What is it with much older men who hit on really young girls/women?

Question

Even for me as a guy I find that really gross. Like men who are older than me will hit on girls in their 20s - sometimes 18 year-olds! I remember an older man in his 50s who got fired on a job I was at awhile back for hitting on a girl who was like 18 or 20. That was just so absolutely disgusting. Plus I hate how older men try to say "Hey, if she's 18 it's legal," that doesn't make it any better. 18 is still a kid to me.

I honestly cannot understand the hunger that so many older men have for very young women who are still practically like girls or little sisters to me. I just can't. I'll let it slide if the guy is maybe 10 years older, but a 45 or 50 year-old going after a girl who's 18 or 20? Nah.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I'm happy to read that you find it disgusting and disturbing. I feel like you and I have the same mentality and we could get along. ^⁠_⁠^

From a very young age (below 18 and even below 12) women and girls get hit on and preyed on by men old enough to be our fathers or grandfather's. I feel like almost every woman can tell you about a time when a pervert old man made her uncomfortable in one point in their life.

I remember I was 14 and I had this boy I was friend with. He had this uncle who was in his late 30s at the time ask me "If my pussy is wet." It blew my mind I was flabbergasted and speechless. The boy I was friends with was also really uncomfortable and stared at the floor. I never spoke to that boy again. It wasn't his fault that he had a creepy uncle but I just stayed away and cut off terms because of that man.

I always thought the reason why there are so many creepy perverted men is because women are sexualized too much and it seems normalized. Go on YouTube and any thumbnail of a video with a pretty woman or a woman shown in a sexual way or a perverted way no matter the video has more views than a normal video. The younger the better It seems. No one is going to look at your grandma unless they're into that kind of thing. Men like youthful women.

Abothe reason is because young women with zero experience are easy to manipulate and control. They also like that they have a low body count or even could be virgins. Older men love virgins, they want to corrupt them and be the first ones to have sex with them.

They feed off their innocence. They think it's adorable she doesn't know anything or barely experienced life. It makes it easy for them to be the leader in the relationship and just control everything.

It's definitely a knotch on their belt to even get a beautiful young woman like that. They want to show it off to all the other guys that they got a young hot woman. Gives them something to brag about and show they're better.

I hope my ideas shed some light on it.

sunflower00 · Accepted Answer

I don’t know, it’s so creepy to me and I’m glad there’s actually a man who thinks it’s weird too because the amount of guys I see trying to defend being attracted to MINORS is insane. Even going after like you say 18 year olds to early 20s is so creepy to me, they are so different mentally and so many seem to do it because it’s the youngest they can get…like…. grow up.

Like other women in here have said, the age I started being sexually harassed by older men was about 13. When I was 15 at work some of the guys in the kitchen were speaking inappropriately about my boobs (they are big). When I was about 13/14 a guy told me he wanted to tie me to a tree naked and rape me. I was raped the month after I turned 18 by a 35 year old (who was also my boss at the time). It’s so fucking creepy. And then you go online seeing older men drooling over teenagers. They aren’t even fully developed! It’s so common and it’s such a huge, disgusting issue

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I have been back and forth about this. I remember when I was 28 I briefly dated a 20 year old. First time I was in an age gap and I felt a mixture of feelings excitement/weird and slightly “guilty” about it. However I noticed in my late 20s and early 30s I got a lot more positive attention from girls 18-22 then I ever did when I was their age.

Anyway when I got in my mid 30s I tried dating women closer to my own age again. I was shocked and depressed what a pain in an ass many of them could be. While dating 34 to 38 I encountered three grown ass woman in their 30s who truly believed I would be okay with unannounced friéndzone bs which was insane. They were also flaky on dates. Critical and bitchy. It’s like they think that acting difficult somehow makes them “feel younger”. It was ridiculous.

Anyway I am 41 now. I know the vast majority of 19 year olds are not going to be interested me so I won’t try. I am well aware of how creepy that will make me look if I do. And even if they do like me for some odd reason I’ll be extremely careful. At most I might smile and get into small talk. Yes they are often beautiful but it’s just way too many pitfalls there.

The tightrope I walk keeps getting more and more thin for something to go wrong with younger women. It was a plank across a pit at 33. A thick rope at 36. A thin rope at 39 and will be dental floss at 42.

jimmy2 · Accepted Answer

It's that nice tight pussy

Minxxie · Answer

They like the lack of frontal lobe development. Even Andrew Taint said he pursues teenagers because he can "mold" them. Before the age of 25 people are biologically a lot easier to manipulate.

A lot of these creepy men will make the excuse that it's natural and because of "biology" but the reality is that it may be easier to conceive for a teenage girl but she is also more likely to face complications or death than a fully developed adult woman. Pregnancy becomes significantly safer after 25 with the "ideal age" to give birth according to scientists being 30.5 years old. https://www.healthline.com/health/womens-health/childbearing-age

Most women notice a change in fat distribution and a surge in muscle tone around their mid 20's and this is meant to both improve their ability to bear children and to signal to men that it is a good time to have babies. (this is why a lot of women will struggle for years to build a bum in the gym and seem to magically get it around 25!)

The thing that gets me is that I have a babyface and a slim frame so I am often mistaken for around 15-16, especially if I have no makeup on. Older men will come up to me fully assuming I'm a high school freshman and instead of being relieved when I tell them I'm 27, they are disappointed!!! Because they can't really groom an adult!

So if it really was about them even preferring how teenagers look you'd think they'd be thrilled to have someone with the looks of a teen and the mind of an adult (even that is weird but less harmful!) But no, they want someone who is easy to control, that's it, not biology, not physical preference, it's about control.

BlueScorpio · Answer

Because they want to score with a younger woman. Some do it to feel young again, some do it cause they waited late in life to start family and know getting with younger woman can grant them that, if that's something they want. And then there are men who don't understand that beauty fades with age, when they get old and sickly they're going to want a woman who will be by their side to take care of them versus being eye candy. Some of are doing just that, looking for nurse that they can get some every once in a while lol.

Half the time these girls are not interested in a man who's old enough to be their dad. Also a very large age gap can result in a lack of having things in common. I've seen it, she's young and wanting to go out, have a good time, socialize etc. Meanwhile he's already done that in his prime years. There's going to come a time when he to old to keep up with all that and just want to do something laid back and simple. That's something older men have to take in account. You're going to have to be able to keep up with her and the kids you might have with her.

Paulalove98 · Answer

I mean it's pretty weird and creepy if a 30 or 40 year old is hitting on a barley legal aged girl "18" even like 20 because of being in different life paths and what not but like if they actually fall in love and connect it's their life but personally as a 24 year old soon to be i wouldn't date a guy over 28. 18-28 is my range. I prefer a guy younger or a little bit older that way we have some common interests and are going at a similar pace in life. I would date an 18-19 year old guy still why? Because i myself act like a teenager in most ways. I like video games, amusement parks, anime, riding my scooter etc. My crush is gonna be 26 and i think that's reasonable. When i was 19 i was hit on by a 31 year old and i do feel taken advantage of in a lot of ways because of how naive and young i was and lack of experience but he was making me feel uncomfortable and pushy. At the end of the day people are gonna date who they want, fuck who they want. I'm not gonna turn into some bitter karen after 25 or 30 because im a chill person and kind just dont fuck with my family or friends lol and as long as the girl is over 18 but if someone doesn't feel comfortable or the relationship doesn't feel right, i believe the stop comes with the older guy having to understand that especially given the girl being much younger and still grasping dating and relationships.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Hey... so I'm older. I like younger girls. 18 is what is legal here but I've gone younger when it's legal in other places. I would ask what exactly about that pisses you off? What is with it? have you looked at the women here that are my age. Fucking gross! Most of them are fat... all old and don't take care of themselves, have no interest in sex at all anyways, and usually carry a long history of fucking all sorts of dudes and mental damage... they're basically no fun to hang out with. Like a fucking party pooper at a party. Like I'd rather be with a 18 year old acting 18 than a 40 year old acting 18... see my point?

You have your preferences and I'm not going to knock it... I'm sure you have your reasons. But you do seem sort of frustrated with other people and their preferences. Just stay calm... let them do their own thing. It's not the female's fault for wanting a guy that's ripped, and knows how to handle himself over some tubby 20 year old that looks like he's gotten his ass beat by one of the homeless people... and can't afford much else than playing video games on a Friday night. Let those chicks have their preferences as well. If they weren't willing then it wouldn't happen.

Apple1996 · Answer

Omg yess that shit is soo disgusting. 🤮Theses guys are pedos going after girls that don't even have fully developed brains yet. Like what could they even have in common? Probably nothing

And they use the ridiculous excuses like "oh but women more fertile when young." Like if a guy was so concerned with having a child then he should have had a child earlier when he was young and fertile too. This type of huge age gap thing and the creepy excuses needs to stop. Its not normal at all like just date in your own age range.

Anonymous · Answer

Because back when MySpace was in 2007
It just my one male who actually turned to be actually started only normal and never sexual texting at until I became 18 years old back in 2008 . This same first my 1 male friend turned out that he has been using his middle name and telling me that he was actually just fearful of what I think if I knew he was adopted. Which I even told that same male that he even lied about everything including his so called full named was not even besides his middle name. And I told him How could I even trust his own words any more from 14 years ago when I only actually 17; years old and he lied and told he was only 27 years old. Which when I had turned 19 years he actually came over to meet my father and my father ask for his driver's license 🪪 and then asked him how he met me and my father had actually told him he was going to take a photo of his vehicle's license plate. Which he was nervous while my father had given asked for that now 47 year who now actually got caught after I told his wife sicne I never knew anything about his true story. So he told me I could messed up his now marriage he only got married to his life this past 2020 which , I told him if he was just honest with me , maybe nothing like of this would of been happening. Because now he still thinks of me and wants to meet up. When I told him about this male who is actually interested in dating me and I told him, this true man was only 10 years older in my age bracket he got defensive and said i should not believe what this other 2nd guy has been telling because he could be be dangerous and / kidnap me. Which is odd since I questioned about How old I was when I was just 17 and he pretending to be only 27 .

FunkyMonkee · Answer

My theory is that he wanted to start dating when he WAS that age, or younger, and was never given the chance to and he still longs for that, kinda like there's something you've always wanted in life from the time you were a kid and you were never able to get it and you REALLY MISSED that portion of your life and would still like to have it. With some people it might just be a really cool train set that you always admired at your friend's house, a set of drums you always wanted, etc.. Well, some people want/need that connection they never had when they were kids. It's just that some just don't take into account that it's not the best idea in the world. I was madly in love with a girl I met when we were both 12 but I never dated her and never had any kind of a girlfriend `til I was almost 25 but, I'm not about to go trying to date 12 year olds and the like, to make up for it! Some people just don't have that moral road sign to stop them.

lululemonangel45 · Answer

Some men seem to have an obsession with youthful and pure women.

At my first job I had just sung happy birthday with my colleagues, to a child in front of his family which included his 40+ father, when I was by myself at the til the father comes up to me telling me to "take my top off" because I have big boobs and he wanted to see them in return of a £50 tip.

The traumatized 15 yr old me quit the job about a week later, I had thought it was because of my job hosting children's parties that I had gained the attention of an old man little did I realize no matter where I went older men would still prey on me and my underage (15-14 yr old) friends.

Reading some comments has me tearing up, this seems like a universal experience for girls everywhere.

AMS700CX4u2 · Answer

We don't age at the same rate. It is frustrating to be married to someone who has lost interest in sex while you are still interested. Believe me this can happen either way. Guys who are no longer capable from either psychological or physiological causes with a wife who is still smoldering. Or the other way around, a male who by excellent genes or pharmaceuticals is still able to perform who is married to a woman who has no interest in sex. A prostate is a muscle. It is not like the average muscle. It has glandular components centrally. You can't just ignore it, BPH hits about 70 percent. Like most muscles the prostate benefits from contraction. It empties the collection of glandular secretion. Thereby reducing the swelling of BPH. So that a male can empty his bladder. It also reduces the risk of Prostate Cancer. So the choices are masturbation, doing the Down Low, dissatisfied married women (see above) or unmarried women.

Anonymous · Answer

Simple. They are pedophiles and they see nothing wrong with it because it’s everywhere: it’s our traditions, it’s on tv, in movies, it’s trends, and it’s considered the norm. It should be seen as what it is, disgusting and I don’t care if a girl is 18 and considered of age, no 25 year old man or 30 something should be dating or marrying her. She’s 18 and all he’s doing is grooming her and he’s seem as normal to the world. It’s gross and I’m disgusted by this world that allows such rape to take place

I do get it’s harder in other countries where 13 year olds are raped by 50 year olds and that horrible too. It’s all horrible. These traditions that hurt specifically women need to stop but it never will. Men rule

normalice · Answer

I think they mostly just don't want to admit to themselves that they are getting older and shacking up with 20 year olds allows them to feel like they are also 20; to feel like they are riding the crest of the wave instead of watching as it passes them.

Or maybe they are just colloidal narcissists who can't think of women as anything but sexual livestock, and much like veal being tastier than mutton, simply don't see why they should be the one who has to settle for anything less than the best the world has to offer.

Could be both or something else, though..

ShellyB · Answer

At 19, I was hit on by a middle aged dad IN FRONT OF HIS EARLY TEEN SON while working as a server/waitress. It was like "watch and learn, Junior" was how I took it. However I don't think it was meant seriously, like I don't think they actually thought I might go out with them. It was weird.

I have also been hit on by guys as old as my father give or take several times, and I think they were serious, but that was when I was a few years older (22 to the present). I am not interested in going out with them since I am in a happy relationship already but otherwise it doesn't bother me much, it is weird if I think about it though.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

I don't personally have an issue with older men hitting on me, because they more often than not are more respectful and better in many ways.

Of course at 18 through 20, not a chance but by 21 it didn't seem so bad.

I have met some really great guys in their 40's and 50's, some of them I wouldn't mind even having a relationship and have.

Well 40's, not 50's.

A 46 year old once told me, that he has zero options for women his own age, cause they were either married, single forever by choice, with kids and the kids were always #1 so he'd be ignored. That women his own age only wanted a man to fix things and supply money, so if he was going to go be a woman's bank, he'd rather go for someone younger.

Like I said though, anything under 21 is gross to me... but can be respectful and refuse any that I'm not interested in.

I'm just glad I'm in a relationship now and don't have to worry about it.

sassy_receptor · Answer

omg OP you are a literally an amazing man. i hope you get everything you desire and more. thank you for not being creepy and calling out how wrong it is. as a 20 year old who has been harassed by older men like no other, it’s so nice to see a man with common sense. god bless you.

DoctorSex · Answer

The world has been operating like this for over 1 million years. You have barely been here for 30.

What you find weird or gross is down to however you've been conditioned to think. You aren't even In control of that.

Always remember that Things that stand the test of time have to be respected regardless of whether you believe in it or not. Evolution dictates that things that are no longer valuable are discarded with. Respect everything that has stood the test of time and pray for more wisdom to understand how these things help uphold the fabric of human existence.

Kind regards,

DoctorSex

Milonaa · Answer

I don’t find it creepy. I find 13 yo - 16yo relationship way more creeoy than 50 - 20 years old.

Also it is also strange that this conversations about creepiness happen only when talking older guys with younger women...

At the end of the day, if you think a legally adult women cannot consent, why should they have the right to vote? Do you also think the military is enslaving young men because they recruit at 18 yo? Do you think the same about physically dangerous workplaces?

loveslongnails · Answer

This is an attempt at an explanation, not a judgement either way. When you're 50 and past your sexual prime as a man, most any attractive girl who is 18 to 20 something looks flawless, and their beauty is a huge turn-on. Most guys that age will pay for a woman that young by the hour, so they don't have to bother with being rejected. It's all about sex for the most part. Sometimes it's about feeling "viable" again, but that's a wasted effort on a girl whose dad is probably younger than you are! LOL

Kinkyhubby · Answer

I meet my wife when she was 20 n I was 32. I didn't know her age right away. At them when I ask her out, I though she was 25, for the way she carry herself. She was studying for college, had a job, she didn't act 20. She always thought I was 26, just I always had a young looking face. It wasn't til we ask each by the their age, that we found out each true age. Buy we get along so well, and got martied. I think it depend on what they both are looking for.

If an older guy Is dating a 18 to 20 yr old, just to pound his chest n make himself look good, that is where I have the problem

MCheetah · Answer

You mean men like women in their prime, no matter what age they are, and don't want some 30-40 something who is no longer attractive, nor can have children? Well I'll be damned!

The youngest I'd go for is 22, and even then, she'd have to be a mentally mature 22 year old. But there's nothing wrong with men wanting a woman in her 20s, nor is he "supposed" to get with some old, crusty 38-40 year old, if it's not what he finds attractive.

The unofficial rule for socially acceptable age gaps is "half your age plus seven." So technically, I am not socially "allowed" to pursue interest in a girl any younger than 25. But considering my minimum is 22 and I MENTALLY act more like a 24 year old guy anyway, I don't think I'm exactly "robbing the cradle" here.

It's stupid to worry about such petty non issues. If she's 18-20, she's an adult, and that's all that matters.

mattdzz · Answer

Oh, here comes the white Knight pandering for a crumb of pussy...

The fact of the matter is girls who are 18-24 are attractive to all guys. Guys who are 10, and guys who are 55. You have no right to shame them, and try to bs us by comparing them to little sisters or daughters- if they're not related to you this has absolutely no parallel.

The thing with older guys is that the don't give af about being rejected like younger guys do, and they'll go for it. Sure, they'll probably get rejected, but I've seen numerous examples of them actually getting younger girls; so, why wouldn't they? Bc a low-T simp like you will think poorly of them? "let it slide..." please, you wouldn't speak up if your wife was being raped right in front of you...

What is it with much older men who hit on really young girls/women?

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