Is it a red flag if a man only dates women 15 to 20 years younger?

Question

Im 27 and I recently met a guy in his early 40s from match. com and he seems very eager to please to the point where it feels like he is kinda desperate, lives in one of the richest neighborhoods in the US. From what I have learned from our conversations, all his exes are at least 13 years younger than him. He says he is currently "dating" a woman 18 years younger than him meanwhile he is begging for a date with me. He keeps saying he is not looking for perfection in terms of looks and body.

My question is... is this a red flag? I dont want to fall in love with a shallow pervert who will trade me for an 18 yr old by the time I hit 40.

I need a man who has bigger priorities than just looks.

Orion84 · Accepted Answer

That honestly sounds like a pretty big red flag to me, yeah.

If you're looking for any sort of a meaningful, long term relationship, then you're probably not going to want to pursue things with a man who not only routinely dates younger women, but who also claims to currently be in a relationship.

At best, you'd have a couple of years with him, before you age out of his preferences, and he begins looking for someone younger, again. At worst, he's a cheater, due to the fact that he's already admitted to seeing someone else, while trying to court you.

I can't think of too many bigger red flags, aside from him being a convicted pedophile, or a murderer. My advice would be to stay as far away from him as possible, and cut all contact. You're just asking to get your heart broken if you continue things with that man.

Avicenna · Accepted Answer

His behavior is not consistent with someone who only dates women that much younger, especially telling you he currently has a much younger girlfriend while asking you out on a date. And there is no way you'd be together with such a person until he's 40.

Something does not add up with this guy.

MrOracle · Answer

So, it's fine for you to pursue a man man with lots of money who is already in a relationship, but you are worried that he is too shallow? Make it make sense...

Anonymous · Answer

I love how the men here are defending him, says a lot about dating nowadays 🙄

He, like most (not all) men, probably prefers a younger partner because some men are under the impression that older women are, "difficult, washed up, unattractive, have too much baggage, etc" compared to a younger woman. Basically, he doesn't want to date someone his own age because he makes him feel older and unattractive. Notice how he said all his past partners were younger- and not just by a few years but 13? Yet if women date younger men, they get mocked, called "cougars," and told to date men their own age.

And not to be presumptuous, but some men prefer younger women so they can "groom" them, or teach them to act/look/behave a certain way.

I'd be wary. It seems like he just wants some eye candy or a younger woman to make himself feel good. Also, see if you can figure out why he's still single and not settled down yet- it may irrelevant, but why did his past "younger partners" not stay with him?

Drewtate · Answer

No. Younger women have a higher value on the sexual market place. He will date thd best women he can.

EricSummer · Answer

The main red flag is that he's currently dating someone already and is thinking about dating you instead or in addition. It also sounds like he accumulated several exes in the last few years.

Best to pass on that one.

The age preference itself is shared by many.

Anonymous · Answer

All men are most attrracted to women in their 20s. That's just a fact of nature. It is also a fact that younger women are attracted ti older men. That obviously doesn't mean older men only date younger women and younger women only date older men, but the attraction is still there. It's just human natire. Always has been and always will be because it's coded in our genes. So why would that be a red flag?

inhua · Answer

the only red flag here is him trying to date multiple women at the same time otherwise no, his preferences don't mean shit that's like saying it's a red flag for a black woman to only date black men

Chthou95 · Answer

Nope. There's nothing wrong with that. He probably worked his ass off in his 20's and is peaking now. Women his age want to settle down because they had their fun in their 20's while his is just starting. He doesn't have to date 40 year old women. Stop being butt hurt

provokeesmokee · Answer

Yes. Major red flag. He's only interested in people in a weaker or more vulnerable position than him. Avoid. Block.

msc545 · Answer

You won't pass up a guy with a lot of money of any age, but guys should pass up women that YOU think are too young for them? Seriously?

Anonymous · Answer

Yes he is pervert. And definitely it's a red flag. Better you stay away from this person.

shades777 · Answer

since when a man who exercised his opinions a red flag

Anonymous · Answer

I only date women who are 19 and under, women over 19 are ugly.

artgorgeous · Answer

He needs sex only.

In_Trance · Answer

Why would this be a red flag?

KrakenAttackin · Answer

No, it means he is a stud.

Blacksnake285 · Answer

Yeah guys who only date younger women are weak

Anonymous · Answer

he likes them "fresh"

Is it a red flag if a man only dates women 15 to 20 years younger?

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