Girls, Why do women use flirty body language if they have already decided a guy is just a friend?

[UmbrusNightshade]

So... I've known about body language and signs of attraction for a while now. As a man, I've been working on making my own body language signal attraction and confidence when flirting. Admittedly, when I was younger I was overly shy and nervous and it came through in my body language. Now, however I've become a lot more confident and I'm able to use open and positive body language as well as male attraction signals (that slightly longer eye contact, feet pointing towards her, leaning in, getting close to her, smiling, even the inverted triangle trick). I have also made it a conscience effort to be attentive to the body language women I'm interacting with are giving off.

Several times I've been met with lots of supposed feminine attraction body language and flirtatious signals, to only be friend-zoned (or outright rejected). It's confusing and a little disheartening. I don't claim to be a genius but I'm not stupid. Why would women actively flirt if they know you are attracted to them (which typically women pick up on attraction a lot faster than men do) only to friend-zone you when you make a confident first move? What am I doing wrong?

[SueShe]

From your descriptive, I deduct that your aim in life is basically only to attempt to attract women for the sole purpose to get into their pants. Why would you otherwise use so many flirting tricks?

You have invested considerable time and energy to study those tricks. It is not to get a steady, long term relation but only to try to pick those women up.

Now, it is payback time. Those women do realize that you are trying to pick them up for the one single reason and they are playing your game. It is a way to tell you to stop this cat and mouse game because obviously, it does not work as you are way too obvious with your intentions.

[UmbrusNightshade]

Yeah … you have it entirely wrong. I have zero experience with anything physical and want to wait until, at the very least we have a strong emotional connection before even going there. I’d prefer to wait until marriage.

This post is about how multiple times a woman seems to show signs of interest back when I show signs of interest and yet once an attempt to establish at least the initial “get-to-know” phase that steps outside of friendship, the brakes are halted. It’s confusing as hell for someone who is genuinely interested in a woman and wants to get to know her and the signals she sends says Yes.

And it’s not misreading things unless every single person ever who writes about dating, attraction or related topics is a straight up liar.

What’s the use of all that kind of stuff if not a single thing they say is true. And I’m talking even stuff that psychologists are spewing.

[KathrynTaylor]

A lot of non Autistic people enjoy flirting and don’t realise they’re leading you on or they’re doing it as an ego boost.

[Anonymous]

Most don't. It is just that usually men see things that are not even there.

[UmbrusNightshade]

Not my experience. Personally and watching female friends when we’re out, it seems the rule not the exception.