Would it be crazy to profess your feelings for someone through Linkedin?

[DizzyDesii]

I mean I’m already outta pocket so this shouldn’t be too bad 🤣 Of all people last night, I dreamed of one of my former best friends. We were friends from like HS through half of college. He was ALWAYS there for me but he often wanted to be more. A part of me did as well but I don't know why I couldn’t bring myself to just give in. Like he was sooo cute but he was too tall like 6’4 or 6’5 and his chin was longer than norm so people jokingly called him the Crimson Chin. Still i found him adorable. My mom nicknamed him stripper boy because he joked that he wanted to grow up to become a chippendale stripper but we told him he was probably the same height as the pole. Anyways, in my dream we were hanging out and it almost led to sex but I stopped myself. Then this new idiot text my phone and woke me up. I wouldn’t say I’ve ever been interested in my former friend enough to imagine having sex with him, but I’ve always wanted to kiss him and almost did each time he hugged me from behind, resting his head on my shoulder, staring at me with those puppy dog eyes. We would’ve been a thing if I didn’t push him away, and at one point into the arms of my friend. It was hard seeing them date but I dated others so it was whatever. Then in college, we became close again when he walked me for my awards day. We lost touch when his first girlfriend from HS begged for him back, but she became very controlling and wouldn't let him talk to me anymore. I was being an idiot so I got a new phone number so i didn't have to sit around expecting a text. I haven't seen this dude in like 8 years but that dream shook me and now I miss him. I just dont know if its platonically or in a romantic sense. The crazy part— I don’t have social media, so I came across his profile on linkedin and went to message him but the mfs want you to pay premium. So i just hit connect instead. I feel this is sooo unprofessional and I’m scared of what I’ll say if he accepts my request. 🤣 Is this crazy? #FeelFreeToList

Updates

9 mo

I literally dont want to ever create a social media y'all. GAG is as close as i’ll go lol. It was either connect through linkedin or have a former friend reach out to a former friend which takes even more work of trying to get in touch with either 😂 I usually leave my past dudes and friends where they are at but this dream shook me 🤣🙈 And he enlisted in the army back in college but I hear he’s out but might’ve moved. Our moms went to school together but i dont wanna go that route either 💀

Updates

9 mo

My grandma is hilarious. I showed my mom and her an old photo of me and him together and my grandma said FUCK DAMN HE LOOK GOOD. HE TALL AS HELL BUT JUST LET HIM LEAN ON DOWN FOR YA. HOW’D YOU PASS THAT UP 🤣 He’s always been on my moms good side so ig my grandma is a fan too 😩 Man i really let him get away. Oh wizzle. Either we’ll reconnect or i’ll have a diff new boo before the week ends 🤣

[magiusX26]

well now. it seems you got hit with the "find something to not like about a person" bug way back when. likely from a fear of loosing the friendship. in hindsight, did not allowing yourself to try help? likely now your mind has settled on the full loss of hom being around (subconciously) and you are wondering what may be. i advise being cautious though as he very well may feel spurned (twice possibly) as he tried being friends with you twice already. possibly, his watching you date others hurt him as much or more as you watching him date others did. to put it bluntly, this is a case of you friendzoning him even though you actually desired him (to some degree at least) and keep in mind, that zone does have an expiration date (varies though) .

then again since this is from a dream, it very well could mean nothing real and his appearance in your dream is a bit more coincidental than tangible. it could also be a weird sign that he has moved on from you entirely (sort of a psychic signal/omen) . though i doubt this 1 is the case, it vould even have been his spirit saying goodbye if something such as his passing occured. another posdibility is it was a sign to reach out as it sounds like you plan to do and to which i wish you good luck.

[DizzyDesii]

Holy smokes this is great advice and making me think twice

[magiusX26]

thanks i think. sorry for most of it being negative and chaotic but alas that is the nature of dreams. you may want to reach out with a neutral feeler to get an idea of how he feels. try just asking about him as he randomly came across your mind and curiousity made you feel the need to check up on him.

[AviatorTom]

Sure, go ahead and contact him on LinkedIn. He'll probably like the fact that at least thought of him. I often send messages on LinkedIn to people that I haven't seen in years. And they often reply back... we exchange updates... what has happened in our lives over the years. LinkedIn is more than a place to hire people. It's a way of keeping in touch with people you know, and usually have worked with.

[DizzyDesii]

Thank you :)

[Rosexøxø]

This pains me. If you’re questioning or reminiscing- you’re not just interested, but have feelings already, for him.

Best to reach out and catch up to get any updates because it hurts once they’re with someone and moved on-

Seems like he may have been hurt that you had pushed him to a friend and then seeing you date others. I don't know the relationship between you guys so I don't know, but not to be anxious about anything in life or especially a guy, but at least to get on his radar so if he was considering anyone he may wait a bit remembering old emotions, and at least getting on the same page as each other to know if both already have s. o.’s or other.

Just say hi! Anything before he puts a ring on someone else! 😩😭

[Rosexøxø]

Best to you bothhh

[Rosexøxø]

Old emotions. Old ties. Same vibe

[DizzyDesii]

I definitely wanna day hi and i wouldn't be surprised if the girl from HS did put a ring on him. I kinda can't take myself seriously because im still interested in other people atm but I don't know i still wanna catch up with him

[exitseven]

I understand abput social media. GaG is the only one i ever use. When I became unemployed during Covid my daughter who is a headhunter told me I should get on Linkedin. I had a lot of people wanting to hire me but nothing I was interested in. However, I saw something in a magazine about somebody I went to college with. I had to email her just to let her know I saw the magazine article and she found me through Linkedin and she texted me there.

I think you should definitely do this. It does not have to be weird. You are just saying hello and wonder how he is doing which is the truth.

[DizzyDesii]

Okay yay thank you

[ShadezMcgee]

I would say it is pretty cheap to do over social media. Something like that should be done face to face. Plus this coming out of nowhere despite you liking him and having feelings for so long? You should treat that with respect and should do it face to face.

Plus, if you haven't seen or talked to him in eight years... yeah, this would feel weird and inappropriate if I am looking at it from the receiving perspective. If someone popped into my life after not seeing or talking to them in eight years my guard is up and my immediate thought is "alright, what do you want?"

[DizzyDesii]

He was in the army and i dont think he's still in my city (or state) so I don't know if i can do it in person unless he visits his grandmas restaurant here. And my feelings haven't been “so long”. It was always come and go because I saw him as more of a friend but at times had a thing for him. The dream just reawakened those feels

[ShadezMcgee]

So what would make it any different if it "comes and goes"? It comes across as fleeting interest and disingenuous as to why one would reach out in thebfirst place. Kind of like how a kid has a toy and then another wants that kid's toy and when they get it, they get bored shortly afterward and cast it aside.

If what you are telling me is the case, I wouldn't even bother with it. Long distance isn't worth it.

[DizzyDesii]

He was in the army and stationed in texas for a while so I don't know if he's back here. But texas isn't far from me at all and all his fam is still here. And thats the thing, i think it came and went because people were in my ear back in HS. In college, i probably wouldve gone for him more had his first girl not re-entered his life. And now I don't know if im just missing my former friend or if im missing what we couldve been. But at the same time, i have a lot of love interests atm so I probably wouldn't profess my feels just yet since im not 100% emotionally available

[Christoff92]

If I knew her for a long time I would through IG, FB, or ever GAG if she's a member. But no phantom connection like a person never seen before.

One guy on IG expressed his feelings for someone. He put all his heart even money on the line for her. Wanted to be with her for all eternity. But the poor bastard discovered this was a scammer all along. Took all his money and depleted him. WTF 😱😝 Even members on GAG can be scammers.

Notice why aren't they posting questions. But acting very flirty online with other GAG members.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea no this was an in person friend for like 5 years

[Christoff92]

Ok. So that's good then.

[Lynx122]

Yes that sounds very crazy. You never wanted him enough when he was around so I don't know what you're expecting now. If I was him I wouldn't want to hear from you now. And doing anything through linked in sounds stupid in general but dating stuff especially.

[DizzyDesii]

Ahh oh well

[ariadneR]

You definitely should reach out. You'll regret it if you don't.

You dont have confess your feelings right away wither, let things take their time. Go with the flow, so to speak. There's a reason you had that dream. There's something you need to learn or do, and he has to help you do it

[DizzyDesii]

Its probably best i dont confess anything because i have other interests rn and wouldn't be taking myself seriously

[Anpu23]

This is someone you know, right? It's just another way to connect. I am very active on that site and if some old friend sent me a connection I'd just accept it outright. Then you can be all "Hay, how've you been?" and get phone numbers and work from there. It's not like you are all "I love you, marry me!"

[DizzyDesii]

Yes my friend from 9th grade through half of college. But thats like 2010-2015. Its 2023 🤣 What if he's changed or like married? And yea i definitely wouldn't say i ever loved him so im not going that far 🤣

[Anpu23]

You should be cool.

[talka20]

I read both of your last questions... dang whatsupp with these armed forces guys only haha you are not into any other stuff or what im lowkey confused Desii... do keep us updated bout the new boo or this linkedin boo

[DizzyDesii]

there's a military dude and the linkedin dude who was also in the military but there's also this baseball player so yea its best i just dont make a move rn since im all over the place

[slatyb]

You don't profess your feelings directly. You say "Congratulations on your new position. I enjoyed working with you. Would you be interested in having dinner sometime?"

[DizzyDesii]

We went to school together not work lol

[slatyb]

so change the introduction

[iron_ninjs]

You won't know unless you try. But hold on on the professing of feelings until you see if he's single, and if you really like him.

[DizzyDesii]

For sure

[AlexEfron]

🥲 so you moved on from my cousin? 😂

Also... G@G and LinkedIn? Those are the only social media you use? You have strange choices for social media 🙂

[DizzyDesii]

I told you i move on quick 😂 I mean im sure i’ll eventually rotate back around to your cuzzo. Yea i dont want social media. Linkedin isn't even really social media its for work purposes. And i use discord til im ready to give my number bt thats about it

[AlexEfron]

So.. number for WhatsApp? Or there's some other social media?

True, LinkedIn is for work. Well, to be honest, it's only to boast about achievements in the hopes of impressing recruiters (but then even there you'll find those odd people - like you're trying to be one - who'll slide into your inbox and confess feelings)

[DizzyDesii]

Whatsapp requires you to five your actual phone number. Discord just requires you to use a username tag

[AlexEfron]

Yes... what I meant was, you mentioned you use discord till you're comfortable to share numbers, but share for what? WhatsApp? Or calls only?

And what's your discord tag? 😂 I'll hit you up there

[DizzyDesii]

I dont use whatsapp at all. Just numbers in gen. Because if i block someone by phone, they can keep calling me from a different phone. Discord works better to avoid that.

[AlexEfron]

😂 i never had to experience that 🤣

[RavVid]

Well good luck! Sometimes it works well with old acquaintances/friends.

[DizzyDesii]

Thanks

[BlackJeep]

LinkedIn is a low-key great dating app if you've got a good resume.

[DizzyDesii]

😂🤣

[Jamie05rhs]

No, no... Please don't ruin LinkedIn. Please keep LinkedIn professional for everyone.

[Jamie05rhs]

And yes, you were an idiot to change your phone number lol. Literally no one was bothering you!

[DizzyDesii]

I changed my number like the week after he said she wouldn't let him talk to me anymore. I mean he was gonna keep trying to secretly message me and she had already snapped on me once before in person about it. I just felt it was best to change it so he couldnt contact me

[Jamie05rhs]

Oh, he was? Ohh; well, that changes things.

[DizzyDesii]

I had this one friend who actually told his girlfriend he used to like me and she for sure never wanted us hanging alone again. But i was neeeever into that dude so I don't know why she saw me as a threat. As for this situation withh the guy above, his girlfriend was just a girl a grade above me who i barely ever talked to. But she often saw me and him hanging out in person since their relationship was so on/off. So if i dont blame her for wanting him to cut me off

[Jamie05rhs]

"But i was neeeever into that dude"
So why are you into him now?

[Jamie05rhs]

Oh, nvm. Different dude. I see.

[Jamie05rhs]

And okay.

[DizzyDesii]

Lmao yea i was def into Ti but not Aye

[Jamie05rhs]

Gotcha 👌

[DummyThiccFeraligatr]

Wouldn't bother me a bit. You contact people in the way that you can. You find them where you find them.

[Staximus]

You couldn't get his phone number from a friend or something? That's weird

[DizzyDesii]

Considering i cut them off too after college, no

[Staximus]

You sound like a socially inept person haha

[DizzyDesii]

No im quite the talker and very good at socializing, hosting, and giving public speeches and everything. But im not good at wanting to keep people close enough to maintain longterm friendships. I just get tired of people very quickly and easily

[Staximus]

Well unless they are bad people, there's really no reason to cut them off. I have a lot of friends that I have known since high school. I don't really make any effort to go out and hang out with most of them, I just see them when I see them and we are still friends just like in the past. You need to work on your tolerance for other people. I hope you have at least 1 or 2 long term friends. Every person that I have met that has no long term friends is either a bridge burner, a psycho, or both. Huge red flag.

[DizzyDesii]

They were toxic and i played a part too. We just werent good for eachother in the long run. More of short temporary fun. And yes my longterm friends have been around at least 5-10+ years but i still dont care to be around them at the end of the day. They dont really benefit me in any way

[Staximus]

They don't benefit you in any way? Do you even know what a friend is? They are people you just like being around, they are not there for your benefit. You kind of fit the description of a psychopath.

[DizzyDesii]

I am not saying in a materialistic way. I like friendships that benefit me mentally/emotionally/intellectually and vice versa. Otherwise, they are not someone I want to be around. My so called friends are more of the type who just want you to listen to their probs, give advice and not become better than them in life. I have seen in my friendships and family that if you become more successful in any form, their true colors show. They are major debbie downers and its just not something i want to be around. If that makes me a psychopath then oh wizzle

[LiamJHayden]

I'm from the school of "You miss all the shots you don't take." so I say go for it.

[DizzyDesii]

Normally I’m not indecisive like this because he's not even like a main crush or anything. That dream just made me want to wake and do something I’ve never done. But I also dont wanna come across as getting his hopes up or wasting his time so I’m hesitant

[the_sinner]

Unless the guy you’re speaking to is very strict regarding linkedin messaging ethics it shouldn’t crazy. I hate the app though, so demotivating.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea i like never login there. Maybe once every few months

[Alex8736]

100% crazy because anything you post will come back to haunt you

[DizzyDesii]

It would be in private messages

[Alex8736]

Personally I think it's better in person or over the phone but that's just my opinion 😀

[DizzyDesii]

I mean yea. If he replies and wants to keep in touch then yea I’d prob day the rest by phone 🤣

[Alex8736]

Best way to break the ice 😀

[Abdulwahh]

I dont kniw much about linkedin but try to get a contact number or email, Marry this guy lol

[DizzyDesii]

Haaaa