who do it on purpose and there are stupid guys who just don't know how to love. See what your guy is. Really, do you think he's a mean person? Or just stupid guy who doesn't know what to do to really show you love?

good luck

[nice_lil_sprout]

Well, if you're not being given what you desire, why stick around to waste your time and money? Love comes both ways, not just one. Although, it has been a week, and it's really hard to change so quickly, does he seem, at all, enthusiastic about giving? That's something you should be looking for because if he's not showing it now, I doubt he'll show it later.

[Anonymous]

yeah that's the best way men (well really anyone) really learns is if they see how it feels. when people show you who they are through there actions believe them. it makes no sense for you to be doing the most if your not gitting half that in return. if he's not trying why should u?

[RealDeal]

Well Rome wasn't built in a day. Ultimatum's are not the best way to get a guys attention either. On that note, you can only be responsible for your actions and two wrongs don't make a right. Maybe, take a step back and don't go out of your way to be there for him. He might not be jumping to return the favor for all the things that you do, but don't forget we all love differently. Just because he isn't going to the extreme doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Some guys are not comfortable with romance (although we love it when she shows us) I think the main thing you should be focusing on is how "appreciative" he is to you. Does he value what you do, is what you are asking. Well, what about the things he does for you? What is it that you value? Whatever it is, tell him (we are not mind readers, we don't know what you like and can't find ways of improving if you don't tell us). Now, I don't mean pin pointing the things we don't do... The things he does do (i.e. If he is constantly late and he shows up on time, "You know how much appreciate it when you show up at the time you said you would. I love it when my man is a man of his word").

People don't change over night but they can find ways of improving with the right approach.

Good Luck.

[Cupcakecutie0]

You need to break up with him. He won't change. The only reason he wouldn't do anything for you is he doesn't like you as much as he says and he just wants sex.

Thats the extreme and I bet your saying that's not it he said he loves me! well.. actions speak louder then words. Sorry! but god I wish I had a girlfriend like you.

[AlyssaMarie093]

Well since you love him, I reccomend giving him the cold shoulder, its hard trust me. But if you want results, or if you want to know if he is worth your time, see if he will chase after you. Because you deserve better, especially since you only see him once or twice a week, good luck.

[Trihill]

you should break up if you're not getting the basics...save yourself the long-term heart ache

[Just4me]

I feel the same way in my relationship but I live with mine and he has asked me to marry him