Guys is he pulling away? did the interest fade out?

[Anonymous]

So... met this dude online, been 5 months & we finally clicked last week...
I don't know what happened to me, but I became flirty to the point that he would say "making me blush here" ... and then flirt back & sometimes more than me! But honestly I feel like I initiated it & overdid it especially after having learned that his walls were up & on guard these past months from me because he was afraid to get hurt & that he was a coward... So I overdid it with the reassurance & flirting..

Over the weekend he didn't send any good morning texts like he consistently did weekdays, so I shot him one, only to get a response 12 hours later... Mind you, he was online most of the time too- I was actively checking🤷🏻‍♀️.

So the next day I shot him another text in the afternoon, and said he was at the back of my mind & I hope we can text soon (felt a little too needy to be honest)
So he DOES text back the next day with a good morning text, only for the conversation to quickly dry out & give me one word responses every 30 mins or so- while he's still online talking to somebody else!
I said I needed to log off & immediately he responded with "Cheerio, have a good day ☺️", & continued to be online ALL DAY!
Today, NOBODY TEXTED.

Men please,
Did I overdo it with him?
Is there somebody else?
Did I stroke his ego too much?
Is there a way for him to get back?
What's the next step when he texts me back?

I need help! I was trying to be reassuring & to be fair, my heart really melted when I learned he was afraid of getting hurt & probably why my mommy instincts kicked in & did so much reassuring...
I feel terrible 😣

What do I do? Should I be honest about this? Also how does he feel? Like why did he pull away?

[Oliverlogan263]

Okay sis, it does sound like maybe you came on a bit strong after things started heating up last week. A few things could be going on:

- You're right that reassuring him and flirting a lot might have stroked his ego too much too fast. Guys can definitely pull back when they feel like someone is too into them too soon.

- It's possible he got intimidated by the intensity since as you said, he had his walls up from being hurt before. You knocking them down so quickly could have freaked him out.

- Or he may be talking to someone else now and lost interest after things got flirty between you two. Five months is a while to be talking without meeting up.

My advice would be to back off for a bit and let him come to you. Don't send any more double/triple texts without replies. Just be pleasant but casual if he does message. He may just need space to miss you again.

Give it a week or so - if he doesn't reach out, I'd say let him go sis. You don't want to chase someone who isn't that excited to see you. But if he comes back around, take it slower this time! Feel things out before pouring your heart out so soon. You'll be a'ight - his loss if he's not man enough for you!

[Asker]

As much as this stings, I really do thank you so much for being so kind delivering this... I broke down & I'm in so much pain... thank you for being a kind soul, Oliver ♥️

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw sis I'm so sorry, I know this feeling sucks so bad. Breakdowns are totally understandable though, been there many times myself. Just know that your worth isn't defined by one guy's actions or whether he texts back - you're amazing with or without a dude!

Let yourself feel all the feels for now, cry it out, eat some ice cream - do what you need to heal. Then over the next few days start refocusing on you. Spend time with your girls, pick up a new hobby, work on loving yourself EVEN MORE.

The hurt will fade I promise, even if it doesn't feel like it now. And you never know, letting things calm down could end up working in your favor too - he may realize what he's missing. But don't bet on that.

For now just nourish your heart, believe in yourself, and keep putting one foot in front of the other. You've got this, queen! I'm always here if you need an ear too. Now go treat yo'self, you deserve it 💖

[Asker]

This is so sweet & gentle the way you put it ♥️ thank you so much for this Oliver- wish we had so many people like you truly 🥹
He just texted me commenting on my WhatsApp display picture- he said "Good morning 😱!
Where was your profile picture taken?
You look beautiful, it’s a very nice dress."

He hasn't texted since then- should I act normally around him? I don't know what to do to be honest..

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, don't overthink it too much! That was a nice compliment he gave you, so I wouldn't read too much into the lack of follow up text yet.

My advice would be to play it cool - don't double text trying to continue the convo if he doesn't reply. When/if he does text again, just act normal and friendly like you're not stressing either way. Ask him a casual question about himself to shift the focus.

Like you could say "Thanks! That dress is my fave. So what are you up to this weekend, any fun plans?" Keep it light and positive. Ball's in his court now - let him come to you.

Don't obsess over analyzing every little thing! Go hang with your girls or do something you enjoy to take your mind off it for a bit. He'll either come around acting right or won't, but no use losing sleep till you know for sure what's what.

My bet is he's still feeling things out since you guys just started talking. Give it some time and breath - everything will work itself out how it's meant to be! Chin up sis, you've got this.

[Oliverlogan263]

Awww and you’re welcome too 🌹🌹🌹 ☺️ thank you for the sweet words

[Hellur991]

It sounds like ur one of his side pieces. Doesn't really care much about you. If he really liked you back he would be flooding u up just as much you flood him back with messages. Ur okay, just look for other side pieces as well. Hey when the time is right, he'll come back around again. And ur going to mature. And completely stop messaging him. He's not really interested just edging u on sis.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for this ♥️ I truly appreciate it 🥹.
Do guys know how cruel this is, or am I just too much? Because I'm breaking down right now because of it...

[Hellur991]

Many men do it to boost their ego, basically to see how many women will be obsessed with them, while they know deep down it will go no where with them. I would say keep strong, and never fall knees deep for them, unless they putting their effort in to meeting up with you consecutively. Don't take anything serious be strong and eventually you'll definitely find the one. This one isn't it at the moment

[Asker]

Thank you so much for this... As a guy, how can I take my power back when he comes back? I really need something to help my pride?

[moneymagnet24]

Every guy have backup plan so absolutely yes he has someone

[Asker]

So he actually didn't think about me in any way?

[LaurenM1997]

Not every guy has a back up plan don’t listen to him 🤦‍♀️

[moneymagnet24]

@asker
Yes ma'am

[Asker]

But I see him online talking to someone else it's killing me😣😣😣 How do I get back in the game? What do I do when he texts back?

[moneymagnet24]

As i said earlier we guys have backup plan so it's obvious he is talking to someone..

In your matter I need more information..

[Asker]

What kind of information do you need to know? I know he's talking to someone I just need to know how to play it exactly when he platonically texts me out of the blue to string me along that's all🥲

[LaurenM1997]

Guys don’t have a backup plan he’s just messing

[moneymagnet24]

Ah ohk may be you're right you have more experience with many guys so who knows. 🙃

[LaurenM1997]

I don’t have MANY guys

[Asker]

Y'all I'm keeping myself busy. I need to move on. Thank you Lauren ♥️ but I see him online almost throughout the day when at work. He used to text me throughout the day at work too.. he definitely has a back up... and if he doesn't, then he most certainly doesn't like me enough to reciprocate my love... 🥲

[Asker]

@moneymagnet24 - As a guy, how would you advise me to take my power back & increase my value in his eyes?
I feel so naked having given him all sorts of signs- I just need something that helps my pride... something that would make him chase me, even if transient. help?

[moneymagnet24]

God given extra power to girls..
Seduce him 🙃

[Asker]

We're long distance😅 should I post pictures to something sexier you mean?

[moneymagnet24]

You can pm me
Don't want to discuss here in public 😂

[Asker]

It's not allowing me to text🙈

[moneymagnet24]

Follow me so I can text you