No Intimacy after 3 months of dating

[Anonymous]

I have known her for almost a year now and have been dating for the last three months. Our relationship has been amazing, but every time I try to become intimate with my girlfriend she pushes me away and tells me that it is too much. She is 6yrs older than me, and I know that she has experience so why am I getting the cold shoulder. She has told me that she was in a long term relationship 3 years ago but she has no feelings for her ex so I don't think she is heartbroken or anything. She has no problems touching me, every time we start making out she will rub my junk and try to become intimate, but will always leave me hanging in the end. I don't know what to do because I feel like I have given myself to her but she will not let me so much as touch her. What really makes this more ridiculous is that she just recently asked me if I would be okay moving with her to another university 2yrs from now. I am not sure how to handle this situation because I feel like she is trying to trap me.

[Maria92]

Girl code: If you want to keep a boyfriend, prolong sex. Most girls believe that giving in right away can satisfy a guy enough that he will move on to the next best thing. She fears losing you. She is older, which leaves her even more self conscious because she feels that she has to measure up to the younger girls. She cares for you enough to wait to have sex. Sex makes a relationship even stronger, but it is not necessary for it to work. Don't rush her, if you care for her. If it really does bother you, talk to her about it. Ask her why ya'll haven't had sex yet. She isn't trapping you; be thankful because there are many women that would trap men with babies or stds. She's just trying to establish a long term relationship. Best wishes.

[Anonymous]

Have you ever asked her why this is happening?

Once, when I was only about 22, I had a boyfriend I didn't sleep with for three months. I was INCREDIBLY attracted to him, but a bit gunshy because of my strong feelings and because my last relationship was me being used by an older, more experienced guy. We fooled around a lot, but I too was too afraid to take the plunge into sex. I kick myself now, because I should have just talked to him about it. I was afraid he'd be mad at me for talking about my past in any way shape or form. Of course, he dumped me.

Now I feel like a dummy for not communicating in my relationship, even though it's been years. Live and learn.

[Asker]

She will say that it is her not me if she notices that I look frustrated so I believe she is well aware. I have tried multiple times to touch her gently on her chest and I get tears from her so I just gave up on it because it makes me feel like its my fault.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not asking if she's aware you want sex. We're females we're aware that guys get mad when we're not laying them.

I meant, have you asked her to explain why she is so unhappy about sex? It's not typical for a woman to get that upset about sexual activity as an adult. Touching her breasts is not asking her what's happening ... I don't just mean asking "Why can't you just get me off already" but asking her gently why she is having so much difficulty enjoying sex and intimacy..

[Asker]

I have tried asking her gently and she just says "sorry to worry you, I will be happy" she dries her tears and puts on a fake smile and shuts me out...every time.

[Opinion Owner]

Sounds like she has some emotional issues. Do you WANT to talk to her about them? I mean, nothing says you're tied to this woman.

But if you have feelings for her and think its worth it, it may be a difficult road. The more comfortable she feels with you, the more forthcoming she should be about her problems. You don't have to decide what happens 2 years from now, though ... take it day by day. Let her know you care and want to help her (if you do).

[Asker]

I would really like to make this work so maybe I will just give it more time and see what happens. thanks for the advice

[Opinion Owner]

Keep the lines of communication open. Taking more time, but changing nothing won't necessarily help. Good luck :)

[noobseaplenty]

WHY are you in a relationship THIS LONG without getting any? It is insane! Who the hell told you that this is in any way normal. I usually break off a relationship after three dates without sex, let alone three months, you don't have to be like me, but it seems you are pretty desperate to stay with someone this long, it's time to stop being so desperate

[mmiller17]

Maybe she's not fully over the ex.

Don't make her feel like sex is all you want.. its a turn off. But start by asking what's wrong.. what's been on her mind.

[Asker]

I have never asked her for sex, I usually let her move first and I will follow with it and I'm a very patient.

[Anonymous]

She's wacked, bro. Trust me. Eject. I can can tell you with certainty that she's a nutter.

[Anonymous]

Guess she wants to keep you hanging and keep the control.

[ibej818]

Simple answer

"She's just not that into you"