Girl looks at me, I look at her, what can I do?

[Daredevil9231]

Once in class, this girl TURNED HER HEAD BACK and looked at me for 40 seconds straight. I rule out the possibility that I was simply in her line of vision because she turned her head back deliberately. Thing is there was no smile involved which confuses me. She knew me and I knew her but we never talked.

few weeks later, she approached me first and said hi and asked to work on a Math Problem. I, being an idiot, work alone and told her to just send her answers and I'll verify it (rookie mistake?) She was dating sbelse that time. After the finals, she asked me how are you but I just said fine and didn't ask her back (i'm a little shy) to which I feel a little guilty.

Out of nowhere she comes to where I was standing, puts her hand in my waist, pulls me back gently to make space and moves toward the refrigerator. I was totally turned on. This was the point I realized she may actually like me because there was PLENTY OF SPACE right next and there was no need to make space like that.

Another semester and I have not talked to her once but she looks at me straight on the eye and doesn't look away and this time I didn't look away either. Happened 3-4 times. The guy she was with is gone and she is single and I need to escalate things. Firstly, I want to ask if these are solid indications of interest or not.

If yes, I want to proceed doing this and I need your thoughts: When she'll look at me, I'll look back and say nothing. After some time, I approach her and say Hello X, how are you? she probably will say fine and ask how I am Me: I don't know, you tell me. (1 s pause) how am I supposed to be? (2 s pause while looking in her eye) Then I say this, i present you with 2 options option1: don't stare at me for too long and neither will I option2: go out for a coffee with me some time (in a low voice). Now choose! And I let her choose. Do you think this is a good way of expressing my interest and escalating things? I really want to know if this is rude or not haha.

[SteveSmith1985]

Well, first of all, she is definitely interested in you. That's really quite clear. Don't question that part.

Your plan, however...(in my opinion) is awful. Like it's just terrible. That is NOT how you should go about expressing interest. Unless you're somewhere in the world where things are done very differently. Then... you need to completely rethink your plan.

You say you're a shy guy; and that you've never spoken to this girl before. Not even once. Now... you're trying to go from zero... to over-the-top, cartoonish aggressive in showing your interest. Like you're trying to imitate some character from a trashy romance novel or something.

Honestly, the approach you suggested makes you sound like a total douchbag (again, unless you're in Pakistan or something, with very different social norms).

Why not take things slower. You need to find the middle-ground between being too shy to talk to her at all, and the over-the-top ridiculous approach you suggested here. Just have a regular-ass conversation with her.

You don't need to ask her out the first time you speak to her. In fact, it's definitely better if you DON'T ask her out as the very first thing out-of-your-mouth. Coffee is great and all... but since you're in school you will see her anyway. You don't need a date to do the preliminary "getting to know someone."

All you need to do is to start TALKING TO HER. Just regular conversations about anything. Little things happening around you, mundane shit like the weather. Whatever you want to talk about. The subject isn't so important. You can still get a sense of a person when you're making small talk.

Basically you're missing a few steps here. You should just talk to her.

Or, if you do want to just ask her out right away (which you CAN do, since she does like you); then PLEASE do it in a different way. The "two choices" thing... dude... that's... really bad. It doesn't make you look the way you think it makes you look. I strongly urge you to reconsider your approach.

Just... be normal. Don't try and be smooth and cleaver and shit. Just be normal. Talk to her like she's a regular normal person. Don't try to change things to impress her. She's already impressed. Also, she will be excited enough that she's being asked-out, that she doesn't give a fuck about you being smooth or having "a good delivery." Just ask her in words, in a regular way.

Don't try and pretend to be someone you're not. That's not what she wants. She wants you... and all you awkward-shy-ass-glory. That's who she's attracted to. Trying to pretend that you're anything other than how you are, is a mistake. You already got her interest.

The approach you're suggesting is not the approach of a shy guy. It is exactly the opposite. The only guys who would ever talk to women like that, are the ones who are repulsively cocky and over-confident. The kind of guy that is a turn-off to all but a tiny fraction of girls. The kind of guy that's loudly announcing "hey, I'm an asshole; And I don't give a fuck if anyone thinks so!"

I help girls out ALL the time with stuff having to do with dating and men. I can tell you, for sure, you need to re-think your approach. Completely. Throw the whole thing out, and start new. 🙂

[Daredevil9231]

hey thanks for your reply. it makes sense. but I just wanted to note that I'm shy when pursuing romance. In all other aspects, I am bold and confident. Unfortunately, I am a little cocky too lol so not sure which part of me she likes; In classes and stuff, not a part of me would reveal I'm a shy dude but in the few interactions I've had with her, I was a little shy. But in any case, I'm assuming just talking like a normal dude is the best approach here?

[SteveSmith1985]

Yea, if you're a cocky dude in general, then there isn't nearly as much of an "act" involved in how you were planning to approach her.

So at the end of the day, the answer is exactly what you said: "Just talking like a normal dude is the best approach."

That is exactly what I was getting at. But talking "normally" is going to vary depending on someone's personality. So it's totally fine to throw in whatever your own personal style happens to be (like you'd do when talking to anybody). But, it's exactly as you said. Just "be normal; be yourself; talk however you normally would."

The other thing to keep in mind is that you don't have to ask her out immediately. You can just start talking to her when you see her (since you do see her often). You can "get to know each other" a bit before that first date. That's not necessary. It's a matter of preference. But... if it was someone I had never talked to... personally I'd find it much easier to say "hi" than to ask her out right away... if I had the option. But either way is fine.

[RoastedToast]

Remain perfectly still, their vision is based on movement...

[TacosRAwesome]

Smile and wave and give her the call me sign

[In_Trance]

Ridiculous

[Guy13]

Ask her out on date.

[Akam93]

@Guy13 good morning. :)

[Iron_Man]

Date her talk to her

[peedy]

Wink at her or a smile or raise an eye brow

[Führerusa]

Boy, I think you're gay