How to charm a guy without being obvious?

[Anonymous]

I have been eating lunch with a coworker since beginning of the year and have been developing a small crush. I have had poor luck asking men out in the past and would like to charm this guy into asking me out this time. What should I do? Teach me seduction techniques my friends. How should I win this guys heart?

[Rando42069deezenuts]

I'm no Casanova but I am a dude, here is my perspective. First thing to keep in mind is that as a female, generally you can get away with more shit. So with that said you can try: wearing more revealing clothing, heavy eye contact, decreasing distance and personal space, casual touching. Try standing or sitting close to him, if he backs away or gets all tense, his shoulders shrug up, give him space. Depending on his sexual experience he may either be uninterested or uncomfortable expressing interest. If he let's you close though, make note of that. Look for casual reasons to touch him, ask to see his watch, tattoos etc then touch that body part. I had a female coworker who wound up having a bit of trouble because she kept putting her hands on dudes chests and arms and they all thought she was trying to seduce them. A lot of us wanted to fuck her. Physical touch is a powerful tool. Try asking about his life and sharing honesty about yours. Vulnerability=Connection. By honestly expressing your feelings, experiences etc. You give him permission to express his. Men are emotional too, if you want him to express them, he needs to feel safe. Most men are taught not to express them, and have found most women really only pay lip service to the notion. If he thinks you'll get the ick, he will remain stoic and closed off. If he shies away from romantic or sexual subjects even when you guys are comfortable, and he doesn't seem to like physical contact, move on. If it feels like he's keeping you at an arms length or he never seems interested, you're probably right. If he never wants to see you outside work, that's another sign. Also, make sure he's single. I can't speak for all men, but I think I can speak for most of them. We are horny apes, if we are attracted, we will fuck you. If you guys do fuck, but he doesn't seem interested in you on a personal level and doesn't seem to want to spend time with you. He doesn't, move on. Remember, you are female, men will approach you. Most people only come into our lives for a short period of time, that's O. K. He is at most a part of your story. Love yourself, have a coffee, have a wank, bang a rando, live. If you want dick, go to a bar, if you don't like the ones on offer, they have some great swingers clubs in Toronto and Berlin. I personally am not a fan of dick, but I've seen dudes with abs there, and some elephant dicks (normal ones too, whatever you're into) also I've banged some attractive women. It's not emotionally satisfying, but it will get the animal out. Good luck, happy hunting.

[Asker]

I don’t like casually hooking up. He’s on the market for a relationship, I know because I have run into his profile online. But I didn’t swipe on him as he’d know I did and that would create unnecessary fear in him in case he doesn’t want me like that. So I know that he’s single and from his dating profile i know a lot about his likes and dislikes too. We do have lunch almost everyday just the two of us so hopefully I’ll be able to open up more to him and see if he reciprocates. I will try to invite him in a few group setting outside work activities and maybe eventually we will be by ourselves one day. I don’t know

[Rando42069deezenuts]

Are you O. K just being friends with him? If you approach him as a friend that might be all you end up being. The dating app thing might have been awkward but it would also have made things clear. In the long run you're investing a lot of time and energy into this person. Wanting a real connection before you pursue anything is fine but if you play it too safe you may just get nowhere slow. Inviting him out is a good idea. Maybe things are a little different on the female side, but you won't get what you want if you don't ask for it. I can also understand not wanting to make things awkward, given you work with him. I'd ask him out for coffee, it's not overtly sexual but it also lets him know you want to spend time with him not simply out of convenience.

[Anonymous]

Are you ready to navigate the awkward hell of if things don’t pan out and you still have to deal with him at work?

[Asker]

We only live once and if there’s a genuine chemistry, I wouldn’t wanna skip exploring it out of fear of awkwardness. I have dated a coworker in the past and we are fine. I think I can deal with it he’s the one that asks me out. If I ask and get rejected, that’d make things awkward for me.

[Opinion Owner]

You’d probably be the one having to confess, so whichever the outcome just ready yourself.

[Anonymous]

Ask him if he's like to hang out after work sometime.