Should I make the first move?

Question

I started to notice a coworker of mine admiring me from afar and having his eyes locked in on me the moment I enter the building, so because of that my thoughts of him shifted to being interested in getting to know him more. He is starting to warm up to me more by waving and saying hey, but he is really reserved so it never goes beyond those interactions, I want to express my interest in him but I don’t want to come across as pushy or weird. How should I approach him?

SueShe · Accepted Answer

Showing interest will come across as pushy or weird but above all, it will come across as very needy. What are your ultimate goals by wanting to make the first move?

Is your reasoning doing the talking or rather your estrogen and progesterone? Think of the consequences. This guy obviously only wants one thing and then what? Once he got what he wanted then, he is going to drop you like a hot potato. You are no longer a novelty but just another number he could add on his body count, a new victim.

The worst thing is to start fornicating a coworker. If you like trouble at work, jealousy and drama, then of course, go for it. One never copulates with a coworker, never.

IslaTheWitch · Accepted Answer

first, check if he isn't in a relationship... he can be reserved for a reason...

MannMitAntworten · Accepted Answer

Take lunch together. Just be casual, “want to join me for lunch today?” Don’t expect him to pay for you. Granted it doesn’t mean he will not offer but don’t be surprise if you being a co-worker he plays it safe and you two go “dutch”. The point is you get him to go and get a better feel for him and see how the conversation flows. Gathering ‘intelligence mission’ so to speak. Proceed (or not) from there.

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

Oh you can just go and talk to him. He wants you to. Just approaach him as a person. Just like "hey, how's it going" and whatever else you want. anything. Just talk. You don't have to try and be flirty or send signals or anything. Just talk to the guy you want to talk to anyway. Stop second guessing yourself. I can promise you he will not think you pushy or weird.

Do it. 1000%

🙂

AviatorTom · Answer

On an average day, tell him you're going to lunch and ask if he would like to join you.

CeramicsandMusic · Answer

I’m a little late to the conversation but this is so very cool! I’m really happy for you that you’re deciding to go for it and get to know him a little more; that takes a lot of courage. I believe that it’s mostly the reserved and shy guys/men that are the ones who want you to make the first move, mainly because I’m one of them. 😊 Trust me, there are guys/men out there who would really respect and admire that—myself included. 🙂 I would wager that you made his day (s) and made him feel really really good—that’s so cool of you!! Don’t worry about seeming pushy or weird or any of that nonsense; you’re taking initiative and that’s really impressive, especially to the people that matter. The world needs more women like you! And I’ll keep hoping things go well for you! 🤞🤞 And good luck with work. 🙂

WindAtMyBack · Answer

If anything is going to happen, somebody has to make a move. It's not pushy or weird or needy. It's just a simple fact that somebody has to make a move.

So the answer is yes. If you are interested, make a move. You can't control whether he makes a move or not, but you can control whether you do.

Blunky · Answer

Invite him to go grab a coffee or just meet at a coffee shop / cafe where you can sit down and have a conversation beyond small talk. No obligations, no need to make it a date. That way you can get a feel for each other outside of work.

Doing this stuff at work tends to make coworkers / managers uncomfortable / jealous and opens you guys up for complaints and scrutiny.

fish5505_87 · Answer

Maybe, in some way, just try to keep a couple conversations longer then "Hi". The move onto such if you are still intrigued? Good Luck!

NicholasRedone · Answer

So you want him or crave him however? Be wary none of you loses their job and keep it all 18 plus consensual - if one of you is underage forget any romance you're thinking of, vomit 🤢

elizamichale1 · Answer

There's nothing wrong in making the first move... maybe he is waiting for ur response to take things further

exitseven · Answer

Wayne Gretsky says that he misses 100% of the shots he does not take. A friend of mine from a long time ago told me that the worst thing that can happen is that she says no.

serious · Answer

Well, if you genuinely like him then there is nothing wrong in making the first move. There should be no ego in these things.

es20490446e · Answer

When people make these kinds of questions they forget one detail: showing interest doesn't need to be overly explicit.

Showing interest can be a simple as having a conversation, grabbing some lunch together, and just interacting. For instance this is the best way to get to know someone.

Same with expressing attraction or sexual desire. It can be easygoing compliments, jokes or touches.

The most important thing: to keep the interaction going.

EmmaMary · Answer

Just go up and beg him to give you a damn good fucking... Simples!

RavVid · Answer

Mostly by being approachable and stopping for a moment to have a few words

Nikki1989 · Answer

Make a move, why?  Nothing here suggests any good reasons to do so.

lorenzomichael · Answer

Nowadays, it doesn’t matter if you’re digging on that person go ahead don’t let nothing stop. It might be the best movie you’ve ever made in your life.

Shy_Steve · Answer

Definitely. Just try to talk to him when your alone and just ask questions like where he lives or where who grew up etc then just try to relate to what he answers.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes. The worst he can say is no. And no is better than not knowing.

glennos89 · Answer

Hell yeah grab the bull by the horns instead of waiting💪🏼🫶🏼

Shaunarthur · Answer

Literally, just tell him you're interested in getting to know him more. Actually say it. He will either be flattered and confused, but give him a minute and he'll catch up. Otherwise, he'll reject you and you move on. Spell it out for him.

David_beckham · Answer

I don't think there's a "rule" that women should not make the first move. And just in incase there is, I think it's wrong at all points.

Fireguy17 · Answer

Yes, because if you don't the new temp with the big boobs they just brought in will.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, you should. I'll never understand why women just sit passively on their hand hoping the guy they like will make a move instead of just taking some initiative.

Sal_Monella · Answer

Walk up to him and simply say: "Maybe you can take me out for coffee sometime and we can get to know each other".

oceandepth1000 · Answer

as a really shy guy with so many mental disorders please show interest in him im sure he will appreciate it! just try to see where it goes. good luck

blackeagle007 · Answer

Why not? I think more women need to make a move. I never make moves anyone. Gotten bad feedback

Zoe04 · Answer

Take a chance at it.

masterSir · Answer

YES! we men either don't see it, think she's not into us, or specially at work sexual harassment claims and getting fired or worse.

4ngriffKitty36 · Answer

Make a silent and patient approach on him to observe his intentions on you. Just like lions doing on their preys ;)

Anonymous · Answer

Very interesting question because this will never be the norm or at least I just highly doubt it

Eempriyanka · Answer

Keep it casual.. and don't reveal too much about you

Anonymous · Answer

Woman should never make the first move because its a huge turn-off for us guys 😑

Anonymous · Answer

I would wait for him to approach. It kills the chase if you pursue him.

PaleDale · Answer

Just start a conversation, laugh. Guys love that.

Alexa6 · Answer

Yes before someone else beats you to it.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Don't shit where you eat

MasterKS · Answer

why not? go for it.

Jeff51 · Answer

I say go for it.

CubaPirate · Answer

Go for it girl what have you got to lose

Anonymous · Answer

Yes you should, most guys like that.

RedInnocent69 · Answer

Absolutely

In_Trance · Answer

Yeah

Anonymous · Answer

interesting question

Should I make the first move?

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