Are much older guys hitting on younger girls creepy no matter what?

[Anonymous]

I am talking 7 to 10 year difference, max!

No matter what meaning no matter how attractive, how sweet the approach, how smooth and easy to talk to.

I have read on here and heard from some girls in real life that man girls believe the guy is creepy just for hitting on younger girls.

So about me, I am 27, fairly attractive, and used to always get those "younger girls"

The problem is that I am only attracted to thin girls and the 19-21 year olds are the only ones that have that. I am a graduate student at a University by the way.

Thoughts?

Updates

+1 y

I need to make something clear, I am looking for THIN girls and NOT young girls!

The problem is that MOST of the thin girls are YOUNG and I have found that this is the group that I HAVE TO deal with in order to get a thin girl.

A thin girl who is SINGLE!

EVERY girl who is thin and in their mid 20s where I live has a boyfriend or is married!


So I simply am trying to find a thin girl who is single, and the only way for this to happen is for the girl to be younger. And again, I DONT like this.

[candlewax]

You have issues and are incredibly vain if your criteria are thin girls only. I think you're just masking the real reasons here.

In regard to dating, sometimes things happen and that's how people click.

However, it's always a red flag for a female when a guy who is significantly older chases after that age group on a regular basis. Why? There really must be something going on with him because, yes, he cannot date women his own age. It's likely insecurity issues and immaturity issues (which I think you may fall into both categories).

So far, I've yet to meet any guy or know a girl who got caught up with a guy much older than her, where it worked out/didn't have tons of drama. Why? He's chasing after her for a reason. It could be because she's naive and she'll put up with his immature bs that most women his age wouldn't deal with and he can push more/manipulate more if he chose to.

I've had a few friends who do nothing but chase younger girls and it boils down to insecurity and with one, it's the fact he cannot grasp that he's now almost in his mid 30s and cannot let go that he's no longer in his 20s. He behaves and dates as if he was 15 and then wonders why he has a lot of drama in his "relationships."

Needless to say, like I said, there are circumstances where things just happen. Nobody really did the chasing and it happens. Two people clicked and it went from there. I think those are more legit if anything. It's when the guy intentionally chases that it holds a creeper factor. There seem to be some serious life issues behind why they chase younger girls.

As for you, you're chasing women for very insincere and shallow reasons. Everyone has a preference, but yours is purely shallow and I find it hard to believe that they're all taken.

Whatever floats your boat.

[Asker]

I don't fall into the immature or drama category.

I would agree to the shallow category.

But one person's shallow is another person's preparation.

I am trying to catch the naturally skinny girls before they get married or screw up their lives some other way. I am likely older than you and have seen SOO MUCH MORE of the world than you. I want to find an amazing girl, who is skinny, before other factors get in the way.

[candlewax]

Sweetcheeks, you are likely LESS older than me since you're 27 and I'm 29. But nice try. :) It's precious that you think you're all knowing.

[Asker]

I don't think I am all knowing, I think I know significantly more than YOU think I know.

:-)

[candlewax]

No wonder you can't find chicks your age...

[Asker]

That comment doesn't even make sense.

Either way, I have the right to desire what I desire. I am sorry that you are bothered by it, probably because you are too big for what I want. Not that you want me or anything, but that it is becoming more the norm that DESIRABLE guys don't want big girls.

[Anonymous]

Generally I don't find this creepy, but the way you put it really put me off.

"The problem is that I am only attracted to thin girls and the 19-21 year olds are the only ones that have that."

What a cop out lol everyone is attracted to physically fit people, and there are plenty of them within every age range. My mom is 52 years old and weighs 115lbs. You'd look a lot less creepy if you were simply honest. Quit trying to justify dating younger women with stupid reasons like that, beause it just seems fake. I can name hundreds of fat girls under 21, and hundreds of thin girls over 21.

I think what girls don't like about it is that some guys get older and older and still want to date the same age range of women (no matter how old and fat they themselves are getting). It's offensive to us that we're no longer desirable after a certain age. At the very least we can respect honesty, that you just want to date younger women for the status, the looks, and possibly the naivety. By saying it's because of some amount of "thin-ness" just doesn't make sense and you look like another lying creep.

[Asker]

GIrls in their mid 20s are bigger. Your mom is completely irrelevant to this case.

Also, that is not my justification for younger women. I seriously want a thin women, and prefer them to be older.

Lol, but in all seriousness, it is about the thinness and nothing else. I am fit, very intelligent and attractive.

[Auraann]

Wow so your saying you like the girls that haven't had the full effects of pubity. Mate, see a therapist

[Opinion Owner]

There's also something creepy and shallow about your number one criteria being thinness. Not just attractive enough and letting personality do the rest. You make all of you older guys going after young girls look bad because it's ALWAYS shallow. Something to do with looks or body size. You'd be pissed if all women wanted older men ONLY because of money right? "Well younger guys are all poor, older guys have money. I can't help I'm only attracted to guys with money." You sound like a jerk.

[jacquesvol]

Q.A.:"The problem is that I am ONLY attracted to thin girls" Not a Girlfriend or soul mate thus but a BODY.

[Asker]

Jacques, are you telling me that you ignore all aspects of attraction toward a girl and only go for a soul mate?

If so, you are lying to me and to yourself.

thanks!

[Opinion Owner]

No, he's saying you ignore all aspects of a female except her thinness. Instead of looking a whole package, you eliminate based on that giant criteria. Jacques is realistic, you're not looking for love. You're looking for sex.

[Asker]

So...when people get married, they marry the person they are not sexually attracted to?

Stop being naive people!

[Opinion Owner]

They marry someone who is attractive to them, but hopefully let personality and connection be the driving force. They don't marry the most physically attractive person they come across at the expense of all else (if they want their marriage to last). You seem to have thinness at number one, which means everything else comes secondary. You're a good example of the shallow/creepy older guy we young 20's girls don't like.

[Asker]

Are you under the impression guys don't go for one of the most beautiful women they can get?

You are both naive and most likely equally shallow.

And besides, if you met me, you would probably like me and let me f*** you.

[RedSmartie]

Yeah. Because it's probably because he's only with her because she is attractive and she is only with him because of money or status. There really isn't much that a 27 year old and a 19 year old would have in common.

I'm 19 and even if I'm hit on buy a guy who is 23 I get a little creeped out. I prefer guys who are in my age range, like around 18-21. I couldn't imagine how scared I would be if I was hit on by a guy who was 25+

[SteelyMcBeam]

1. You should follow my rule of +/-5 years. Anything outside of that is off-limits; every relationship that I have seen outside of that range has ended in divorce or break-up. It's only a matter of time, and I am not kidding.

2. You are a grad student! I would love to be in your shoes! Do you know how much harder it is to meet new people when you are NOT in college? The only people I ever see are co-workers and they all married college sweethearts. Stop hitting on freshman undergrads and expand your horizons a little. Women with curves are pretty hot.

3. It sounds like you are wayy too picky about women, but if it makes you feel any better women always dig an older guy. If fact, you'd be hard pressed to date a woman your own age these days.

Here, catch: link

You should do your research before asking a question like this and getting hate from everyone, grad student.

[Asker]

1. The +/-5 years rule seems to only apply in the USA. If I got with a Colombian, Filipina or Caribbean women it would not be a problem

2. Women with curves ARE HOT. The ones that are decently attractive in grad school are married. Also, I go to a school with a very good academic rating. (top 10 public in the USA) Most of the grad students who can get into this school are around 10 years older than me

3. Seems I should go young, just not too young.

This IS my research.

[Kamikavi]

It is creepy, but you do bring up a good point: once girls are past their mid-20s it is much less common for a thin, attractive female to be single, but they do exist especially those that are seeking advanced degrees and haven't had the opportunity to do as much dating so if you search heard enough you'll definitely find one. But hearing how you describe yourself, I doubt that they'll go for you...
You sound like the guy that can't get over the fact that college is over and think that you're a lot more attractive than you really are. You probably think that you're attractive because you can bench a ton and have huge arms but chicken legs and an atrophic back, which I guess is what young, immature girls are into...

[Anonymous]

Depends on the girl and the approach.

Hitting on her like you're a 18 year old frat boy is usually unsuccessful. Pretending to be her age generally comes across as desperate. If you're 27 and in university, you should probably try to target the "intellectual" crowd as opposed to the general populace of younger girls.

I think that a lot of guys who exclusively hit on women who are 10 years younger tend to be creepier guys, not that the action in itself is creepy (once she's out of high school ... fair game).

Too many guys go wrong picking out random 19 year old bodies, but wanting them to have a 29 year old mind. Also not every girl past 21 gets fat. I'm sure that there are girls who are 25 who are equally attractive as these 19 year olds you lust after, but accepting that you're now almost 30 can be tough.

[Asker]

I don't go for girls that are younger. I prefer older girls, but as I pointed out, many mid 20 girls are not as thin. Fact.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe you should join a gym? That would give you a new venue and also access to a range of women who value personal fitness?

[Opinion Owner]

Also, from a logical standpoint ... dating a girl who is in her mid twenties and is still thin means that she's more likely to always be thin.

[Asker]

I work out at the University. I also do not hit on women at the gym. That is one of my ONLY rules of places to not hit on women.

Answerer, regarding the logical standpoint, that makes perfect sense. But that is rare as hell!

[Opinion Owner]

I wonder if you might be filtering your experiences to meet a preconceived notion...because I know a lot of women over 21 who are thin and a lot who are under 21 and are not thin. You're right, gym isn't necessarily a great place. What about getting into 5K's and Half-Marathons. They're blazing hot with men and women of all ages right now.

[Asker]

So you are telling me to hit on a girl while they are running? Or while they are about to run?

lolol

[Opinion Owner]

These races are events, not just people running. People socialize at them, form groups, do other activities, etc.

[emzy-89]

i don't really find it creepy. I do think it not a particularly good idea though because you're at 2 completely different stages of your lives. at 19-21 you're just starting out, no life experience and probably don't know what you want to do with your life. At 27-30 you're more experienced and probably are settled in your ways.

i do think it's incredibly off-putting that you're only into thin girls and are willing to go so much younger than yourself to get it. seriously immature and something that would turn me off immediately.

[Asker]

I don't walk up to younger girls and say, "you are thin, so I like you"

I will never understand why girls get annoyed that I only like thin girls.

It is like I am not allowed to like what I like.

[emzy-89]

im not suggesting that you do do that, however, it's something so superficial, what happens when the girl gets older and her metabolism isn't through the roof, will you just keep moving from skinny girl to skinny girl. I hate to break it to you but we aren't interested in someone like that.

[Asker]

that is why I will learn her eating and exercise habits.

[emzy-89]

you know, eventually, everyone puts on weight

[Asker]

yes, but not everyone gets fat.

Trust me, I STUDY women's size all the time.

[emzy-89]

the only way for an older person to not put on weight is if they have the time and money to work out 3hrs a day with a personal trainer, which, trust me 99.9% of women do not and eat nothing but calorieless food eg lettuce...or cosmetic surgery for those who can afford it. Everyones metabolism slows down eventually, there's no escaping it.

[Asker]

girls only tell themselves 3 hours of exercise a day and only eating lettuce is what they need to do to not gain weight. It is just not true.

I actually met a women today who was skinny as f***, and had 3 kids.

It is about genetics, and generally taking care of yourself.

[emzy-89]

Firstly um no it's not just something we tell ourselves and secondly, I know some women can get back into shape after their prenancy, my mum was one of them. These women didn't have the baby and then go back to their previous size overnight, it takes work. I do know that there are those people who are just naturally skinny but they're a minority most women gain weight and have their bodies change in mid-20's so you'll never have a long-term relationship if all you want is a skinny girl forever.

[Asker]

Obviously, I just need the girl who is most likely to stay skinny. I do that, by getting the girl who is ridiculously skinny, so when she gets bigger, she is still skinny.

[emzy-89]

im sorry but I just have to say, you'll never get a decent girl, skinny or otherwise if 'skinny' is all you're looking for because they'll all just think you're jerk. I could never imagine dating someone who I knew would dump me once I gained weight, it's awful. Grow up

[Asker]

I don't understand. Do you think I am going around asking girls if they are skinny?

The girls don't know why I like them.

[emzy-89]

no, but how do you think the gi if she knew that the main reason you have for picking her was that she was skinny? To a woman with any self-repsect or intelligence it would be degrading

[Asker]

I am sorry to inform you, but MOST guys choose a girl initially based on something about her attraction.

If a guy says it is her "style", he means her body and how she shows it off. Lol. I am just being HONEST.

and finally, how would she ever know?

[candlewax]

Dude, I think you need to stay single for awhile. At least until you grow up.

[emzy-89]

agreed!

[Asker]

god I wish the people answering my questions actually knew me. I am more mature than pretty much everyone, even people much older than me.

The problem is that I have all my sh*t together, and have decided I want a skinny girl.

What the hell is the problem with that? sigh...

[candlewax]

The only thing certain about you is that you have a crapload of issues. Go fix those first and leave the female population alone.

That said, I'm convinced you're just here trolling.

[Asker]

I am not here trolling. I am a level 8 here. I have answered many questions and get BA quite a lot.

[candlewax]

And that means something...?

[Asker]

It means I am not trolling and asked a legitimate question. From my question I have learned that girls are very jealous of skinny women and some are of younger women.

I have also learned that it really doesn't matter as long as the girls think I am hot and mature.

[emzy-89]

You're reading the answers wrong if you think that we're all jealous of skinny women, when we're saying that we think you're vain and immature, it has no hidden meaning, it means just that. No grown woman in their right mind would be jealous of someone who was so small that they look pre-pubescent. I personally love having the womanly hourglass figure which you can't have if you're wafer thin. And believe hun, there are some things which are far far more important than someone thinking you're hot

[Asker]

I happen to like waif thin!

And grown women are jealous of these women all the time. This is not even an argument! And also, why are we discussing this on poor emzy's post?

[emzy-89]

Only insecure, immature women are jealous, mature, secure, self-respecting women aren't jealous. I'm not in the slightest

[Anonymous]

To the girl that says guys are losers that do that because they can't get guys their own age...you jealous because guys at any age don't want you? :P If ANY guy looks good and is respectful then it should not be creepy. Here is the thing though. Regardless of age and age gaps if you think you might be creepy then you are creepy.

[justme20]

sorry but it is creepy for an older guy to hit on a younger girl. They know they are naive plus men during that age are going through a mid life crisis and want to prove they "still have it".. kind of sad

[Asker]

justme20, what guy in their mid to late 20s is going through a life crises? Quarter life crises? lolol

[Opinion Owner]

:P I love when the fat ugly stupid girls down vote me

[Asker]

fat stupid and jealous is exactly their problem.

[Opinion Owner]

This place attracts the crazy ones too

[big_poppa_pump]

its just creepy for fat and old women to expect men to want them exclusively.

[Auraann]

I am 26 been dating a 23 year old guy ... I got to say he's so immature and Its not right. I'm going to only date guys my age or older now.

I would say to you that 23 was the youngest I d date at 26 ... But never again . I can't get my head around my self dating 19/21 and neither should you. Really. If its the young girls looks you like/ you can find older women that look young.

If its their personality then I think maybe your immature and need to work on your own education. Because you are praying on the vonrable age group.

[bettyboopdog]

I hate when guys who are 7+ years older hit on me.. for me it feels like guys stop growing with woman for a few years and stay stagnent.. and when they pick back up and want to date more seriously they've retarded them self and go for young women as if that's fine.. Date a women with an eating disorder! You really think that no women around your and my age aren't still thin? Bull sh*t..

[7gnat]

Wow ok

[Asker]

They arent.

[Auraann]

Your a worrying guy. It's not the age gap that's the problem . I'd date up of my age 26 by a lot but that's because I am an adult. 19/21 is really young.

[bettyboopdog]

btw to the question asker... I was less than 100 lbs until I was in my 20's... I looked like a child! Most of my friends and myself are in their mid 20's and about 5'3" and average at 105.. If that isn't thin enough for you than you a/ have issues and b) should move to Europe where smoking substitutes for meals.. Women in their mid 20's are still really hot and half of us look like were 19/20 without you seeming like a creeper.. but do me a sold... Don't hit on me!

[Asker]

You are of course thin enough for me. You probably just have a very attractive circle of friends.

And if I saw a girl who was thin, I would hit on her. I don't care about her age.

And you point out a very big point, you LOOK YOUNG. So how am I supposed to tell the difference?

[LovelySerene]

One time, a late 20-something to early 30-something walked up to me and asked me how old I was (I was 19 at the time) when I told him, he replied "cool, you're legal" then he proceeded to flirt with me and ask me out, I quickly rejected him.

It just seems to me like most of the older guys that ask younger girls out are just looking for sex, and nothing more (which I find disgusting)

You are only attracted to young thin girls? Obviously, you just want to play around and nothing more.

[Asker]

I tried that a few times for girls that seemed up questionable age. 3 times the girls were 19 and I said, "sorry, to bother you, I was just doing a study on age"...or something like that.

And two times, the girls were 23 and then 24...and THEN I hit on them.

I am looking for THIN GIRLS, and NOT young girls

[LovelySerene]

Then what is the question about?

[Asker]

Are girls finding it creepy when an older guy hits on them, no matter what.

[justme20]

I think its creepy for any older guy to approach a younger girl. I wouldn't date a 27 year old and I'm 21. Girls can be thin at ANY age so stop using that as an excuse. my mother was 35 and 107 pounds. Oldest I've dated was 42.. but it is a one time thing. Oldest I will go up to is 23

[Anonymous]

Really? So everyone over the age of 22 is fat and sloppy?

If you ask me it can go either way.

I've seen some 19-21 years olds fit.

I've seen some over 22 year olds fit has well.

Then I've also seen some 19-21 fat and gross.

And the same with the 22-30 crowd.

Age doesn't determine how fit you are, it's your lifestyle and how you take care of your body.

To answer your question,

I don't think its creepy @ all.

Only when the age difference is way out of control like 15 years or more, and it seems all you lust over is young girls. Then its creepy.

[Auraann]

He is a creeper, he is literally saying not fully grown women. I recommend he f***s a guy. They are stright up and down

[Opinion Owner]

How is not over 19-21 not fully grown? If you ask me, the age difference is big, but not that big. I've been out with men 8 years older than me.

[jacquesvol]

Why don't you use the old rule? :

"age of the guy divided by 2 + 7=minimum age of the girl."

My personal rule is:

Over 25% older than the girl starts being creepy. 20% is limit.

"only attracted to thin girls and the 19-21 year olds are the only ones that have that. "

I know thin 40yr olds. (and older too)

[Asker]

girls tend to be thin from teen to about 21 to 22, and then most get bigger. Than some get thinner and in shape closer to 30. I recently made a question about this that confirmed it.

My problem is, I am only attracted to thin women, being 20-22 and then around 27 or 28

[jacquesvol]

Q.A,

Then why don't you try your luck with thin girls who have circa your age?

[Asker]

I would LOVE to find thin girls who are closer to my age. I am 27, and my ideal, which I share to EVERYONE is 23-26. It is MUUCHH less common for a girl to be thin and in that age range. Let me rephrase that, it is very uncommon for them to be SINGLE and SKINNY.

I am a pretty attractive guy and MANY girls and guys want me to find someone. I am very well liked. But of all of my many friends, in many different social groups, nobody knows of a single girl who is skinny and single.

[skinnyciggs]

I'm 19 dating a 25 year old, its fine but his age is pushing it for me lol you best stick to like 21 or 23 year olds. Thing is, he likes to go to the bar and I can never go with him and it sucks. I'm more mature than most girls my age, so you gotta look for that too.

[Anonymous]

It's normal,if anyone say it's creepy it means they are shoving up their own opinion on others,if both guy and girl are young adults I don't see any problem with it,

[Asker]

thanks.

But if a girl is creeped out, she is. That is the fact, and I can't do anything about it. It also means she is immature.

[Asker]

Also, every girl on here lies and lies and lies about what they want.

For most of these girls, if I came up to them, I would be able to get their panties off because I am attractive and confident and really smart.

They are just mad that a guy online is expressing no interest in them, since they are normal...or possible even fat.

[Opinion Owner]

as long as the girl doesn't have any problem with your age then I don't see anything creepy,just ignore the comments of justme20 infact just don't give any attention to her comments

[Anonymous]

Yes I think it's disgusting. I never date men 10 years older than me, I think they are losers for not being able to date someone their own age.

[Metromer]

Ok I admit I am a loser for dating girls 10+years younger than me.

[Asker]

I am pretty sure guys that can get younger girls are generally thought of as opposite of losers.

aka, barney stinson

[collegegirl13]

I think to say it's discusting is so mean...if two people are happy and love each other what does age matter. The guy I'm crazy about is 14 years older than me and UK what it's not creepy at all...hes a gentlemen.. .he treats women with respect and the age is just a number.

[big_poppa_pump]

she'll only date men 10 years older than her when they have a 10 figure bank balance

[Anonymous]

I think it's f***ing weird. I'd be turned off and warn other girls.

[Anonymous]

That's really creepy.