Should guys make comments about a girls weight?

Question

I am a bit overweight, but I am very sensitive about it. I have been suffering through eating disorders for a few years now. (Most people would never think that a fat person would have an eating disorder but it happens quite often) I don't know if my guy friends just don't realize that it hurts me or if they don't think I care when they make fat jokes but I do care and it really hurts. I don't think that guys should mention things like that not even jokingly because I know that they are joking but it still hurts that they are motivated to make fat jokes.

Do you agree or not, please explain either way.

nusoulmusic · Accepted Answer

I wrote other. I don't think a guy should in a joking-manner because that's just cruel. I think he should say something in a loving manner if he is CONCERNED. Gaining weight is sometimes just genetic. Not everyone is meant to be thin. However, if she is NOT PREGNANT, and gaining weight out of what seems to be no where, then there could be another issue. As her boyfriend/fiance/husband, a man should be supportive of his woman no matter what. Exercise and eat healthier with her. Like I stated before, it could be genetics and that cannot be changed. At least know that she is being healthy so you'll have her around longer. Anything else is cruel.

For you: I am not a psychologist, so I cannot tell you how to deal with your eating-disorder. But I bet if your guy was more supportive and loving about your condition, it probably wouldn't be too much of an issue. If you haven't said anything to him about it, start to. Anything that feels uncomfortable usually is not good for you.

And for all the women who voted 'A': Y'all are messed up. There is NEVER a reason to be cruel if it is unprovoked. You should all be ashamed of yourself, and I hope that you gain a good amount of weight so that you know how it feels to be made fun of because of it!

davyjones · Accepted Answer

eating disorders are very very serious right now. being overweight can be a problem but more so in the long term. get yourself as healthy as possible and know that in the long run that's the best policy. as for the guy, I get it. its annoying. sh*t like that can cut you up inside especially when you gotta listen to it cos its from a friend. what I'm thinking is be as healthy as possible, ie exercise and good food and know that who you are as a person is both beautiful today and also shapes the person you'll grow into. quality girls come in all shapes and sizes as do quality guys. the same is true of sex appeal. tv ain't real life. so be you. get councilling for the eating disorders as your health is paramount. and tell the dude, you noticed his d*** ain't quite as big as it should be. you like his jeans but the bulge ain't what it should be. but don't expect the world to shrink to compensate. and its ok to be a little d*** man, you'll still love him anyway. that should give him enough neurosis to keep him off your back till he's 50. poor bastard will be going round checking out other guys bulges! next time you see him you can give him a pinkie shake and everything.

XXXHCOfeverXXX · Accepted Answer

MANY situations to this:

-If the girl is skinny but insecure about her weight, make her feel better by saying uur not fat or ur perfect. If she says stuff like that a lot she likes either complements or being reassured which is a good thing not to get annoyed about because an annorexic girlfriend is just not good!

-Pleasantly plump- if you like a girk who is and she asks you about it say I love you the way you are or stop worrying about it. never ever ignore it and try to redirect the conversation

-Chubbier than most- Make a good impretion by eating healthy around her. she'll do the same and then maybe would loose a few pounds. if she asks you about it then again, say o stop worrying about it and she's perfect for you the way she is.DON't avoid it and don't offer your advise on how to loose weight

-Plain fat- usually girls that are fat know they are fat and sometimes accept it but others just stop eatring and that needs to be kept an eye on. She addresses you tell her something that would overshadow that minor detail being her weight. and don't forget to say I love you. Be a good impression and don't do anything I said earlier not to do.

evette · Accepted Answer

I agree and you should tell them that you know that they are joking but it hurts your feelings and you do not have to take it anymore.

I do not care how overweight you are you have to feel good about yourself. I have several friends who are overweight from 180 lbs to 400 lbs. And most of them have more confident about how they look than I do I weight 170 lbs. They dress real nice and look and smell good have their hair fixed real nice. People will make fun of you no matter how you look. When I was younger like teens years I was very thin no butt nothing only thing I had was these hug breast, I called them cosovamelons, When I stand up I would lean forward because of the breast. That really hurt my feelings too.

I do not mean to brag about myself I want you to feel good about yourself. If you want to loose weight talk to your doctor. I do not know you but I love you and you are my sister in the spirit I wish you well. Don't worry about those old friends I do not think they know how much they are hurting your feelings. Please tell them.

LOLO09 · Accepted Answer

DONT EVEN TRIP OFF WHA NOBODY ELSE SAYS LOVE URSELF FOR WHO You ARE NOT WHAT ANYBODY ELSE SAYS.MA PASTOR MADE A JOKE ONE DAY AND SAID "THIS WORLD WASNT MADE FOR JUS SKINNY PEOPLE. IF WE WERE ALL SKINNY I THINK THE WORLD OULD TILT".LOL I don't know IF THAT WAS FUNNY TO You BUT THATS HALARIOUS TO ME. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP LET THEM JOKE ABOUT WHATEVER THEY WANT TO BUT JUS KNOW DEEP DOWN INSIDE THEM WHERE NO ONE ELSE CAN SEE THEY HAVE A MORE SERIOUS PROBLEM THATS GOIN ON IN THEM N THATS KILLIN EM ETERNALLY SO THATS Y THEY R TAKING IT OUT ON U

Anonymous · Answer

If a guy doesn't know not to even make jokes about a girl's weight, he must be clueless. It is a very sensitive area to many girls and should never be approached.

I would just like to say one thing though regarding what you have written up there. Firstly, guys have this thing with trying to be funny at others' expense, and what they are saying 99.9% of the time is complete bullshit. yes coming truthfully from a guy who admits it. Also, the guys who don't realize not to "go there" with the weight thing will make stupid comments; although, they really seriously do not mean it. If a girl in actual fact is slightly overweight, which you claim to be, they wouldn't touch the subject unless they are mentally retarded. So really in conclusion what I'm trying to say is

1) The guys who do say this have no understanding of girls.

2) The guys who say this are saying it to be funny, but wouldn't have said it if they actually meant it. Therefore, if you are actually slightly overweight, they wouldn't comment / joke about it. So if they continue to do so, tell them you don't like them saying that, or simply just realize that it is all bs coming out anyway so you shouldnt worry.

JohnFranzen · Answer

In the past that extra few pounds was most likely a sign of wealth.

Eating disorders are serious issues, and it is my opinion that the physiological symptoms result from a mental issue. I am not saying you're crazy or even saying it is anybody's fault. When you do something long enough, the process becomes ingrained into your way of thinking.

It is going to take some time to figure it out. but I think that losing weight is something you need to consider. People have always been critical of what they haven't experiences personally or basically just anything that is different. If these jokes bother you, then it is your responsibility to understand why they bother you.

Even people with cancer get chemo. know what I mean? I'm not putting you down in anyway. I am saying that if you are happy with yourself, that is all you need. If you are feeling bad about your eating disorder, it is up to you to find the cause of the disorder and feel good about your social life again.

I used to make comments to my ex-girlfriend and let me tell you my approach to trying to motivate her did not work. If you are going to try to motivate someone you need to try to do it in the most concerned approach possible. If it doesn't work or the woman is offended, then there is nothing you can do. Only an individual can motivate themselves.

Anonymous · Answer

I struggle with an eating disorder and I am also overweight (God is playing a cruel joke on me haha). So I am very sensitive to weight comments. Guys should NOT make fat jokes. There is nothing funny about that. Next time one of your "friends" says something about your weight talk about his penis size or how much money he doesn't have, I bet he'll shut up then.

Another thing, making fat comments does not motivate fat people to lose weight. Half the people saying that dumb shit are the ones who like to pick at people and probably have never had a weight issue so what would they know? Fat people know they are fat. We are fat, not blind. So making cruel comments and hurting our self esteem is not going to make the weight problem go away, all it does is make you an asshole. I have actually stopped eating and had to go to the hospital because of somethings people said to me. I don't know if they realize how much it affects people or what but it's just wrong.

apelsinuke · Answer

I try to joke about myself, but hardly can joke about others being afraid to hurt their feelings, and I do not find abusive humour that funny. You should talk to your friends about this, telling them it's not a big deal what they do but it offends and hurts you, because you are so sensitive, and you'd rather them stopped acting like this at least around you.

I also have a bit of an eating problem, but in different direction - whenever I'm stressed, I can't eat. It's because I had a bit of an anorexia problem back in school, and now I can't stop losing weight even I am eating ok, but always stressed and sick to my stomach :(

So you should try to explain your friends, that you care about fat jokes, and they hopefully will stop that.

Newport100 · Answer

I picked "other" because the only time you EVER mention to a woman about her wieght is when she lost wieght and you can tell her she is looking good.

Personally I lean slightly towards really liking plump, chubby, round and curvy women but that's just me. I really like them.

regular-guy · Answer

I think people often say things thinking that their comments (joking indirect or direct criticism) will have some kind of effect on the behavior of the person. People usually don't say anything if they don't think what they have to say will make any difference. People who say things about another's weight to that person are thinking their criticism will somehow make you behave differently.

I think addressing weight, as with any potential criticism, should be handled with a high degree of tact and a contemplated awareness of the intention of your comment and the probable result of your comment.

John-Bee · Answer

I agree with you 100% I tell a lot of jokes, poke fun at people as well as myself. It is never ok to joke about such a sensitive issue. You may laugh on the outside but it still hurts on the inside. You are aware of the fact that you have a disorder & I hope that you are getting help with your issues. What if you had a friend that was a recovering alcoholic? Would you offer him/her a drink. NO it's not funny.

cassandra22 · Answer

I think your male friends don't realise how fat jokes upset you, how do you react ? do you laugh and pretend not to care or do you show that the comments hurt ? your friends might be unaware of how sensitive you are with your weight and maybe next time they tell a fat joke you could point out what it's like to be overweight and how hurtful their comments are to you.

Unfortunately overweight people are considered to be 2nd class citizens and will always be there to be made fun of but not by the people you call friends as you need support and understanding.Good luck in sorting out your problem.

Reeses-pieces777 · Answer

I think as long as it's constructive. people should NOT makefun of other people for being overweight or anorexic, because those are medical conditions. obviously if they feel that they are too overweight, it would be helpful to comment in a polite and considerate way.

EnglishGentleman · Answer

NEVER EVER should I guy do this! If a guy does this its opening up a can of worms exposing his mean and ugly side. plain and simply if I guy says this never ever even be friends with him. he is truly a bad person.

Akikosmile · Answer

There's no reason to sugarcoat the fact that someone is obese, It's a national disgrace and while I wouldn't tell jokes about it, I wouldn't hesitate to comment on it. Sorry if it hurts someone's feelings, but their health will be hurt worse if they don't do something.

ANd let's face it, most guys aren't going to be interested and there's no reason to sugarcoat THAT either. The quicker she faces up to that fact the quicker she'll DO something about it!

993099142 · Answer

I think it's okey for a guy to call a girl fat if he wants to help her lose the weight. Obesity is a serious health condition and if they are concerned about you, they wouldn't pretend taht you slender and physically fit when you are not. PEople who do that are liars and worthless as friends. You want someone who will tell you the truth, regardless of whether or not you want to hear it.

BSmall · Answer

Making jokes about the most confident girls weight would trigger insecurity, but a girls weight (in my  opinion) is just somthing you don't joke around about.

Eminem · Answer

i agree one should not be so mean. must know what to say and what not, or it would be really hurtful to others.

tayylorralexiss9 · Answer

i agree, my friends call me fatty all the time and it really hurts. I think you should tell them to stop and tell them that it really bothers you. if they don't then there not your true friends. your friends should love and accept you for who you are.

Simple-Simonette · Answer

How horrible.  I think you should rethink the title of "friends" when describing someone who would overlook your feelings to make a joke.

Tatiahna · Answer

If you ask them their opinion then they should tell you the truth but if not no. And don't your guy friends respect you? I know if one of my guy friends ever said anything like that my best friend (also a guy) would shut them up.

beachtexasgirl89 · Answer

I think they can do it only if it is CLEARLY a joke, and by that I mean, if the girl is like 110 pounds and the guy calls her fat as a joke, and she's not offended, then it's OK.  But if she is anything other than TEENY, he shouldn't say anything.

k7993 · Answer

yah I mean if some one is not fat you its ok unless they have selfastine problems an if some ones on the fat side you shouldn't mess with them about it  cause they might already have selfesteim issues

TheoryOfAvarice · Answer

I agree. Weight is such a sensitive area. . . it's best just left alone. Even if it's clearly a joke. . it still hurts, I've seen it happen.

higurb · Answer

I'll say whatever I want to about a girl. I've earned that right. Girls tell me how ugly I am all the time.

Anonymous · Answer

i voted other as in if the grl has an eating dissorder the guy is concerned with he should say something to her.

guy777 · Answer

i agree with you

Should guys make comments about a girls weight?

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