Why do guys hit on me more when I look bad?

[Anonymous]

I've noticed a strange phenomenon. I -always- get hit on when I look bad (or when I feel I look bad). When I feel I look really great, I get nothing.

Today I went to the grocery store, and I looked terrible, honestly. My hair was pulled up into a crappy, un-smooth bun. I was wearing a tank, sports bra, and shorts. And I was wearing my glasses. The guy at the register KEPT hitting on me. Like "Where are you from?" "Where do you go to school?" "Here's a discount..."

The above scenario has happened to me a lot. But never when I actually look polished/good.

Why?

[Anonymous]

It's hard to say when I cannot factor in the two images. When you "look bad" and when you "look good" is obscure without pictures of you, so I'll attempt to make sense of it in two ways.

One assumes it is an opinion you created. Not knowing whether you are or not one of those girls who slather makeup on themselves to "look pretty", I can only assume you do something that will cause an unfavorable reaction when you "look good", But if don't that only leaves the second one. (one that I can personally relate to but unsure of as far as society goes)

This one assumes many guys are like myself. That is, girls who don't try as hard to look good usually look better. Yes, I do find a girl wearing a t-shirt and pajama pants, messy hair, and no make up one more appealing (if not by appearance, by the fact that it seems like they are not as vain). In that sense, guys would more so appreciate a girl that doesn't mind showing her worse side, especially if her worse side looks good. Almost like the thought "If she looks good without trying then she must be naturally gorgeous" passes through the mind. It can also be a matter of preference. I find that the scene style of appearance is more attractive to me than the more popular looks that many try to have. Some things are just over-done, and people want something new. Not caring about appearance is not new, but it is different, so when you look bad in your eyes, some guys might find that same look attractive on the basis that it's not a look you see everywhere.

To some it up, you probably look good regardless of how you see yourself, but (I assume) your style is common (or seemingly so to guys). The more unique you are, the more you pop out, so messy hair and random clothing you have thrown on will catch more attention especially if you look good despite that.

[MrOracle]

When you look really good, you seem unattainable to a lot of guys. They assume you have a bunch of rich, handsome, popular guys with big penises and even bigger checking accounts hitting on you, because you look so good. They assume that they could never compete with that, so they don't try, because they fear rejection.

When you are dressed down, you seem more approachable, and less of a "risk" of rejection. Plus, you may look sexier (to guys) when you aren't so obviously TRYING to be sexy.

This is quite common, actually, but most girls won't listen when we tell you that the problem isn't that you don't look good enough. Sometimes the problem is that you look TOO good.

[stillagoodgirl]

I agree

[skittledittle]

OMG! my girls and I were JUST discussing this. happens all the time. if we go get dressed for dinner or a night out, forget it! but let me walk into target in a tank and sweats, and I'm swatting men away like flies.

we did, however, come to the conclusion that most of these gentlemen shared, but a little different:

men will approach you when you look like you've made no effort because you look less intimidating AND because you still look good without effort, therefore he can only imagine how good you'd look when you get dolled up.

i, for one, cannot understand that. if I'm getting all cutesy around you, it would be to look better for your viewing pleasure, not to have you running for the Himalayan mountains!

plus this is confusing because girls are taught to NOT look a mess to reel in men. we're taught that sweats and t-shirts get you nowhere, but apparently not! haha

[stillagoodgirl]

I've noticed this too! My guess is you don't look high maintenance or intimidating

[Prof_Don]

With some guys, when a girl is really REALLY primped up and is really attractive, he may think that she is only interested in guys just as high-caliber looks-wise as you.

I know...it's a VERY strange catch-22.

How does primping yourself to look yummy and sexy REPEL men, right?

You females do primp yourselves for yourselves and your self-confidence, but you do like some male attention as well!

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On the flipside, if you're dressed "as a mess", as in not primped up, in plain pajama or around-the-house type clothes, you look more approachable, and to guys you look like you'd be more receptive to a dude dressed in everyday clothes.

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Dudes have to stop thinking so damn much and just go after what he wants (although it's easier said than done). :)

[taster]

Females are usually mistaken as to what attracts guys...or they don't care...for whatever reason, they spend a lot of time seeking approval for their appearance from other women..I will give you an example...hundreds of years ago when I was a boy...females always thought that EVERY damn hair on their head had to patted or pasted exactly into place...and they used hairspray, starch, perms, barettes, and bobby pins...even though males clearly liked the wind-blown look way better...which is what took over the modeling agencies...but could not tell a female a damn thing..in fact...their response was remarkably similar to the comments I hear on GAG today...o.O

[AlwaysBelieving]

It's not so much when you look bad, it's more that you don't give a care at the moment what you look like and that smells of confidence. I experienced this when I was 22 so now I go out when I go out looking as I do. (besides the cowlick in the hair does what it wants no matter what gel I use)

[TheAnswerer]

Hmm...

May be you look "out of their league" when you are all dressed up?

If a girl looks "too" beautiful, some guys think that the girl must be a big challenge, and they move on to... "easier targets", if that makes sense.

[bDizzie]

because you're less intimidating when you're dressed down, however I'm not encouraging people to dress down!

[posted]

Too intimidating imo.

[Asker]

But then...what's the solution to that?

I don't know what I'm doing that would be intimidating to guys.

[posted]

Idk if I see a girl that is more calm and and just chilling by the lake by herself I might be willing to say hey what's up blah blah blah. If a girl looks more lets say normal instead of all dressed up an fancy I guess it gives off more of an "I'm not going to immediately say f*** off I'm too good for any of you".

[Little-Hippie]

The lion always hunts the weakest, slowest antelope in the back of the herd.

Nothing satisfies like a sure thing.

[Frostie]

Probably because you look less intimidating but cute enough to approach. Hahaha.