Guys, trying to get out of the friendzone. Any advice?

[Anonymous]

I've been close friends with a girl for about 2-3 years, now. We started off seeing each other in-person, but with her moving and the pandemic happening our communication has been limited to exclusively online - social media, texts, phone calls, video chat. We have plans to see each other in-person again in a few years' time when we both finish school. This is a great position I'm in since I have time to work on myself physically to make myself more attractive for when we meet in-person again. There's only so much I can do with photos as of now.

She's said multiple times that I'm one of the few friends she has that's good-looking. She's called me attractive and cute multiple times. And, most recently I've been slightly flirting and being more direct with her. Only one attempt has left her genuinely flustered while the others have been responded with just "playful flirting." I've been making myself less and less available for texts and calls lately as to not be seen as a "dependent" for when she's bored and wants to text, or wanting to rant and dump everything onto that one "guy friend."

What more can I be doing to get out of the friendzone? And what things can I respond with in regard to my absense? I want to say something that'll make her see me in a mysterious way, to where she can't help but be interested in me and have me on her mind a lot.

[Anonymous]

Are you actually in the friend-zone? That’s just another word for a guy who was rejected, where the girl said “let’s just be friends”. If that hasn’t happened you don’t even know whether you’re in the friend zone or not. You don’t know until you shoot your shot.

All of this second guessing and planning is a waste if time really. Not being available, trying to come up with something to make you seem “mysterious”, that’s just cringe. You don’t need to do any of that.

What will attract her is just you being you and doing things with your life. The only reason that you should be unavailable is because you should be busy doing something cool.

This all sounds dorky though because I mean, in a couple of years? You think she’s still gonna be around by then? Still single? In all likelihood she won’t be. I’d say try to make something happen sooner before another guy beats you to it.

[RobT312]

Tough to get out of the friends zone if it’s long distance and she moved and you were only friends before she moved.

you could go visit her to see if there’s still a spark in person.
otherwise I’d start dating someone that you can have a real relationship with in person... you may just find the woman of your dreams, or at least appear more desirable to your long distance friend

[Anonymous]

I don't think you can. The only thing you can do is free yourself from the friend zone by walking away. If it hurts too much to be near someone you'll never have, then the only thing you can do is walk away and save your sanity.