Male Coworker denied my friend request , Why? & How do I handle the “awkwardness” at work?

[Anonymous]

I started this new job in December. Most of my coworkers are nice and friendly, so I decided to add some on Facebook. There’s this male coworker at my work who is always looking at me. We always had small conversations but never really talked. We rotate in sections at my job so most of the time when I’m at a spot where he knows one of the coworkers I’m working with , he would come over and talk to them and just always glance at me and smile. It confuses me because I feel like he’s kind of flirting with me or attempting to have a conversation with me. When I tried to add him on Facebook yesterday he simply denied it. And I feel completely embarrassed and stupid because I feel like the shit he was doing was just in my head. Anyways, how do I act normal at work? And what do you think he didn’t accept my friend request? And yes he’s active on it.

[jennifer_bloom]

Don't take it personally. A lot of people have clear grounds they don't mix business with social cause they don't want people gossiping about who they are dating or having events in their social life effect their professional employment.

Don't take it personally. I know a friend didn't really believe me when I said I got invited to karaoke gatherings and that made me wonder if he thought I was a loser cause he always acted like he liked who I was as a person and always said good things about me - then finally I concluded maybe he just didn't think I was the type to socialize or attract large crowds - but it doesn't necessarily mean that he does not like me as a friend or that he thinks I'm a loser of some sort. On top of that he was a bigger loser than me too.

[lovemedammit]

i think you misread him. I would move on and never talk about it it seems he does not like you in that way.

[JanuaryCanine]

He probably just wants to keep his work life and social life separate.

[abc3643]

You do nothing.
Here is why it was denied.: MANY people like to keep their work and private life separate. This is smart. Facebook is a type of "bar" where you hang out with friends and bitch about your job. We all need to vent about our jobs at times. If our coworkers are on Facebook and are our Facebook friends, then we can't vent about work on Facebook otherwise what we say quickly becomes office gossip.

I use FB a lot less now. Why? A boss FB friends requested me. I felt I had to accept because I don't want to alienate him. Now I can't bitch about work... or politics or anything else. I can't be me anymore so what's the point?

[abc3643]

Keep in mind that this is NOT a personal thing. This has nothing to do with you. If you can go through his FB Friends list (and you might not be able to - I expect that you cannot), you would see few, if any, of his current coworkers in that list.

Once one of you leaves the job, mmmaybe try again and he will accept.

[Ghen28]

This is why I have a fake name on facebook so none of my managers or coworkers can find me on fb. Plus I blocked them all way ahead of time just in case.

[abc3643]

@Ghen28 It's why I have a "fake" account here.

[Ghen28]

Problem?

[abc3643]

@Ghen28 No, not at all.

By using a user ID that has nothing to do with my personal life, I:
1. Spare the people in my personal life from any heartache or problems. (*)
2. Am freer to be myself and speak truth which would otherwise hurt them or hurt me. It's a way to go anonymous without going Anonymous.

(*) Why the mask?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kql4tda9TQ

[OlderAndWiser]

1. He may already have a girlfriend.
2. He may not want to mix work and pleasure.
3. Some guys flirt occasionally just to stay in practice.
4. Maybe he wants to do the chasing and thought you were being forward (extremely old school, but some guys are extremely old school)
5. Maybe he is playing hard to get.

At work, ignore what happened with your friend request. The odds of him talking about it are about 1/50.

[Ghen28]

Maybe he noticed you were staring at him a lot so he smiled back at you but didn't know what to say. He probably came to the conclusion that you liked him, thus he denied your friend request. It could happen. That or he didn't want to mix pleasure with work, or he has a girlfriend, or the girlfriend saw your friend request and deleted you. Either way, I would just ignore what happened and focus on your job more than him.

[humanearth]

Why would you want to. Get rid of the socialist media and stay in the real world. You Young people are so fooled by it that you think you need it to live. Face Book is the stupidest thing ever created.

[larry69]

I would ignore him. If he tries to talk to you other than normal work related needs then ask him to leave you alone. If he stares at you politely tell him you are with someone or to stop looking. If he then persists go to HR or your manager.

[winterfox10]

Some people don't like work to touch their private life, it's a way to keep things comfortably separated for them. Don't take it personally.

[Ioso29640]

Before making friend requests, make sure you tell them first.

[ChocolateCheesecake]

It's not a big deal? Just be your normal self

[PondyPand]

It's a fucking friend request. Grow up.

[DDpsy]

You "never realy talked" so why would he add you?