He doesn't care about my safety!

[evagirl]

My car is down so I have to get the bus and my road to my house is dark - no lights, narrow and bush either side and no houses walking in the dark for 10 minutes is scarey - my boyfriend took me home on the bus three times, when it got to day number four he said 'i don't feel like going up there' I had to get home so I asked him if I was go alone won't he come look after me and keep me safe - he said no he doesn't feel like going again, so I broke up with him and went alone - it was v. scarey but I got home, he called me at the bus stop asking if I was safe - I told him you should be looking after me to know that I am safe and hung up - he called several times when I got home but I haven't answered his calls and did not speak to him for a week, I changed my cellphone number and I contacted him after a week feeling all sad and missing him and asked him why he couldn't look after me how come he doesn't care about me - we have been together 4 years living separately, he said that I should have waited until he changed my mind before I left the house to go get the bus - I don't want to play games if you tell me no you are not taking me - I beleive no means no and I think he doesn't care at all about my safety - I asked him if he would let his mother walk down that road alone - he said no - so I screamed at him and asked him well why the )(*(*)(* would you let me walk that road alone? It seems when the going gets tough the tough depart and I am left on my own :-(

[madhatters4]

Ok so first of breaking up with a guy for this, in a moment's notice is lame. Look the fact of the matter is he does care. He drove you a few times and when he didn't he called to make sure you were safe. Is he supposed to hold your hand every day forever? I understand that you want him to protect you but that isn't his job and you shouldn't rely on any man to protect you throughout life.

Let him know (calmly, rationally and gently) how you feel. If you feel THAT uncomfortable explain it to him. Tell him you really hope that he can take the time to do this and then you HAVE to show him that you appreciate it (not sexually but in some way).

But clearly he cares about you and maybe he should drive you home and maybe not but no relationship will be successful without good, quality communication... Let him know how you feel and be prepared to hear how he feels.

Good luck ! You have a good guy but you two just have to work on this issue, but it shouldn't be something to break up over (at least not immediately)

[temptationfalls]

Put on your big girl shoes and learn to talk alone. Carry pepper spray and keep aware of your surroundings and you'll be fine.

Breaking up with him over not taking you to the bus stop is a bit excessive. You might be missing a part of his story. He might have had to do something. Taking you may save you ten minutes but for him it might take 30-45 minutes on his end.

Screaming at guys does nothing. It puts is in defensive mode and just pisses us off. Sit down and have a real conversation with him.

[CrystalMinds]

Ok, first of all, I don't think it's a good idea to "impulsively" break up with your long term boyfriend over not walking you home. I would be scared as well, but I would either wait and convince him or stay at his place or ask a friend to take me home or something, I wouldn't go there myself. If he really wanted me to go then, I'd just say: OK, if you want me to leave, walk me home.

Second of all, talk to him about it! He doesn't know it's that important to you, for all he knows you're just shouting over a detail. Communication is key and I feel you two should talk this out and make some kind of arrangement for the future when you have to walk trough that place alone again.

[evagirl]

thanks everyone! you were all right I had to talk to him he promised to never ever not protect me again and he said that if he EVER was unthoughtful or doing something not right and didn't realize that I must stop everything and tell him clearly - YOU PROMISED and he said that will stop him in his tracks and remind him that he is to be good to me always! so we are back in love and everything is good again phew I must not react so badly so quickly! :-/

[CrystalMinds]

Glad things worked out!

[Missredd]

4 years is a longtime for a relationship right now in this day and asge. I think you should talk to him and not throw that time away. Don't make a decision when you're angry because you may grow to regret it in the end. Where does your relationship stand as of today? Communication is key like the one young lady said and maybe you do need to talk to him about how you really feel but not when you're mad, you'll get nothing accomplished that way. He may shut down which may cause you to become more angry. Talk, talk, talk! It's not worth breaking up...

[stubbsy]

Well, you get the idea that no real guy would allow you to take that trip alone, so your right to be upset with him, but its up to you if you can be with someone like this?,x

[Anonymous]

You can't manage 10 minutes on your own?

But you're prepared to blow the entire relationship to smithereens over this?

Why can't you channel some of that clearly defined rage you have going for you, on any potential attacker?