If a guy you're dating asks you to split the bill..is this a deal breaker?

[Anonymous]

Let's say you have been dating a guy for a while and both of you really like each other and he ALWAYS treats you and pays for you, but one day when he asks you to split the bill on one date. would you consider it a deal breaker and never date him again?

Also for guys...if you have been dating a girl for a while and you have been paying for everything so far..would you still ask her to split the bill once in a while even if you really like her?

I asked my girlfriends about it and they said they wouldn't date him and think the guy is cheap and stingy, but I asked guys about it and they said that even when they like a girl a lot...they would feel more appreciated if the girl pays once in a while and that they can't stand it if they have to pay for everything o_O. I just want to see both sides of the opinion.

[Anonymous]

it would definitely make me feel unloved and almost uncomfortable and embarassed, kind of an awkward position to be in becuase id feel guilty for not paying previous times and would beat myself up over it...id also see the guy as mean and I dunno...its just a horrible situation to be in and the best thing to do is prevent it when you first start dating you should offer to pay half yourself or take turns one date you pay another date he pays etc or make up for it buy buying him gifts and treating him to a movie I think it should be equal not just in dating but friendship too me and my gals we always take turns and pay for each other once in a while its part of the sisterhood

as a guy if I were in his shoes I wouldn't put the girl on the spot and be like yo pay half, id just pay this one last time and then talk about it with the girl via conversation another time like lightly bring it up saying so when are you gonna buy me a drink somtime playfully lol

i definitely think there are better ways of handling the situation then just putting the girl on the spot and rudely asking her to pay half, its all about attitude and being a gentleman and she should also take it into consideration to do thigns for him too to return the favor

for me depending on how much I like him, if I like him a lot id let it go and forget about it, if we jsut started dating and he did that though then yea it'd be a deal breaker because id be so embarassed to face him again and just shaky being around him I wouldn't know if I was doing something wrong again and would be trying to hard to please him and insecure.

[goflipaburger]

I always offer to pay my half. More often then not, the guy would feel somewhat offended if I always insisted on it because they feel it's their responsibility. But I disagree, I don't need you to pay for my dinner to feel loved. I appreciate it, but it's OUR responsibility.

Sometimes when my current boyfriend insists, I'll let him pay for it; but then I'd guilt trip him into letting me pay for the next date :) hehehe. Just recently we've established that we're always going to split the bill, but he still fights me on it every so often lol.

It's just not a big deal for me. Him not paying wouldn't ever be a deal breaker.

[CarrieDawn]

As long as it's not the first date, I don't mind at all.(:

However, I think if you don't have enough money, go on a cheap date or a free one, like just watching movies at your own house or going on a picnic. That's fine with me!

But I totally understand the money issue...in our school we have a Belle Dance (Which is like the Sadie Hawkins or "Morp" dance) in which everything is opposite; girls ask the guys, and girls pay.

I unded up spending almost $200 for dinner, tickets to the dance, and my share of renting the limo. :o

I couldn't imagine spending that much on someone all the time...

[andbeck]

We're not made of money. We can't just be expected to pay for everything. Now, if it was his idea to go to this place where he asked to split the bill, then just go with it but make sure he knows that you are not happy with the fact that he couldn't pay for what he decided to do. Just talk to him and let him know what you think about it.

If he can't pay for what he wanted to do once, fine, let him know what you think. Twice, you may have a problem. Three times and it's over.

But, if it was your idea to do that, or it was a mutual decision, then you should have no problem with splitting the bill or even taking the whole thing.

To reiterate what I said before: Guys are not made of money, we run out. Our wallets aren't just stuffed with wads of cash. We can't pay for everything.

[MrChadeo920]

I might be a little late to this but, when in dating has it ever been a mutual decision to go some where? We as guys always have to have a plan, make reservations, pick her up, tell her she beautiful. And all that shi*!
Anyway women have never come up with ideas or anything that would make them want to treat a guy to dinner or something. I don't know man, but I'm sure you know that, that would never happen.

[Icechip]

Depending on how well he is doing he should try to pay for everything but I get so broke taking my girlfriend out all the time. If we go out in a group then I don't have to pay for her but most of the time I end of doing anyways, but if its a date just us 2 then I'll pay for her though she has paid once but I didn't think she minded at all. I doubt you will but if you break up over her wanting to split it one time that's kinda a jerk move don't listen to your girlfriends about it he seems to be trying his best and trying to take care of you.

[Anonymous]

If a guy never pays the whole bill, I can see why he'd be considered cheap. If a guy doesn't pay one time, then I would definitely not say that it makes him cheap. If a girl didn't like that, then yes, she's extremely materialistic, and that would be a deal breaker for me.

If it contributes to us doing something enjoyable together, then I have no problem paying for things. If it feels like I'm just buying her stuff so she'll stay around, then I'm not going to bother taking her out in the first place. If I'm going to be paying for us, though, then it's going to work around what I can afford.

[Smilie-xo]

I wouldn't let him ALWAYS treat me. I think that I would end up feeling really guilty if he felt like he had to pay every time, even though some guys apparently like to. I like it when my boyfriend pays for stuff occasionally because it makes me feel appreciated. But I like to pay just as often as he does.

So anyways I would absolutely split the bill with the guy and I wouldn't even think about it, that's just the way that relationships should be - give and take.

[Anomoly10]

I agree that this is a deal-breaker on the first date. I believe in courtship. Once in a relationship,

I think it's fair for the woman to pick up the tab sometimes. I don't believe the guy always has to pay. I believe in give and take in relationships

[udolipixie]

Depends on who asked who/who arranged the date.

If it was him then deal breaker he should pay 100%

If it was me then I'd decline his offer for him to pay 50% and pay 100%

If it was both of us then I'd stop being some crybaby cow.

To me it's only in a relationship where who asked you doesn't apply and we both 50/50 or treat by one doing 100% because by being in a relationship we're stating each action is a shared deal.

Dating is different

[udolipixie]

If it was both of us then I'd stop being some crybaby cow.

^ that means 50/50

[Anonymous]

I like when the guy pays for me. I haven't had any issues with guys not automatically reaching for the bill and I'm glad. If I wanted to take myself out and spend my own money, I would go with my friends or stay home.

It would be a deal breaker for me because I think it's the guy's responsibility. Call me old-fashioned or a gold digger or whatever, but I like feeling appreciated and treated like a princess.

[Icechip]

Well when I take my girlfriend I always pay for her but he missed one time...seems kinda mean to brake it off cause of one time

[Opinion Owner]

Once is alright I guess.

[ShootingStar5]

So if he always pays to make you feel appreciated, what do you do to make him feel appreciated?

[Opinion Owner]

I say thank you and am a good date.

[Icechip]

I would dump you right away if I found that out

[Opinion Owner]

That's fine, I wouldn't date you anyway...?

[ShootingStar5]

That seems a little one-sided =/

[Opinion Owner]

If I were in a relationship, I would surprise him with things like making dinner or renting a movie and bringing ti over to watch. Things that cost my own money.

[FierceMegan]

Not at all, if we are in a relationship I think we should keep it balanced. Plus, I don't expect anything for nothing. We would share responsibilities.

[bond_007]

nice mentality..i wish more girls think like this

[wicksjm]

I don't believe in paying for dates BUT I do believe in contributing my share such as cooking for him! Lets say we go out three dates, on the fourth date, I cook him a wonderful meal that he appreciates more than me paying for a date.

[ShootingStar5]

As long as it's not the first date I think it's fine. Especially since he's always treated you before. I always offer to pay my half because I don't wanna be a mooch.

[ShootingStar5]

And I agree with the guys. Your girl friends sound materialistic.

[tohrment]

He wouldn't have to ask me, I'd be offering anyway.

[phil2]

if he always made me pay for everything, that's a deal breaker

[Anonymous]

no, I expect it, though if this was the first date, definite deal breaker

[daytrader]

It could be that he's not as into you as he used to be.

[beerY33]

Noo. Definitely not. I prefer to pay my half.