My boyfriend is now a famous model and I'm insecure..

[Anonymous]

Not so much that he'll leave me as much as he'll stop thinking I'm the most beautiful girl in the world. He's surrounded by such beautiful women at all times and it kills me inside. I know he finds them attractive (who wouldn't?), but I'm so afraid he won't find me that attractive anymore, that ill just descend to being an average woman. Where I know I have an edge over the other girls is my personality. But I also want him to desire me.. Ate personality and looks mutually exclusive?

[v0nDutch]

Men and women are really not that different.

Have you ever noticed that really good-looking women end up with guys that are not nearly as good-looking? Similarly, really good-looking men end up with girls that are not nearly as good-looking. Why? Negotiating power.

A guy's good looks give him negotiating power in a relationship. He can command a certain quality of woman, because he has value to offer a woman - his looks. He knows this, and it gives him a certain level of control in the relationship.

If he's a 9, for example, and he's dating a 9, the relationship is balanced. If he's a 9 and he's dating a 10, he's getting the better end of the deal, and the woman may know it. So, she'll have the upper hand in this relationship and call all the shots. He may not like being in that kind of relationship, as most good-looking guys don't.

So, the kind of relationship he may prefer being in is one where he's the one in control. He may prefer to have the upper hand in the relationship. That doesn't necessarily mean he's a bad person, or that he'll even "use" the power he has in the relationship to unfairly take more than he gives. Yet, it does mean that he enjoys the added security his position of power gives him, namely, to not have to constantly fight off and defend himself against being taken advantage of or abused in a relationship.

The beauty of other women is actually a source of weakness - for them. Your looks disparity relative to your boyfriend is actually a source of your power. He feels comfortable and secure with you, and he's unlikely to trade that up just to be with someone better-looking.

Think about his actions, and what that says about what's actually important to him. He could clearly trade "comfort & security" and "upper hand relationship power" in exchange for "better looks" any time. But he doesn't. Why? Because the former is more valuable to him than the latter. So, honestly, these other girls don't stand a chance.

[Girlsdonotwantme]

This happenned to my ex a lot even though I am nowhere near model looking. I just had good looking "girl friends". I didn't understand why she got so insecure about it. Yeah some beauty is objective, she didn't accept my answers that I wasn't interested in them, because they were good looking. Most of the time though, I wanted to just be with her as I saw her 230948x more attractive than other girls because I WAS WITH HER.

Personality and Looks are not always mutually exclusive. Finding someone attractive is one thing. Acting on it is completely different. If he hasn't cheated on you already, he probably won't now. He still wants you only.

[Anonymous]

Models are often the dumbest most vaccuous creatures on the planet. They aren't even that good at sex - they tend to pose too often, obsess over flaws you can't see, and let the man do all the work.

They may look great on a magazine cover, once Photoshop has done its work, but spend 5 minutes alone with one and you'd realize why they are single so often.

[antonlikesmlb]

If he didn't cheat on you or break up with you while he was a regular model, he isn't going to do it just because he is famous. It's not like models suddenly get hotter when you're famous.

[Anonymous]

You should be. Why he has a girlfriend now is beyond me anyway. When he does want to settle down, his options are much better now.