Do you act nicer or more abrupt and indifferent towards a colleague who has a crush on you?

[Bethany22]

Say that you can tell that someone at work has a crush on you. Do you act nicer and gentler towards them, or do you try to help them stop liking you by acting indifferent, distant, and abrupt? This is assuming you don't like them back. Is it awkward knowing they have a crush on you?

[oxoxo-lover]

I was going to ask a question along the same lines as this one. I was in this situation not too long ago and I don't know if I reacted properly. As you said, I noticed one of the managers in my store acted a certain way toward me when I started working there. I thought I was imagining things but I could sense him nervous and other times trying to impress me. I acted indifferent and distanced myself as much as I could. I was scared of giving the wrong impression. He even laughed with me once. I stopped because I didn't want him to think something else. Yes, it was so awkward. But I also feel like he got mad or it did affect my work relationship with him because he felt like I would ignore him.

[Anonymous]

i'm a bit nicer usually (even if i have no plans to like them back) unless i dont like them or i really dont find them attractive at all. if it's the second case i'm not mean or anything but i'll try to see them less and try to not interract as much as i can

[Guy13]

No matter his/her personal intent, we are employed to produce quality Work.

If he or she is in a position of power and I see advancement through that individual then I ingratiate myself to him/her. The easiest way to do this is to serve the individual in a mutually beneficial Work capacity. In essence, to make that person look and feel good professionally and personally.

At the end of the day, I go out the door at the other end of the plant and walk past security on the way out. There is no parking lot walk-in mornings or walk to car after work evenings. Outside of work communications are to be strictly avoided.

[Cassie88]

Ah, lighten up!

[Genie23]

I act distant because yes, that makes things a little awkward for me and also if I act nicer, he'd like me even more and I wouldn't want to lead someone in or hurt him.

[Genie23]

Lead someone on or hurt them*

[Summeroflove]

If I like someone and I want to show interest. Showing interest is the best way to do it.


Though some situations could be awkward which is why people don’t act on it.

[NathanDavis]

if I find out that someone has a crush on me, everywhere and anywhere... I only make sure that I do not lead them on when I do not feel the same way about them, everything else I remain to be my true self, just like I've always been

it also depends on how I find out, way more often than not.. they are the ones to tell me about it and once they do, I clarify things right away... sorry, I do not feel the same... or HELL YEAH, know we are thing... lol

but if I realize about it, that they have a crush on me and I am at least 90% sure... I just won't lead them on if I do not feel the same, and I do... then it is game, I'll do everything I can so we become a thing... lol

[Anonymous]

If i dont like them back, i will feel nervous and a bit bad for them. Nervous because i feel just like that around girls. A buy hard to talk to them.

if i like them back, i will be super duper nervous. To the point where i will freeze up and get quiet and stiff, or if she walks from the other side of the hall and looks at me when walking past, i won't have the guts to look at her or straight ahead, i will look down.

Case 2 has happened to me but the girl was confident enough to make the first step. Too bad she left.

[nitsuj86]

I treat them like any other coworker. They like me... ok.

If I am overly nice, she will think she has a chance. If I cut her off, and be rude, I come off as an asshole which isn't necessary. Just think of the coworker that you don't want to fuck, and doesn't want to fuck you. Treat them like that, just a normal human being.

If they ask you out, just say you are busy or dating someone at the moment, etc... Just avoid hanging out with them outside of work.

[Chazmatazz269]

I play no favorites. I pride myself on being a professional. You won’t know if i like you or dislike you. Also, workplace crushes aren’t a likelihood in my line of work. Very few women choose to work in construction. Fewer still who would be my type, and almost none for whom i would be their type. Ell oh ell!

[mobiusforniner]

Im nice but i reject offers to do things together. I've had a few female coworkers ask me to coffee and lunch or bring me breakfast. On rare occasions I've reported their behaviors to management because they won't stop.

And then I learned the double standard. Nobody cares if a man is uncomfortable being approached at work. I was told im a "stud".

I had to confront the women myself, which, ironically, got me reported to management...

[DizzyDesii]

If i like them in return, i’m nice, giddy and finding any excuse to chat. If im not into them, i’m distant or trying to hook them up with someone else i know

[SnowedIn]

I very deliberately act the same toward them as I do towards others and put a huge amount of effort into ensuring it's the same. It's awkward inside, but that's the right way to do it.

[cth96190]

Neither. I pretend that I am not aware of anything.
The man-hating sisterhood has made it too dangerous for a man to respond.
There was a case when a young man was Title IXed and thrown off campus after a member of the pink-haired sisterhood saw him hugging his girlfriend.

[Kaneki05]

Indeed I become indifferent to them if I want to show I don't like them that way. If I liked them I would be trying to get closer to them.

[Justin1019]

I typically gave up on women because most women go for bad boys when bad boys are near. I am a nice guy and not a bad boy.

Anyways, if a female colleague has a crush on me, I typically just politely decline her. I do not reciprocate.

[Datboi65]

I act the same way. If I'm at work, I want to be professional. I would generally advise all to avoid dating colleagues because it usually turns messy.

[Cassie88]

I'd be extra, extra nice. The trick I suppose would be determining if the person in question really did have a crush on me. I've gotten it wrong a few times :D

[lightbulb27]

depends on my maturity level. when not mature, I back away and avoid. when mature, I handle it directly and honestly and business like.

[Pyrofox]

I'm so dense you'd have to do a proper confession. I'd probably just take it as your being friendly otherwise.

[FreyaRed]

Indifferent. Most men can't stop anyway with their bullshit.

[kellytheman]

If like them also I will be nicer and more helpful maybe even flirting with them but if don't like them as much they like mei act normal and still be nice but no flirting.

[Tonyblony5150]

Nope I act nicer gentler, there will be frequent lunch dates, dinner and so on

[AimeeKyle]

I would be nicer. I wouldn’t want to hurt their feelings / hopefully prevent any weirdness

[Ryfyle]

Remember when people went to work just for the paycheck? Do you even work a real job?

[Caramelpie]

I treat them the same and with all respect but I might be a bit extra professional with them.

[Anonymous]

I act nice towards pretty women and avoid ugly women

[Anonymous]

Nicer, if I find them attractive. Don't know how I would react if I wasn't; or now that I am taken.

[dustybiker]

I would act professional.

[Andres77]

Gentle, respectful, and keep my distance.

[Mansearching]

Indifferent and awkward

[LemiaOfThunder]

Never had it happen to me

[CubaPirate]

Probably nicer

[Guardian45]

Usually nicer