A girl I like just broke up with her boyfriend. Should I ask her out?

[GAG1989]

I like this girl and she JUST broke up with her boyfriend. I want to ask her out but I don't know if it's too soon or not. I don't want to be the "rebound" guy to her but I also don't want her to get with some guy that's not me

[ZabrinaTai]

i reckon it's too soon, but it depends on the girl and the reason for their breakup.

she might want a break from dating, and if you ask her out too soon, she might see that as you trying to take advantage of her breakup.

who she gets with is not really up to you, but if you're friends, stick close to her and comfort her whens she's upset.

if you're not, then you can observe how she's acting around guys. if she's distancing herself from them, she's probably not ready for dating again.

just remember, most girls are great at putting up a strong front, even if they're crumbling and falling apart inside.

she could be flirting and throwing herself at guys just to show her boyfriend that she's moved on.

the best thing to do is wait and observe.

[GAG1989]

She broke up with him (99.9% sure) because she found out he was "talking" to other women. When she was confronting him about it, he said "you don't have enough time for me". She does basketball, volleyball, track, dance and cheerleading. Plus I think she was up for homecoming queen so she was busy with that. On top of school and other stuff, it was too much for him. I don't want to believe she would do the same to me but I also don't want her to quit anything for me, ya know?

[ZabrinaTai]

Yeah, I get it.

If you are fine with all her commitments, let her know. Tell her you are okay with her being so busy, and that you don't want her to quit anything just to make more time to be with you. After all, she does so much sports and stuff, you could always go watch her games. she wants to be homecoming queen? support her.

that should be very important to her I think.

[GAG1989]

I think that's what she wants, I forget. I don't know what to do to support her as just a guy, she MIGHT like

[ZabrinaTai]

who says you can't go to her games and support her as just a friend? :D

if you have her number, text her good luck before a big game, that's pretty friend-ish.

[GAG1989]

Just don't want to fall into the "friend zone", that's why now is sort of my chance, ya know? (I was already talking to her)

[ZabrinaTai]

yeah trying to stay close but not getting 'friend zoned' is difficult sometimes.

Maybe if you want, instead of just texting good luck, you could get her a small good luck charm, like a bracelet or something, before a final?

or you could always give her a playful good luck kiss on the cheek.

I reckon that is more 'potential boyfriend' kind of thing.

[vera123]

No. Not yet. By jumping on her right away, it makes you look like you don't really care about her feelings and what she is going through. Even though you are doing it with the best intentions, it does seem a tad bit selfish. I'm sure you are a great guy, but going after a girl in pain is not the best option (unless she isn't in any pain, and then I say go for it.)

In my case, my boyfriend and I broke up and I was devastated. I was so sad that I didn't want to be with anyone, just focus on myself. A guy I knew immediately was asking me out and I was actually upset about it. I kept thinking "I feel like someone died, and this goon is trying to make me start this whole relationship thing over again? Haven't I been through enough? Let me heal for a second"

[truthanddare]

yes, if you want something long term, on the other hand women are vulnerable after a breakup.

[lollipanda]

If she's making it clear she's feeling okay about the relationship ending and has indicated that she's interested in you, it can't hurt to see about dating a bit before jumping into a relationship.

But if she's still affected by the breakup and hasn't really shown that she wants to get into something with you specifically, then it's too soon to just generally go for it.

Is she upset? Be there for her, be supportive, all of that. I know for me it always really feels bad when a guy jumps on a breakup like it's something to profit off of. But if I have any interest in you and you provide me comfort and support? You've got my heart.

[ryanontario]

just ? how soon are we talking ? if days or a week it won't hurt to wait a little bit , and I doubt she's going to be looking for dates rate away maybe she needs a break from dating . we also don't know what lead to her breakup or if anything else at play there

[GAG1989]

I have an idea of why they broke up, I'm about 99.9% sure why. It's the same reason I'm also doubting myself on if I want to ask her out or not

[luigi]

dude, you wait like a month or so after someone breaks up with someone, before asking them out

[rougecerise]

Depends on how long they were dating. Was it long? If so, then give her a break. Did she break up with him or did he break up with her? Was it an easy break up or was it difficult?

It really depends. But, really, if you cared about her, you wouldn't be wanting to date her so quickly, but make sure that she was alright.

Just tread carefully and try to be a good guy and be there for her. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be!

[spencer5]

I would say the best thing is to wait. She might need a little time to get herself together.

[kristylynn0719]

In my opinion I'd wait. If you guys are friends I'd just stick close and when it feels like the right go for it.

[PengersL]

Too soon. Wait a weeks or so.