Why do guys flirt one day and ignore you the next?

[Anonymous]

Like they flirt with you one day by sending "mwah" through a text or whatever else, and then the next practically ignore the girl the next as if she doesn't exist. Especially when the guy knows that the girl likes him and they are good friends.

[Buckeye91]

Its all a game, on both parts,

Take it from me, a player, I do what you described when I want to build desire in the other person and it totally worked on you. Don't believe me? Your thinking of him and why he's doing that, its gotten to you so much you had to come on to here to ask about it face it you're stuck thinking about him hardcore not that its a bad thing and not that he's a player I'm just telling you the psychology of it all.

Another thing I'll do is send my first few texts, that is if I EVER text which I hate because its so impersonal and cowardly in my opinion, but I digress. I'll send the first few texts in a quick response type thing then I'll gradually slow down the speed at which I replay throughout the day. This makes you girls wait for that next text in the same way as above, it keeps me on your mind as well as subconsciously makes me more valuable and seem like a harder catch because you wonder what's taking my attention away from you.

Any more questions about why guys do what we do when we game and I'd be glad to tell you just ask away, I help girls with this stuff all the time.

[Asker]

You are right. I have been thinking of him a lot lately, and it's started to bother me because he's been so distant lately.. But I've kind of gotten used to it. He works nights.

I have a quick question again though. Me and him were doing that question game and I asked him if he's ever cheated on his past girlfriends, he told me he hasn't. But when I was in the car with him and his brother, he was telling his brother about how he had done it with his last gf's best friend. But lied to me...?

[Buckeye91]

Ok first of all if he said something like that in front of you then you should be wondering about that more than the distance. Why would you want to be with a guy that talks about having sex with his gf's best friend. The real question isn't is he lying its why is he trying to brag about something like that.

All honesty you should just move on to the next guy or at least pretend to this will make him rethink his strategy and his natural male competitiveness should jump in. if not? take a hint :(

[Buckeye91]

That came off sounding a lot more mean than I had meant ha ha sorry, but the thing is, personal philosophy here, you should never put all your eggs in one basket, its nice to have choices and it makes you more valuable if you have more going on and more people after you. BOTH men AND women want to be able to brag about their "catch" they want to be like "yeah that's right I won them over EVERYONE else" just human behavior

[Asker]

You know, I've tried putting it behind me and just forgetting about it (mostly cause it brings me down so much whenever I start wondering about it), seeing if maybe he's really different than he is. And whether he says he was drunk or not when it happened, it still really hurt me and I couldn't even look at him for the rest of the drive back to my house (because he was bringing me back home after the day spent together).

I didn't think it came off as mean, but you have a point though.

[Asker]

And the only question that kept coming into my head was "Why? Why would he say something like that in front of me when he knows I like him?" :/

I still wonder the same thing, but I can't seem to bring myself enough courage to ask him about it and why he said in the first place, or lied to me about apparently not cheating on any of his past girlfriends.

[Buckeye91]

Dont even bother asking, he'll just tell you what you want to hear and your infatuation will let you believe it, I'm just sayin red flag if there is this much turbulence already sounds like it'd be a real shaky and not trustworthy relationship. My best advice is to just move on. It might be tough at first but you'll look back later be glad you did because it kinda sounds like this guy is a tool and that's coming from me haha

[Asker]

haha, well at least you're being honest with me :)

And this is going to sound REALLY pathetic, but I've been trying now for over 6 months to try and get over him and I told him I liked him 9, almost 10 months ago... yeah~ lol this isn't working very well. And now I'm afraid that another guy might like me, and I really like this other guy still (obviously) and I'm afraid too that if I tell the other guy I like someone else, he'll be mad and/or never talk to me again (which has happened before).

[Buckeye91]

Then don't tell him, you're not required to be monogamous until you are official and sometimes not even then. Point is you should just assume that you are not their only option and they should assume they are not yours. to quote a horrible rapper "single doesn't mean I'm looking for somebody" take it like this, they have to win you over not be given you.

As a player I kind of have a small curse haha, I'm always really into a girl until I find out she likes me then I just move on to the next one

[Buckeye91]

Yeah it makes me sound like a d*** but its just that if I can get a girl easily I don't want her and trust I've done it so much its almost 2nd nature so its harder and harder to find the girl that keeps up a challenge. I probably need to chase a fellow player. Odd because the only reason I am one is because I was played, weird how things work out.

[Asker]

The only reason I've told other guys about me liking someone else is because they ask me if I do. Yeah I know, I don't HAVE to, but I was being, in a way, nice to them by letting them know since they asked and all, lol?

And I know for a fact that the guy I like right now isn't a player. He tends to talk about his ex a few times here and there, but nothing big. (They broke up almost 6 years ago...). Which I'm not gonna lie, concerns me. He might still have feelings for her and that alone scares me

[Lovesick40]

I am curious what satisfaction does it give a guy to do this? I mean for a girl it can make us feel like we are unimportant and disregarded, so what do you get out of this?

[Lovelesspassion]

1. Gets busy

2. Gets stressed

3. Other family issues

3.5. Depresed for some reason

And those are just the first few that have nothing to do with the girl..

4. Didn't feel you flirted back

5. You or a friend said somthing that question if you like him

6. He's hoping his lack of flirting will make you flirt more

7. He's worried he's flirting to much and you think he's clingy

8. He's worried he's bugging you when he texts

9. He started every texting conversation this week and wants you to start one

10. He's worried he doesn't know how or has already flirted every way he can

11. He's worried you don't like him flirting with you like he did..

And the list goes on and on...

Him not liking you is so far down the list its crazy.. If he's flirting then stops..

Dont worry right away.. Give him one day of no texting then flirt with him

Text him this.. "SMILE...or else... Jk :p"

Or somthing simular have fun with it..

[Asker]

Oh sweet, thanks! This definitely helps(:

[Anonymous]

I am going through this where the guy is playing hard to get and it just makes me like him even more. He gives me my space and he gets his space even if it takes him a month to respond. I enjoy that I have to chase him. It makes me wonder what he is doing and if he is thinking about me and so in turn it makes me think about him. I also do some of the playing hard to get too. Some girls like it and some girls don't. I am one that thought I would have given up if a guy did that to me but when it started happening then it just made me want him more. I was surprised at how I felt. Do both though. Maybe don't contact her everyday cause that can get annoying. I have guys who contact me everyday and I say not him again and I don't answer sometimes.

[eg148209]

I know this is 3 months ago but if you haven't figured it out yet and he's still doing this, he isn't interested. He's just stringing you along. I had a guy do this to me for over a year and it was HELL trying to figure him out. Eventually I told him how I felt (even though I'm pretty sure he already knew) and now it's like a weight being lifted off of my shoulders.

[Asker]

it's alright, your comments are always welcome :)

But I know exactly what you're talking about! The guy I was talking about led me on for almost a year too expecting me to think he liked me back, when in all reality, he never did. He was just flirting with me because he could. He says I'm cute/pretty but it never went passed that. He practically played me for an entire year. Yet I never moved on, not until I met someone else who showed me wth I even saw in the other guy.. He's so much better.

[mackal2]

i always find that boys are like alastic bands or something like that lol he'll probally start flirting again soon but then again he'll just stop and pretend not notice you. ( I know it's weird) I hoped this helped ;D

[Asker]

Ha, the elastic band is a good way to describe them! XD Fits almost perfectly.

[Phoenix52]

It's called "I have a life and I'm not desperate enough to give her so much bullsh*t attention."

Are you an attention-wh0re? You're sounding like it.

You want him to flirt more with you? Then go see him when you both have free time. Flirt in person.

[Asker]

We do flirt in person, I was just saying that the text thing was when we were apart/haven't seen each other in almost 2 months and it was while he was at work, so it's impossible to visit him and hang out.

And no, I'm NOT an attenion who re. Sheesh, And to think I came on here for advice...

[Asker]

And I'm not asking to hear from him 24/7, just want to hear from him a little more than 2 minutes when it's already after midnight. Ugh.. f***in' 30 year old doesn't know what he's talking about obviously.

[Phoenix52]

Don't be afraid to text him then. If you want to talk to him, then take action. If you ever leave it up to the guy to make contact, he will once in a while. But having to put all the effort into keeping contact can grow old pretty fast and we'll most likely take the hint and walk away if nothing comes of it.

[Asker]

I have been, but like I said before, he works evening/night range. Kind of hard to talk to him on the phone or text when he's working. And he works an hour away from me, so don't tell me that 'then go visit him at work' crap, cause it's not going to work.

[tmlsmurfs]

It could also be he had an interest in you that day and the next day he found a different girl who he had more interest in so he trying to flirt with you instead and forget you.

[Asker]

He's a really good friend of mine, I don't think he'd want to "forget about me". That would be pretty damn mean of him.

[LPLove]

I have a friend who was my best friend and he did the same thing, and then did just legit "forget about me." We don't talk anymore. So although "pretty damn mean" remember it is definitely possible! Not trying to bring you down, just letting you know some people are stupid. As I'm sure you have already figured out!

[Anonymous]

It's attitudes like these that make me ashamed to be a woman.

[Asker]

I don't have an attitude... I'm just trying to figure out something.

[Opinion Owner]

You're doing it wrong.

The easiest and most efficient way to deal with this is to stop waiting around for him to text you and flirt back. Or at least talk to him. Don't just let him ignore you.

That's what I meant by attitude. You're acting like a princess. It's okay, you can talk to him too.

[Asker]

I am talking to him too. I'm saying that he tends to talk to me, flirt and stuff, then the next day whenever I try talking to him again, he practically ignores me. It gets annoying after a while.

[HomoErectus]

this is called "i have a girlfriend"

[Asker]

He doesn't have a girlfriend though...

[HomoErectus]

(that's what you think.)

or maybe he's just into flirting and you are not the only one on his list.

[pavlove]

Short attention span

[Asker]

Ha, no, I know for a fact that's not it.