GUYS age 22-32: Would you date a woman with a kid?

Question

I have a 2 year old daughter and am no longer with her father. I'd just like to get some diverse opinions on how guys in my age range feel about dating a woman with a kid. I'm not looking fo a replacement father for her. I don't have "baby daddy drama" either. I just want to go out on a regular date that doesn't have anything to do with being a mommy. I'm 21 and I really just want to go out to a movie, batting cages, mini golf, dinner or something fun like that as a date with a decent guy. Guys how would you feel about taking a girl out if she had a young kid?

TheGodEmperorLeto · Accepted Answer

Honestly, I don't think I could. She might be awesome, but she can't give the time and focus needed for a relationship as it just starts off if she has a kid. The kid HAS to come first and I agree with that. There's no way, no matter how much either of us wishes and hopes, she could be an attentive good girlfriend at the beginning phases of a relationship while ALSO being a good mother.

I mean, there's always a chance I'll give it a try, but the logical side of me tells me I'll either be doing harm to the child by taking her mother's time and focus a bit from the child (a big no no especially for such a young child) or I'll be neglected cause she needs to focus on the child and I'll feel bad and basically alone anyways without the ability to find another person and move on. It seems like a lose/lose situation for the most part with a less than 1% chance of possibly working out. At least over here in the US where we don't even have extended family around usually to help raise our kids.

That's a big reason I'm kinda sad with our society. We have, at most, the nuclear family (parents/siblings) around and they tend to be busy themselves (at least siblings) to help raise a kid. Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, etc all used to help raise kids back in the day and that was a good thing. It also gave time to the parents to stay strong by having alone time with each other. Now we need babysitters and those are hard to find really good ones sometimes. Then again, there are problems since relatives/whatnot are sometimes the ones who do the harm to the child (like sexual abuse :|).

Oh, and I know you're not looking for someone to replace her father, but if I were to date a girl with a kid I'd feel obligated to help with the child if only to make the mother happy. Not necessarily being her/his father exactly, but something close or whatnot and that is something I am just not ready for at this point in life.

But ya, I don't think I could do it :\ sorry if that doesn't give you hope, but I'm sure there are guys who'll try. But ya, this is why I also advocate people not have sex too quickly when they meet someone and wait until they are sure they could see it being a relationship that lasts for their entire life. Now, I'm not saying you rushed, but that's usually the case. People rush, girl gets pregnant, guy turns out to suck or just leaves like the coward he is. It makes me sad :\

ryanrhino · Accepted Answer

You may find a person of similar age in the same situation, but a different sex. You'd be pleasantly surprised to find a mature man at 21, and there are those out there!

You know what you want, having learned so much so fast in your life.

You having a child will impact who wants to date you, as you will quickly find the guys you're looking for, as they'll be accepting of your situations early on and adapt quickly.

Having a child will definitely show your maturity to the guys you're dating and their maturity to you in one brief conversation. Be prepared for lots of rejection, but when the right one appears, you'll know in your heart AND your MIND!

Tamikaze · Accepted Answer

The moms that have problems with dating are the ones whose baby's father plays no part in the child's life and they have no childcare to help so that they can date. I have seen some posts where the moms are expecting a guy to date them and their child immediately. Sorry, but even guys that eventually will show more interest in your child and maybe even become a father figure are not going to want to date a woman they don't even know with a kid tagging along. How can they kiss you or flirt with you in front of a child? It is too much to expect of any guy.

So, barring that extreme, women with children are date-able but not all guys are going to consider it. I had a long term relationship with a man who did not want children at all and wasn't particularly comfortable with young children either. He ended up really liking my daughter but we took a while to date on the weeks I did not have her before he ever met her. We were together 3 years and lived together for one of those years. It can happen.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

OMG! I can't believe some of the responses you have gotten to this! I have a 4YO son, who spends every weekend with his dad and one night during the week. We are divorced but still get on quite well, so I have plenty spare time (after seeing friends etc - to spend with someone)! I don't think you should judge anyone on anything! I never had a problem meeting guys, but MY problem is meeting a decent enough guy out there that I would want to introduce to MY SON! Never mind if they want involved with someone with a kid! My son (and I) deserve more than narrow-minded judgements!

lala-193 · Accepted Answer

it would probably be hard find a guy your age who will date a women with a kid but as you get older it will become less of a problem. kids are a lot of responsibilty and most guys in their twenties aren't ready to take that on. my mom was a single mom and while I was growing had three serious relationship, now she's married the third guy...dont give up hope

PHILR · Answer

i've answered just alittle bit ago a similiar question.

sure guys will .

i did my wife had a 1 year old when we first met. husband was a jerk and a player. kicked her out

after a yr. of trying to reconcile she finally filed for divorce. she left the state she was in to stay with a friend in another state. this her friend was mine also . her friend set us up (played cupid) must have worked we've been together foe 40 yrs. now

have 5 grandkids 4 boys and the youngest a girl.

1st off let me make some conclusions about your post. you've been married , had a child and now notwith him. being in the age group you've posted (18-24) please don't take what I say as

flaming you because you may not be klike that at all.

however girls in this age bracket in high school generally go for the (what believed to be) drool worth hot hunks that are players /badboys / or just plain jerks. who cheated ,flirted with other girls even in their presence, ignored them ,sexed them up, verbialy or physical abused them.

he either left you because he was cheating or just didn't want you around anymore, or you wised up and decided to leave him because of how he was treating you (which could have been any number of reasons which also would be the cheating part as well). this is just a generalized

statement on such circumstances but the general jest of what happens.

ok you want a guy to go out with a guy you say that is decent and will treat you right.(note : about ex: you want a decent guy to go out with so one can assume by that statement the ex. wasn't a decent guy)

the decent guys you may want to go out with are unfortunately the tyoe of guys you may have rejected in high school for any number of reasons.

most likely not your type

boring

predictable

and the list may go on for awhile because you may see where I'm going

yes many of these guys may have appeared to have been this

but its a proven fact that girls in general by the time they reach 25 or slightly older come to realize that these are in fact the type guys they want and need for stable long term relationships.

its an also proven fact that these same guys are better fathers, husbands, and providers and 95% of the time will not cheat on their partner. they may be cheated on occassionally also but not often.

this isn't me just saying this but older women that say this about this type of guy(the nice guys that generally got overlooked in high school by many girls)

final conclusion : find a different type guy than the type guy your ex was you'll be a lot happier in the long run at the end.

honeyltsme · Answer

Honestly it depends on how hot you are.

At my age - which is admittedly beyond your range - I tend to only date women that I would be willing to marry - which is apparently more than what could be said for the baby's daddy. Being left with a kid is of course a humbling experience for a female, so few girls would remain stuck up or shallow or immature after bringing up a kid from 0 to 2 y.o. That largely takes care of your character. That's the rationale for my otherwise shallow sounding opening line.

Presumably you do not want some loser. Good guys, guys with options, guys with hearts, will have to raise this kid as their own. That's significant resources that could otherwise be spent on "toys" or just to have a great time together. On the other hand your youth and hopefully looks are a valued commodity also.

I suggest you make sure you are in the best shape of your life, and broaden your dating horizons age wise. It is far better to get married to some 40y.o. dude who is in a flawless shape, adores you and kid and has lots of money, great looks, sense of humor, amazing in bed, then fall prey to some 22y.o. dude with marginally acceptable looks and who might think you are simply an easy target because you have a kid. I am not saying there aren't 40y.o. douches - those 22yo kids survive to be 40 also (sad but true, lol), but you get my point. Look for maturity (with an inner child still alive) and broaden your horizons. And take great care of yourself.

Jawless · Answer

Well I would look at her age first, because I'm that sort of person to judge based on a cover. Seeing someone who is under 25 with a young kid, not a baby, or in your case, 21 with a kid, would cause me to think bad things and likely insult you in my head, because I would consider you to be unchaste, not have the ability to control yourself and also be very uncaring when it comes to the more 'love' side of a relationship.

Not..trying to be nasty. It's just what I would think..so in essence, it's what I think of you now..ack, it's hard to explain without tripping over my own wire. Trying to maintain a friendly and positive view has pretty much been shattered.

Basically I don't like young people with children, and seeing that would make me think that they were pretty bad prospects for a future relationship with - I'd want to settle down, and seeing you alone, with a child, would say to me that while you may of had all the right commitment ideas, you couldn't hold a relationship and you've made bad decisions. Or something like that. I can't really explain it.

I also don't like people with baggage, I'd want a fresh start to a relationship so I would be their first, and them my first. Since I already have a relationship this way, I'm guessing if it fails I will be pretty screwed. But a woman with a kid will be carrying a lot of baggage, no matter the age. And that would harm my feelings for the dating prospects.

So short answer to your question: NO.

Didn't mean to offend you or anything...sorry if I did. :(

snowboarder720 · Answer

whats funny is that I just met a special girl who I thought was worth dating. Although she has a 1 year old daughter, I thought that if her and I get along great together shed be worth my time and not to mention I'd treat her so much better than her last douche boyfriend...

We lived in different cities (60 minutes away), and wed talk everynight on the phone.

After a week or so, it was hard to carry a conversation with her over the phone because she always gave me those "one word" answers. I later took her on a date, we ate at Chile's, and took her to a movie. overall it was a pretty damn good date. I thought it was fun.

... then suddenly after that night she all of a sudden stopped talking to me. haha, I don't know what went wrong. She smiled at me the entire night, laughed at my jokes, told me she had a great time when we hugged goodbye... I don't feel obligated to talk to her if I'm going to be the only engine to this relationship, so I'm wating for her to talk to me. She doesn't talk to me anymore, and I still to this day don't have a clue why

DamieWamie · Answer

It depends. A lot of guys that age would be looking to settle down, so a kid present would make it seem easier I guess. For my age grouo however 19-25, we are still testing the waters with women we like, trying to get a feel for what traits we would like in a woman later on for marriage. That means going through a few relationships, some of which we know will be temporary. However, when a kid is in the picture, it almost signifies that we don't have the option of leaving because it would be heartless to abandon the kid (thats really just my perspective, some guys just don't give a sht about the kid, just wants sex). So, we try to avoid relationships like that that would be hard to leave.

Its great tho that you are looking for someone older than you. One of my best friends is in this situation as the kid, and his mom is dating someone older than her. He says they are pretty much really serious at this point, and theyve been dating for about a year and a half now. Go for it! Your kid can be a benefit AND a determent, but more a benefit than anything. I LOVE kids, I like the idea of dating a woman with a kid, then I get to show her how much I love kids. I just don't like the idea of leaving him and her if it comes to that.

DonMichelle · Answer

Depends on how I felt about, NEVER should a person be deprived of affection because they have a child! Men forget they've got it easy not having a womb, not being forced into raising a child from a loveless relationship, having to focus thier lives on raising that child that only they (the mother) care about. I was raided by a single mum, only as I've aged have I realized her sacrifice... happiness with a man who wants a childless woman/happiness loving, caring, giving all she can to her son! I F***ING LOVE MY MUM AND HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES AS I WRITE THIS! If men prefer women without children... treat your woman well, don't abandon her!

Anonymous · Answer

Well, personally, I probably wouldn't, but that's only because I haven't had any dating experience to date yet.  It would be really weird to go on your first date with someone who's several steps ahead of you, experience-wise.  Plus, even if the dating started out innocently enough, what if one of us fell in love?  While I personally don't see anything wrong with marrying a woman with a child (hey, my dad did with my mom), I am not yet ready for such a thing, financially or maturity-wise.  I know realistically I will probably have to marry a mother, if only because the statistics lean heavily in that direction.  Sure, I'd love to start out fresh with a woman who is just as new to this as I am, but that's probably not going to happen.  What really bothers me about that?  I would always be the "step"-dad: I wouldn't get respected or even liked very much, and I'd forever feel like the 3rd wheel.   The only reason I didn't have that problem with my dad is because I didn't even learn that he was my step-father until I was a teenager!   :P  So, yeah, if I can avoid a mess like that again, I'd gladly hold out for a woman with no attachments.  :(  Sorry, but that's how I feel.

TheLoneWanderer · Answer

I feel that a woman with a child or children will not have time to spend with me alone. You have responsibilities that I have no interest in at this point in my life. Especially with young children who can't look after themselves. It's not necessarily a bad thing you have kids, its just I'm not looking for a situation where I have to tip toe around another man's child especially if the child is a brat or misbehaves alot. If I got to know you and really really liked you I'd give it a shot, but changing diapers and cleaning up baby messes is not on my list of things to do in the near future.

BourneEndeavor · Answer

I can honestly say I am at an impasse, at least to some extent. I have thought about children and if I have any wish to have them in the future but am not at all certain I would be ready for that level of commitment. Ironically, I am fairly confident I could adapt since apparently I am excellent with children according to just about everyone, even if initially I always thought otherwise. Suppose I have the patience and surprisingly enough them (my cousins are adorable) but as mentioned it would be a step I am not certain I would want to take. My goals in life are very career oriented, which alone would require much dedication. I have also wanted to travel and have hobbies that are both time consuming and costly. At my current age, I cannot say I would want to cut into that. Of course, I am speaking with a long term in mind.

Frankly, it would heavily be dependent on how I felt about the girl and how we connected. If we have similar interests and she was someone awesome who I loved being around. I admit, after finding out I would consider it and am somewhat leaning on sticking through. I would weigh my options and the effect it would have on my goals. One thing I would be, is up front that this may not be something I want to handle in the sense I'd need time to think.

Admittedly, if she were still involved with her ex, I would be weary but the only assured deal breaker is if I find myself having to front all bills and what have you. That I have no time for. Granted, I feel that way around any woman, child or not. I want her to support herself, not rely entirely on me.

TimeAndTimeAgain · Answer

It depends on how old the kid is. 2 years old is a reasonable age, and I wouldn't mind being her "father figure" if things were to get serious between us. I love kids, especially girls (I don't know why, but male kids have a harder time getting along with me), so it wouldn't be a problem. I play with kids all the time and love doing it because they laugh a lot and I love being silly, so it wouldn't be much of a problem with me.

I wouldn't mind going out with someone like you. You seem like a nice-enough girl. The activities you described are the kind of things I like doing with people. If I liked you both physically and emotionally, I wouldn't be bothered by the fact that you have a 2-year-old little girl. =p

Seraphim · Answer

I'm 23 and to be honest it doesn't bother me at all. I like children, and I don't penalize women for having children. As long as I can get along with the woman, I'll date her. Most guys are freaked out by the prospect of potentially becoming a father, but the truth is that if you happen to fall in love with a woman with a child, you will probably end up very excited by the prospect of adopting. Just my 2 cents. If a guy won't give you a chance simply because you have a child, be happy, because that guy isn't worth your time. Don't get me wrong, some guys have valid reasons for avoiding women with children, but guys who automatically dismiss a woman because she has a child without even taking time to understand and examine the situation is just missing out on a potentially good relationship.

golfer_wi · Answer

Sort of in the same boat.  Guess I'd start by saying kids should not be considered baggage.  Sort of a little insulting to the little ones.  I think a lot of the guys have given similar answers.  Sure, I'd date you.  Mostly depends if I'm attracted to you and how well we'd fit.  Really, you and your daughter are sort of a package deal.  And it does depend on how much drama there is with the father/ex.  We all need a partner in our lives.  So yes, go date, and there are lots of guys out there who would still be interested.

ossander · Answer

I would not.  I love kids, so that's not the issue.  But I'm in my late 20s, and at this point I'm only going to date a woman if I see a serious future with her.  What it boils down to is that I want nothing more than to have a family and raise kids.  I just want them all to be mine.  I don't want a complicated family unit, I want it to be fairly simple - me, my wife, and OUR kids.  I'm sure there are lots of guys out there who wouldn't mind, and maybe some who would even really like it.  I'm just not one of them.

Mudpuppy · Answer

No I wouldn't. That doesn't make me a bad person, it's just personal chose. I would wish to raise kids of my own and invest in them. I would not want to invest in another mans sperm. I know that might sound bad to some militant females but as said... It's personal choise and I respect any man who does settle down with a woman with kids.

Both men and women need to realize that a child is for life and you should choise to become a parent more carefully because like it or not a child suffers with only one parent.

Maybe when I'm 50, bald and her kids have moved out I'll review my decision.

Yeahhbro · Answer

There are very few men that would, but must won't as it is a hassle for them too, because you will come between your son and him and that is when it gets complicated. Also the father of your son can also get involve in the relationship, as he might want to get you back to build a "proper family" or he might fight with you about whatever there is about your son and your new husband might get involved. It is just a lot of more drama and problems to be honest.

I would but with two conditions

1) I would not get involved in anything related to your son and his father.

2) And if I am able to punish him like he was my own son/daughter

3) His father has to contribute as well in his son/daughter school, clothing and fun.

If you say no to any of these then forget it.

eldamien · Answer

To be honest, when I was 22-25ish, I was not interested in dating someone with kids. Once you have kids that sortof indicates you're ready to settle down. Also, kids are expensive. Super expensive. I was still getting my life set up - buying a house, paying off debt, getting my car paid down, so on, so forth.

If I'm being honest, though, as soon as I hear there are kids involved, I lose interest most of the time. It's just too much to get involved in. That's just me, though. There are plenty of decent guys out there that will be more than happy to step in and raise kids as their own, but for me, I would pass pretty consistently on dating girls with kids.

bersaba · Answer

To be blunt, if I was single no I wouldn't date a person with a young child. (about less then 4). The 0-4 child range I don't find anything cute or enjoyable about, just a lot of work and frankly I'm not interested in it. Once you can converse with them and have a bit of play and interaction on a thinking level, I don't mind.

Now, if I happened to meet the woman of my dreams with a 2yr old I'd consider it, but I probably wouldn't consider her "the woman of my dreams" with a 2yr old.

No offense intended, just being honest.

WaleedHassanien · Answer

well, being 28 myself, first I don't care about the age of the girl because I care more about her soul, secondly mommies are much waiser than usual girl, so if you ask me, I think dating a girl who is wise and energitic in the same time isavery desirable thing...

StupidButCunning · Answer

I am 23, soon to be 24 and I would not. Simply because I would find it impossible to not be involved with the child when your daughter is clearly such a large portion of your life. Because of my moral beliefs, I never want children so I feel this would cause too much of a hindrance. However; there are plenty of guys who are willing to date mothers. They come in good and bad so you just have to stay on your toes. Don't immediately let them into your child's life and ease them in when you do. Judging by how they react with her the more you involve them in her life will tell you if they are of the good type or bad type of guys.

tibo1979 · Answer

Having a relationship with someone who has a kid is a responsible choise. But it can work out great. I've seen many relationships like this around me that do work. As long as people are aware of the fact that these kiddos need the right (parental)attention as well.

I hope going out doesn't mean dumping the kid at grandmas and grandpas every weekend, cause that's just beeing shallow and ignorant.There's a difference between guys who'd see you as a milf or a milm : mom id like to marry. :)

Phoenix52 · Answer

Depends on circumstances.

I'd date a girl with a kid if she's cool enough and we get along well. But any instance of her getting back with the ex, talking crap about the ex, or any other negative issues at hand will be her grounds for dismissal. Also includes replacing me as the father. That's not happening.

Any girl with 2 kids or more = no thanks. I don't have any children so why should I have to put the extra work into getting along with 3 human beings, rather than 1 or 2? I'd rather keep my love life simple and easy.

PeterCobra · Answer

i have taken a vow not to ever do it again but I had a BAD experience with it.  dated a girl for like 5 years, helped raise her kid who had a absent dead beat dad.  I married her, a year later she left me for some rich dude. I was just a stepping stone starter husband to get her out of mammas house.  then she upgraded again...and will probably do it again if she meets an even richer dude.   I poured too much time into that kid.  all for nothing and I haven't seen him since.  next time I put all that effort into a child it will be my own.  but if that would have never happened to me I might not feel this way.  I just got a bad taste in my mouth for girls with kids and for somebody else it really might be a great thing.

DirtyDlish · Answer

having kids should not be a prob you just have to keep in mind the type of people you bring around now.i have a little girl   this is not a prob for me cause all girls seem to lover her.   For you  I would say still not hard you just need help with getting out and meeting people and making time for yourself. Get someone to help with your kid while you go out. key is not to have expectations   things will happen

Blinky · Answer

I'm 19 and I'm open to dating a girl with a child. My friend had a baby in December and I asked her out not to long ago cause her baby daddy is gone as well. She said no but that's a different story haha. Most guys might be afraid, but there are quite a few who are not.

Distant · Answer

I'm 21 but I hope I can still help? A girl can have a child and it won't affect her chances of going out with me. I mean, it's preferable to date a girl who has a more open schedule, as you can imagine. As long as she's not the only thing you talk about (Don't get me wrong, your child is important). If you can maintain a semi-normal relationship and are the guy's type then he shouldn't have a problem with it.

~Distant

Slugworth99 · Answer

My age is higher than your upper bracket there.  However, I will tell you this.  Single parents (both male and female) are becoming more and more common.  If a guy has a hang-up about you being a single mom, move on.  He is going to be hard pressed to find a mate in some circles.  You sound like you have a good head on your shoulder that you are not looking for a daddy only.  You want to make sure that any guy you get involved with treats your daughter well.  If you get real serious with a guy, I would dig into his history - up to and including a background check if you are considering marriage.  That 2-year-old's safety should take priority over everything else.  My best wishes to you.

Ugliness · Answer

I'm a little older than 32. BUT... if I had the opportunity I would have loved to date a woman with a child. I volunteered at a daycare centre at the time and loved it. Kids are wonderful. It never came to be. But my wife and I both liked the idea of a baby (who is now a ten year old) and I was overjoyed. I had the easy part, of course.  But I took the baby everywhere I went, shopping, playgroups, everything.  I never had the pleasure of dating someone with children but back then I would have done it in a minute.

davrok · Answer

I know you want a opinion from guys in that range but what you're getting for the most part is a bunch of crap.  Most (not all) guys in that age bracket would not  want a relationship with a girl with a child. End of.  Some, the worst types, might date you with the idiotic belief that somehow a girl with a child is more into sex.  You will find plenty of dates, but you're going to have to be very discerning who you see before you meet someone who would accept you for who you are and not have any problem or insecurities over you having a child.

tc1125 · Answer

I probably would, but it would be something that might make me say no. depends who the girl was really, if she was all I was looking for then I don't see why not.

I think if someone wants to have kids of their own, they might be a little against the idea because there may be less chance of them having kids with that person. Also for me, if I was going to have kids with someone I'd prefer it if the girl didn't already have kids because then it would make it 'our first kids' if that makes sense.

anyway, I don't think you should worry too much about whether guys will go out without you or not :) if they like you then I think they would, regardless of whether you have children.

tmlsmurfs · Answer

No, not at this point

1. If I was with a girl who had a kid, I'd then feel like I'd have to play war with the kid's biological father, unless of course the father is the type of guy guy who deserves to get his balls cut off.

2. I don't really like the need of feeling I have to support one, especially when you don't know if you'll marry this girl, then your money is BOOM GONE.

At a later point,

1. If I was divorced at an age of 22-32 and she had kids and I did yeah, because there's an even support, I look after hers, she looks after mine.

2. I CERTAINLY DON'T PLAN THIS. but if I had a kid and not with his/her mother, then yes I would because again, even support.

Also in general at this point, how much time would you be able to spend with the girl if she had one, you couldn't go out a lot, because babysitters etc, lots of them, and if you can't get one, no date etc.

That's my way of looking at it, hope it helped.

giovanni420 · Answer

Well I'm gonna be honest. Either its my caffeine wearing out or just its Sunday. From what it sounds like you seem to pretty normal, like to go out, ect. Honestly, as long as your not complaining about the babys daddy 24/7 and just be yourself I don't see any problem. I've been on dates with single moms, and sometimes its just interesting how much they unwind just being away for a little bit.

Also looks kind of matter if your not like 200 lbs, but I mean if your in decent shape, and have a kid that says a lot on how you know how to balance your life, you know?

kriskiss · Answer

If I was really into a chick a lot and had feelings for her I would go out with her...but if I was not into her then I wouldn't bother. because guys like being a girls first prioroity and he knows he never will be because the kid will be. and that's great...nothings wrong with that. a kid should come first. but that's what most guys feel.

i was once having an affair with a women who had two kids but that did not last long...she was not over her x plus she was 15 years older or more I forget...but there was no future there.

Erik_Andersson · Answer

I have dated two girls with kids. Sure, a guy thinks about it, and if he could choose he would like the girl to be without kids. Like she would want him. But we don't always get what we want. I think it is perfectly possible to date a girl with kids, yes. And like honeyItsme so succinctly put it, it depends on how hot a girl is.

Honestly, girls think too much about things like what to wear, what makeup to use, how to arrange this or that ... if you have a waistline and your appearance is average or upward, you can get away with pretty much anything.

ZenSpace · Answer

No I would not date a woman with a kid. Women with kids do not "date" the screen for potential fathers. When you date a woman with a kid you are not just dating her, you are auditioning for a slot in a pre-packaged family.

The reason I won't do that is cause I don't want kids. If I did want kids it would probably be a different story.

I have no interest, at this point in my life, in being a "replacement dad."

Anonymous · Answer

I'm actually sort of in this situation.. anyway..if your fit then I will probably ask you out and try to have a playful type of relationship but to be honest it will only be casual and I would find it hard to be very serious but that is probably because I am still studying and wouldn't have the means to start supporting a woman and two children yet.

I'm actually torn on weather I should pursue the girl I mentioned because I feel like maybe she will think I want to commit and start taking care of her family. She has been hurt before and I would hate to hurt her again, but at the same time I think we could have fun just as two adults and maybe I could help her forget about the kids for a while. Dunno... what do you think?

The_Thinker · Answer

I have before, and determined I'm not in that stage of my life that I want to be in a serious relationship with someone with a kid.  I'd give her a chance though, if I didn't think we had something special I'd stop after 2-3 dates.  Watch out for guys just wanting sex though, they seem to look at women with kids as easy.  Best of luck!

mike5150 · Answer

I would date a women with a kid but I would like to know a few things. Such as do you still have feelings for the father? How often is the father in the childs life? And how much time can you make for are relationship if your taking care of a child and possibly going to work or what other dutys you may have?

I would be willing to take her and her kid out as well if it makes it easier for her but I would still like to have some personal dates 1 on 1 with her as well.

thisGUYknows · Answer

im 23 and honestly I will try to stay away from it. most guys will get scared and think the girl wants a part-time baby daddy who's willing to step up to full time. now if I got to know a girl that I was attracted to and she told me later on she had a kid I would have to do a little studying. is she serious about working and/or going to school to better her life? or is she waiting to be rescued?

countrychick · Answer

I am 27 with a 3yr old and 2yr old. My boyfriend is 33 with a 14 year old, 12 year old and a 9 year old. He loves my children as they are his own. He is a wonderful man, he does a lot with and for them. I was truly blessed when we was set up on a blind date. We've been together for a year now. We have a perfect blended family. Good luck finding a awesome man. They are few and far between.

Anonymous · Answer

not saying children are like stds at all..theyre gifts, BUT...i think the dating situation could be handled much in the same way. this is how it is relatable to me...dating with stds is tough too.

you just date and tell them later when you're ready but before you get serious. or you use dating sites for single parents. or you make friends who know you have a kid and flirt with them...

its easier than dating with stds because you can tell people you know about your kid and its not weird. like you think a guys cute. become his friend, tell him about all your stuff, then be like super amazing and get him to date you lol.

idk just use your charms to pull people in and help them realize kids are your situation. let them decide if they could handle that responsibility...if not on to the next one.

maybe you should join some sort of single parenting group and flirt with guys there lol.

Lovelesspassion · Answer

I decided a while ago that if the girl I liked had a kid I would still like her...

it depends on how you tell him and how he feels about having a kid befor having sex...

If you find a guy who likes your for you then it dosnt matter what baggage you have...

greese · Answer

I had the chance to go out with a girl who had a kid and she was beautiful. Her kid was awesome as will. she wasn't looking for a father replacement and was in to me. I was 21 so it kind of scared me, but if I had the chance I would date that woman.

Sometimes I would imagine playing video games and football with the kid just as a friend.

HomoErectus · Answer

i guess a poll would do better here, I'd date a women with a kid, and at that point I wouldn't take the women serious but just fun. for a serious relationship I'd try to get me a women with no kids and there should be some... now if I already fell for one with a kd, if she's really worth it I'd stick to it. All in a figurative way.

uncle_answers · Answer

Been there, done that! It isn't a problem - but be careful you make sure he knows how much of a dad/stepdad he is to be, and don't introduce the child to him until you are sure the relationship's going somewhere!

blacklagoon · Answer

i don't mind but the thing that scares some guys is not only do they have to "impress" you but your child and if your kid doesn't like thim then there more stress on the relationship. Also if the guy desides to breakup with you then he also may feel like he's hurting the kid to, but that's later down the line of course.

prettymuscle · Answer

Well am under your age list ( 24 to 36) and no I would not get serious with a women who has a kid, I mean we can talk and come over but nothing serious as in feelings, even if I was 24 years old or older my mine set will never change, I may even be worse, What you don't under stand is when a guy see's a kid they run cause they think she just want money for the kid like really

Anonymous · Answer

I would be hesitant. A person would be afraid of paying child support for the kid that's not mine. Its just luggage. Nothing against the kid but a guy wants to start a fresh start when going into a serious relationship. If the kid is older then it might be alright. Everyone pictures a good family with their own kids and not having strings attached to other kids outside the circle and dealing with the ex. One thing a girl can do to get a guy is look super hot. Aim to look hot. Turn on the guy a lot. Just go all out. Make yourself as real hot for that can be the exception to the kid. Super hotness over rules the kid in a lot of situations :). You gotta give a reason for a guy to over look the kid. If you are out of shape and looking for someone then the kid will tear up your dates to shreds. Just put yourself in a guys shoes. If the girl has good looks to offer still then its a good possibility. It shows she's willing to make a new start. To start good and clean also.

Maestr077 · Answer

I'm 28, and yes, I would. Although I'm sure some guys wouldn't.

I love children, playing with them and all that but I've always been afraid to have my own, it's a huge responsability. Thinking of that you having children could be a plus but it ain't.

Men and women, we are all possessive and I'm sure you can never give a man all your love when you have a children of your own, if the guy you'll date doesn't get attached to your kid he might feel jealous sometimes.

Anonymous · Answer

i have a 3 year old daughter. I've been asked out alot, even proposed to by few. and two of them are serious. to father my kid. and theyre my age. but I have no time for love yet  because I wanna get my own life and my kid's together first. yes I do take care of myself like looking my best for myself not to get a daddy for my baby. and honey, a lot of guys would do anything if you are worth it. and I know you r. :)

xamy90x · Answer

I'm 21 with a 2.5 year old who still sees her father regularly. I have a new boyfriend who is amazing with her, never had a problem dating guys because I have a child, it just sorts out the ones who are just there for "fun" and the ones that are wanting "commitment".

WeaponZero · Answer

I'm 30, turning 31 in a couple weeks.  Would I date a woman with a kid?  Yes.  Would I date a 21 year old?  I wouldn't rule it out completely but it's highly unlikely.  The age difference would be more likely to kill it for me than the fact that you have a kid.

Old_School55 · Answer

You will definitely find someone to date but it will be tougher.

I had a chance with a woman with a kid and I blew it because of of a weird reaction to not wanting any perceived additional responsibility, despite her not pressuring me at all.

My friend had a girflriend with a son and he always told me it was a bit more constrictive but fine.

Your child is the most important thing and you will need a thick skin to find the type of guy that is cool with it.

sigsauer45 · Answer

yes I would date a woman with kid,s as a guy with a son and no wife

i know how hare it is to find some one that will date a guy with a kid

so I know how you fill it can be a pain in the but and most guy I know

like kid and would not care if a woman had kid,s because there will be

less game and less game,s and have the kids can have fun going to place,s

and have lot of thing to do

Drake742 · Answer

I would take a girl out with a daughter, no worries, but I would be concious all the time of the changeing nature of the relationship. If things started to get serious, I would assume to eventual meet the girls daughter, but then I would have to decide whether I see myself with this girl as a long term/marriage material. Cause I couldn't be in a serious relationship and not care about the kid, or provide financially for them, It would just be weird.

jhpua954 · Answer

I'd date a girl with a kid, but she better be clear about her expectations.  Also, I wouldn't want to meet the kid unless the relationship has gotten really serious.

beastman88 · Answer

all about the guy and if he shares your interest of raising a family. personally I don't wanna be tied down, iam too young yet, I feel sorry for people my age and teens that have kids. a lot of responsibility, because your not #1 anymore.

id make an exception if the mother was exceptionally good looking, just like honeyitsme has said. then id wanna stick around, and maybe have kids with her

Anonymous · Answer

Yep as long as her p**** wasn't blown out. Sometimes the p**** is better after a kid though. I would hope she'd keep our relationship discreet as far as the kid goes at least at first. Probably not a good look to be dating various guys in front of your kid.

dx021 · Answer

i am 23 years old. I would date her casually but I would have -----NO----- interest in anything long term

Redbaren · Answer

if I was in that age range I would. but I would want a real relationship. but I would want the relationship to go somewhere. I wouldn't just want to be used to take her out and that's all.  because then that's just like being a buddy friend.

Anonymous · Answer

It's not what idealize when they think of who they want to marry, but if a guy really liked, I don't think a kid could stop him from being with her.  When think they wouldn't want to marry a girl with a kid, but if they found the right woman, that could change.  Good Luck!

GUYS age 22-32: Would you date a woman with a kid?

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GUYS age 22-32: Would you date a woman with a kid?

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