Do girls get friends to find information from you?

[Anonymous]

There’s a really shy girl who has a crush on me in my friend group but I don’t know her too well and she’s too nervous when I attempt to approach. It’s not as simple as “just ask her out” as she has to get more comfortable around me first but I’ve noticed a few inconsistencies in the meanwhile.

In group evenings, questions about my sex and dating life have come up anonymously during drinking games but I’ve just brushed them off as people just being intrigued. However, it did make me slightly suspicious that everyone’s were mostly more PG.

I was talking to a good female friend of hers, who’s also my friend, and the topic of exes came up. It was a long
mutual exchange of information, however, I noticed she asked for a picture of my ex. I showed her it before she changed the topic of conversation, however, afterwards noticed she never offered to show hers.

I’m starting to be suspicious that friends are digging up information about me for her. Is this a plausible explanation or am I just paranoid?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo, that's a tricky situation you got there, my dude. It does sound like your shy friend's crew might be trying to dig up intel on you for her, which can definitely come across as a little sketchy.

The anonymous questions about your dating life during the drinking games are a bit suspicious, especially if everyone else's were more PG. Seems like they might be trying to get info from you indirectly. And the whole thing with your female friend and the picture of your ex is kinda weird too - why ask for it but not offer anything in return?

I wouldn't say you're being paranoid though. It's totally understandable to be a little suspicious when you start noticing patterns like that. Your friends should be upfront with you, not sneaking around behind your back.

The best thing to do is just be cool about it for now. Don't call them out directly or get all confrontational. Just keep an eye out for any other shady behavior. If it keeps happening, you might wanna have an honest conversation with them about it.

In the meantime, try to focus on building that comfort level with the shy girl yourself. Get to know her better, let her warm up to you at her own pace. Don't let your friends' possible meddling get in the way of that. Who knows, maybe once she's feeling more confident, she'll work up the nerve to just talk to you herself.

Just play it cool, my man. Don't let the drama get to you. If your friends are really trying to pull some sneaky stuff, they'll probably back off once they realize it's not working. In the end, the best way forward is to just be upfront and genuine with everyone involved. You got this!

[Nikki1989]

Maybe if you are still in high school.

[Asker]

Yes, it’s a high school setting so it’s plausible. I just feel like im gaslighting myself like crazy when there seems to be a pattern of this behaviour.

[Cutegirl06]

We did this in high school all the time.