How do I get guys to stop asking for my number and asking me out?

[Anonymous]

Every day I get multiple guy asking me out or asking my number and talking to me. My male coworkers do my job for me, buy me food, and always try to talk to me when we are both supposed to be working. Customers ask me out a lot and flirt with me. Guys never want to be just friends. I just hate it.

I have social anxiety and low self esteem. I hate attention and compliments make me uncomfortable. I don’t like receiving help or stuff from people. I am grateful for their kindness, but it makes me feel bad.

I wear huge baggy shirts to hide my body, I wear a minimal amount of makeup, and I never do anything special with my hair. What else can I do?

[PizzaDaddyo]

Very cliché but, just have a great reason or answer for when this happens. Like “I have a boyfriend, or it’s complicated and even mentioning that you’re “working on yourself” can be a solid response and man should respect.


Unfortunately there’s no way guys will for ever stop acting how that do but you can only change you and how you look at the things. It’s sucks because I know that you mentioned that you actively even try to dress differently because of this and apparently it’s not helping is much as you’d like. I know this might not go a long way but I’m a fair looking dude definitely not a pretty boy and I don’t really get compliments or looked at as often as I’d like. I probably get like a compliment once every two months on average. And to be fair it mostly only when I got a hair cut or when I see my mom. Lol at least my mom tells me I’m handsome😅 lol we’ll she has to, haha she’s my mom! But looking back on all the compliments I’ve gotten and only remembering my mom feel kinda shity but, it’s definitely not all about the looks. I guess since I’m a guy and use to this lifestyle I really don’t care at the end of the day too much about my appearance but even as a dude, people judge you just for how you look like 1000%


I will also mention and I hope this helps… please just be strong and work and focus on yourself! I mentioned what I mentioned earlier to reflect on how I nearly never get even a wink and wouldn’t mind a few more my way and there’s people out there that don’t get attention they want. I’m happy with myself though and really have been accepted that I’m not zack effron and fuck being him I love who I am and my family that I came from. I’m also interested to here your view on how its not all fun and games for attractive ladies out there as it’s harder for me to imagine. It definitely sounds not easy but respectfully take the compliment. If you get one be ready to act upon if they’re milking it and doing too much and definitely confront them maybe even too the guy who is relentlessly asking for your number maybe lead them on, give them your number and then after if you text BLOCK HIM! I know you have to take the L a little bit and get the number but once you block somebody they can’t contact you. Just an idea… once again it’s hard to live life and not focus on this but try to focus on yourself. What I mean by that is maybe the environment you are in isn’t the best in your favor, or may be the line of work you are in, is making this easier for men to approach you too. Crazy example maybe if you were dressed up in business, professional clothing working as a boss, lawyer, real estate agent. Automatically you may appeal way more professional, and average dudes may feel intimidated having them think you’re very classy. Once again, just a thought maybe you don’t have to change your whole career path just yet. But I hope any of this helps! Hang in there and good luck!

[Asker]

Thank you for your help 🙂

[PizzaDaddyo]

Aw no probs 👍

[BoopBoopBeep]

Get counseling. You need to work on feeling better about yourself, and that's easier/more realistic than expecting every man in society to understand and accommodate your non-standard request.

[Asker]

I already see 2 psychologist and a psychiatrist. I have for about 10 years now. I am actually a lot better than I was before!

[BoopBoopBeep]

I'd say if they're taking 10 years for the same problem they're fundamentally failing. Apply that to any other doctor/mechanic/carpenter/you name it. People get attached to their shrink and afford them more failure than any other professional in their life who would get fired if they spent as much time and money on problems they didn't solve.

[Legendarylegacy13]

You have 2 psychologist and a psychiatrist? What the f*** type of shyt do you do... lol

[Asker]

I have switched therapists through the years. One of them quit being a psychologist after one or two sessions with me lol. I don’t know if I have anything to do with that though. I stuck with the same psychiatrist for the past 8 years.
I just have a lot to work on lol.

[Asker]

@Legendarylegacy13 ummm do you really want to know 😂😅

[Legendarylegacy13]

Yes I would. Because what happened to Cause you to need. 2 psychologist 1 therapist and a psychiatrist... lol

[Asker]

@Legendarylegacy13 everyone in my family has issues, but my grandmother is the one who caused most of it. She kind of raised all the kids in my family while our parents were working. I love her and I know she loves us, but She is a narcissistic sociopath with DID (Multiple personalities).

[bota_selena]

Same here, I feel you. I dress not well, don't wash my hair and don't do makeup, walk not to be seen. Cause I'm beautiful yeah. I don't want to get attention. If I always look well, everyone just stares at me and feel uncomfy. I don't know your situation but I do these things, it helpes me!

[Asker]

I’m sorry that it happens to you too.

[kylee2437]

That sounds kind of personal if you can’t accept compliments and kindly reject people

[Asker]

I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
I accept the compliments and thank them when they compliment me, but I don’t like receiving them.

[Legendarylegacy13]

I think they call that a self forfilling prophecy. Or low self esteem...

[kylee2437]

Yeah either way it’s still essentially a personal problem and you have to ask yourself why people complimenting you affects you so much. It’s simple as “hey thank you, I’m not looking to give out my number at the moment” or using the excuse “thank you, I have a boyfriend” simple things that will say “hey I appreciate it but no thank you”

[Billlewis]

That's not an easy thing to do... maybe you could have a t-shirt made, that reads, 'Don't Bother Asking -- You're Not Worthy'

[Asker]

That’s not how I feel at all! 😂
I’m just scared of people and relationships (both romantic and platonic) scare me to death.
I do want to get married and have kids one day, so I am working on being more social, but it’s hard.

[Legendarylegacy13]

I am very anti-social but rightfully so... and for a lot of good reasons... lol

[Asker]

@Legendarylegacy13 do you enjoy being anti-social?

[Legendarylegacy13]

Yes, why?

[KrakenAttackin]

You are living a life on super-easy mode, stop bitching.

[Asker]

I am sorry if I offended you with my qualms.
I hope you have a nice day ☺️!

[KrakenAttackin]

I am giving you a reality check. Imagine if you were ugly and had to do everything yourself, with no help, and were invisible to the world.

[Asker]

I want to be invisible to the world. I hate attention.

I can acknowledge that being viewed as beautiful comes with a lot of privileges, but I resent that. Why do people have to judge others based on their appearance?

[KrakenAttackin]

Get a different job. Work from home.

[Asker]

I am trying to be more social. Like exposure therapy.

[KrakenAttackin]

It's apparently not working.

[Asker]

It is! I am actually talking to people! I use to not speak.

[KrakenAttackin]

Fucking hell. You want to be around people but you don't. Go find a job working with ALL WOMEN. I guarantee you will come RUNNING back to your job where men baby you.

[Asker]

That’s because I’m afraid of people, but I am trying to push myself to get over my fear. It’s hard though.
What’s bad about working with all women?

[KrakenAttackin]

Ha! You try it and report back.

[Legendarylegacy13]

And you do therapy?

[Asker]

Um… okay 🙂
Thank you for your suggestions!

[Asker]

@Legendarylegacy13 yes

[Legendarylegacy13]

I don't know , but I think you should appreciate yourself more.

[NYlatefun]

Yeah sure you’re gorgeous, cool.

[Asker]

But I don’t like it! I hate how people treat others differently based on how attractive they perceive the other person to be. It disgusts me.

[KrakenAttackin]

Stop it already.

[Asker]

@KrakenAttackin stop what?
I’m sorry if I upset you in any way.

[Anonymous]

Are you dressing for sexual attention?

[Asker]

No. I wear extremely baggy shirts. Like larges and extra larges with skinny jeans. The shirts are so big that they end mid thigh, so it completely covers my butt (not that there is much to cover lol). I wear tennis shoes or flats. I either brush my hair and leave or put it up in a ponytail. Sometimes I don’t even brush my hair. I wear a very small amount of makeup.
I don’t dress for attention. I dress with the aim of avoiding attention.

[Anonymous]

LMAO!