Man I just met is eager to date me — Red Flag? Please Read?

So I just went on this first date with a 29-year-old man (I'm 27) and we hit it off (fireworks when we kissed goodbye). He is both an intelligent and attractive person; he is kind, funny, considerate and has his own business. He has never been married, and he the only "kid" he has is his 5-year-old dog.

Anyways, we have date #2 lined up for this weekend; but since date #1 he is constantly texting me (emoticons in just about every other message); he brought up marriage and kids on date #1; and has asked me questions like: What makes you wife material? (Are questions like that weird? I feel like I'm being interviewed..)

I know this guy is into me, and he definitely wants kids and marriage (I want these things too... eventually). However, I'm the type of person who moves at a much slower pace and doesn't have these types of expectations until much later. It's a little off-putting and I'm not sure why I'm having this reaction. Most men I've dated aren't this eager to date me (at least don't show it so blatantly) and settle down; but I've also not had much success with these men (obviously, we aren't together still!)

Ladies — Would this eagerness bother you?
Men — Is this "normal" behavior when a man is really into you?

Partly, I'm just trying to figure out if I've dated the wrong men in the past, and this guy, who seems really great, is what I should be looking for, and I'm just scared b/c I've never met a man so eager to pursue me...

All advice welcome!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah, it's a little strange no matter how you slice it. It could be (and most likely is) because he's really into you and just got caught up in the moment. However, it could also be because he's 29 and about to turn 30, and, when a lot of men turn 30, they start evaluating things a little bit (where is their lives going and where do they want them to go). In other words, some have a sort of truncated, moderate mid-life crisis (for lack of a better term), but it passes.

    It could be a red flag though in that it might be a sign that he hasn't dated much and is a little desperate because most men know not to talk about those things that soon, even if they actually feel it. I wouldn't leap to that conclusion though. Just stay vigilant and try and notice any other signs that he might be.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • The marriage and kids on date 1 is a huge giant red flag in my opinion. If you don't text him back right away and he flips out that's your cue to run like hell.

  • It is too early to talk about those things but I don't see any red flags. He sounds better than a player!


What Girls Said 1

  • I don't like being interviewed in general. I don't like talking about myself so if at any point a guy begins to ask things like what makes me wife material I close up automatically.

    BUT.. this is just me. I'm pretty different from most women in general. If you and him share the same goals, and you both have a good vibe it shouldn't be a red flag. Maybe he's just ready to settle down and is letting you know right off the bat.

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