How to Flirt and Spot Flirtation?

[Anonymous]

I’m 26(m), single and have had very few relationships. One thing I’ve never understood is flirting, but recently a friend from years past told me that she had fallen for me and I never knew! Apparently I never realized she was flirting with me and just thought she was nice and acted like that around everybody. What’s worse is that she says I flirted with her! To that I said, “I’m sorry, what? I can guarantee I wasn’t because 6 years later I still don’t know how to flirt!”

Now that’s all good and fine and it seems like it was all for the better anyway. But o still don’t know how to flirt and I’ve come to understand recently that I’ve actually just been entirely oblivious to people who were interested on a number of occasions.

So can someone help me out? What are some things people do to flirt with someone they like? What are some nonsexual things I could do to flirt? Any feedback would be appreciated. Guys, help a bro out? Girls, have pity on this apparently really dense dude?

[Guy13]

Stop the pussy footing around. Small talk, memorized couple jokes, and ask them out with gentle and confident energy 2nd/3rd interaction. Don’t expend ALL your Assets as you will need a joke during the inevitable “Silence Time” during date.
—You’re pitching a Sale so you will need a Plan (2). Her are the Plans (this is what we will be doing) what Time does your schedule allow?

[Asker]

Yeah, I don’t do any “pussy footing”. Still, the rest of this is gold. Thanks bro!

[Guy13]

Sure. Especially in the dance clubs I like corny and not perv which can get you a second hearing. I twist it up given her particularities.. like Big Animal, Green/Environment, Stupid People jokes etc. This one has never failed me... The guts of it, in case explanation is needed, is what did the caged bird say to the cat (parakeet voice) ? Pardon me if I litter (Birds crap outside cage/cat litter box)... I'm on a date with a super hot and bright junior animal owner type probably looking a vet schools at a University where one of the top 5 vet schools internationally resides... I assumed she was thinking Grad school but didn't know then etc
"I love my dog and it loves to herd and a tennis ball.. but scratches his hair and heat rashes, I THINK (looked at her..."expert") and finally I just got fed up and went down to the Vet campus (he will be a good Daddy) for fix... And there was a cage bird and cat perched below.. pretty interesting from the window and when I stepped in they were talking... AND the bird (bird voice) blurted out, "Pardon me if I litter"... and the cat moved and started to rub against my legs... my Sheltie is going to go bat shit crazy now... dog is a little possessive, you know...
I spent 15 minutes getting evaluated, critiqued, and designing a Plan... that's what women do. Needless to say "facetime/with dog" check-in were welcomed. Would not let her meet the dog in person (power move)...
--Use it in your way...

Of a course a pheromone/contact kiss BUT driving home with a he's corny but sweet.. and makes me laugh... he loves animals... it's so hard to find someone that makes me laugh... and he's cute. If she gets a twinge between two thighs driving home then it's just don't fwck it up... and consistent joke so she can rely on you in front of the other cackling Hens.