I like this girl (Coworker) I want to get to know her and eventually ask her out but I'm too socially awkward-shy, I just need to know what I can do?

[Anonymous]

I want to approach her and talk to her and make conversation so I can get to know her better and eventually ask her out but I'm just too socially awkward-shy to even do it. We haven't talked to each other at all so other than us working at the same job we are complete strangers to each other. We both work at the same grocery store but In different departments (I work in the front end where the baggers and cashiers are and she works at the Starbucks that's located inside the same store). I just need help on what a guy in my position can honestly do? And what would you all do if you was placed in my position?

[Punkbuster107]

The more general advice, is that if you find yourself being shy and awkward talking to someone, muster all your energy into focusing on the other person, rather than your own internal thoughts. Just listen and pay attention to them very closely, and you will naturally think less about your own awkwardness, and you’ll have a good reason to think less about your own awkwardness because you have done a good job of listening to them. (Stole this idea from a Jordan Peterson lecture today, tbh I have no idea if it works.)




For specifics on approaching this girl, the truth is, you’re going to have to break the ice eventually or else decide never to break the ice and let it go. Don’t worry about waiting for the perfect moment. Go into it being honest with yourself that there is a good chance this is one of the many crushes you’ll have in your lifetime that goes nowhere, but that’s okay, and it’s still worth talking to her. Maybe she already had a boyfriend, maybe you aren’t her type, or maybe circumstances just aren’t aligned for anything to be possible between you two, etc., but as guys it is our responsibility to approach girls we like and get shut down by them until we find one that doesn’t shut us down. As long as you’re respectful and kind in how you approach her, I don’t see you ending off any worse than you started by trying to talk to her.


You can either just walk up to her and introduce yourself, or you can try and do something goofy like ask her “Hey, so… how would you go about introducing yourself to someone you technically already work with and see all the time?- Asking for a friend…”


Whatever you do, make sure it feels natural for you though. That’s about all I’ve got. Good luck! Have fun getting turned down by girls until the time you don’t!

[slatyb]

"Eventually?" There's no "eventually" in dating. Can't you just say "Hi , how's it going?"

[Asker]

I honestly can't no matter how much I want to even when I have the opportunity to i'm just too socially awkward-shy I've been this way for as long as I can remember and it's been nothing but a curse in my mind