Why are many big guys shy and timid?

Question

I don't understand it.

They're like.. so burly, buff and just big in a good way, not overweight, usually tall or just wide in a good way lol Hard to describe but I hope you guys know what I mean.

These guys often happen to be one so shy and timid and you'd think it'd be the opposite.

For example.

A friend of mine has a quite handsome contruction worker friend who couldn't even talk to me and had to get his friend to tell me he thinks I have beautiful hair and then he just got so bashful it was so cute lol

Or this Monday we went for lunch (me, my boss, his associate and his colleague) and I work with the colleague over phone. He's like 190cm, over 100kg (mostly muscle) and he couldn't even look at me, and barely spoke even though I tried to be nice and everything.

Before the haters start, no I ain't ugly. Other guys at the tables were looking at me a little too much. :D

Just wondering whether this is a common thing?

Mantinziza · Accepted Answer

bein a larger guy myself, its the rejection part. I've only ever been with 1 person in my life, thats a completely different story. however on your topic, for me at least when you know your covers been blown, it tends to make you do mental backflips. you dont know how the others gonna react, are they gonna get pissed, call you names, potentially think your a creep, talk smack to the community about how your approach was antisocial. so many things run through my head at once, its hard to try to focus and not have a panic attack.

But it is nice knowing the other is gonna reciprocate, however in my line of experience thats only happened once. so when your failure rate is damn near 99% it tends to make ya think, and second guess your choice of words or whether to even approach in the first place.

Telekinetic-Potato · Accepted Answer

There's so many reasons.

Parents shamed kid for being fat, didn't know how to help/motivate him.

Kid was told all the time that he is an asshole because people felt thereatened by their large size so they over compensate to be more approachable.

Low self esteem from being fat

Being fat can make you a social outcast at a young age, you never learned crucial social skills by the age of 4 and now don't know how to interact properly with others. The best option is to stay quiet in these people's minds but doing this too much will only make the problem worse.

There's a bunch of others that are similar to these.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Accepted Answer

Being the bigger in size standing at 160 cm and 50 kg, I can tell it’s really hard to approach people without scaring them, so I try to be less intimidating.

Just messing with my new blue color :P

My boyfriend is a big guy, well much bigger than me 187 cm and 85 KG, and he is not shy, even though he always says he is.

shaysh87 · Accepted Answer

The guys who are shy and timid don’t tend to be the most attractive guys. Shy and timid usually means lack of self confidence. If you go to a very handsome guy , he will have much more confidence to talk to you.

NamerOfStars · Answer

More than you'd think. Being big means being intimidating- often completely regardless of ANYTHING else. I've had grown women who saw me coming turn and RUN away, in two separate cases *leaving their small children behind*. Children who invariably love me, because they're smart enough to not be afraid.

But being able to rely on size to intimidate people means avoiding a lot of unpleasant (or potentially unpleasant) confrontations, and it's not hard to see how that can build into avoiding the trickier things altogether. Then, when you get into a situation where you NEED to do it, it's a lot harder, because you lack practice.

Phoenix-gb · Answer

Just because you're big, doesn't mean you haven't been rejected by those you were interested in. Also doesn't mean they weren't larger as kids (not in your good way) and picked on as a result. That does a number on your self esteem that follows you through into later life.

LaNc3L0TT · Answer

I'm 185 and about 110-115 kg, been working out for quite time, my nature was always calmed and peaceful but later on when I start to "grow" I had to take more peaceful and calmful approach since I'm bigger/larger than 90% of other dudes. Reason for this approach is that most of people could/are "read/reading" me wrong by my looks/appearance, which is normal unfortunately but later when they get to know me it's different story. (luckily for me :D)

Pohjolan · Answer

For big strong guys there is a dichotomy between being intimidating or timid and it varies from person to person.
One time a gal just ran away from me when she spotted me and only as the looked back in terror did she realise that I was just standing there dumbfounded with a coffee mug in my hand.
She did continue walking as nothing had happened after that. Dunno what she thought I was holding.

MrCommodore · Answer

I'm one of those big guys, I'm probably more quiet and respectful than shy/timid. Like I'm confident in everyday life, just not flirty or smooth talking with girls.

England4eva · Answer

Cause In their eyes they are just regular.. it’s only for everyone else looking up at them that they are giants

zagor · Answer

Being shy isn't related to physical size. In fact a large guy is less likely to become assertive because people are less likely to try to push him around when young. Some short guys become assertive as a defense mechanism.

genericname85 · Answer

they're not "timit". they're "meek". because they don't need to be aggressive or threattening since they are so tall which makes people never challenge them.

dustybiker · Answer

Maybe they learn to try and be less intimidating, or are that way naturally.

dolemite89 · Answer

maybe he does think ur cute but he just doesn’t want to lose his job by acting inappropriate 🤷‍♂️

BarryLiverstone · Answer

One thing in the back of our heads is coming off as intimidating based on the size difference.

scott04sa22 · Answer

I’m a big guy and I can be shy but after while my shyness is gone!

DaddyDiablo · Answer

What big guys are you around the ones I e met n see fucking aye their confidence is through the roof

Shy_Steve · Answer

A lot of us Guy's are Shy and Timid it's not just Big Guys.

Iron_Man · Answer

I don’t know it really comes down to each individual

whereismyjohnny · Answer

I don't know but I find it cute. 🥺

RandomGuy1030 · Answer

It's low self esteem. He might be big but he's also a mere construction worker.

Anonymous · Answer

They might be insecure. Some of them are not aware but the sexist society they have lived in expects a lot from them and that must be stressing too.

JesseJayNeak · Answer

Having a big size doesn’t necessarily mean having a big personality

UniquelyBasic · Answer

I dont have that problem

Why are many big guys shy and timid?

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